


Colleagues

by ErinRose1994



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, My First Destiel Fanfic, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 67,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinRose1994/pseuds/ErinRose1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Work in progress . Non explicit (which was difficult). Destiel fanfiction. <br/>Dean is happy with his normal life, but often thinks back to the day his dad first went missing on the hunting trip. He works in an office, a well paying job just sitting at a computer all day, a nice apartment. There's just one thing missing. Someone to share it with. Follow Deans journey into an unforeseen head spinning romance, and all the complications that tag along.</p><p>(There was pictures with this, though they can't post on here, annoyingly)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 Chapter 1

It was 2006, a normal day in the office. I sat in my cubicle and looked at an old family photo.

_I wish I had gone to visit Sam when dad went missing…_

I touched the face of my father on the photo, before placing it back in my drawer. I would never admit it to myself, but I missed the old life. Saving people, hunting things… the family business.

“Dean”

I looked up from my work and into the face of my colleague, Castiel. He sits in the cubicle behind me, visits a few times a day to borrow a pen or stapler, which is odd, since all the work we do is on the computers. I like Cas, though Charlie was my favourite co-worker, if we didn’t get a bonus, she would just hack into the system for us. She hadn’t been in work for a while, though no one else noticed, she always clocked in online.

“Have you got a highlighter?” Cas asked in his husky voice.

“Sure thing” I grinned and handed him my favourite pink highlighter from my set that Charlie had given me, they all had cartoon faces on, all of which I found amusing. She always said the pink one looked like me, grumpy but bright.

“Thanks. Are you going to the Christmas party?”

“Hm?” I mumbled, snapping out of my memories.

“The party, tomorrow, are you going?”

“Oh, I’m not sure… Not really my thing” I never had a good Christmas. In fact, never really had a proper Christmas at all.

“Oh, okay” Cas started to walk away. He looked disappointed.

“Wait” I yelped, sitting upright. Cas tuned to face me, a smile slowly creeping across his cheeks.

“I’ll go as long as I don’t have to wear a stupid jumper” I sighed.

“Sure thing” Cas agreed, before turning around and walking back to his cubicle.

I had only gone to one work party before, which was to celebrate the company being open for ten years. That was when I actually got to know the people I worked with, after being there for a month. It was too fancy for my liking. Everyone was in a suit, and I was really under-dressed. I had also gone to Cas’s 30th birthday a few years back, which was a weird ordeal. It felt more like an AA meeting than a party, just a handful of people in casual baggy clothes sat in a room drinking whisky.

_What the hell am I doing here?_

I must have asked myself that question a hundred times before I walked through the office door. Finally inside, I instantly regretted it. Red curtains hung around, tinsel, a tree, and people swapping gifts. The only upside was the huge buffet and free bar.

“Dean”

I turned, half eating a chicken burger, to see Cas stood with a huge grin on his face.

“I’m glad you came” He added, handing me a beer.

“Cheers” I nodded, tilting the beer as a sign of thanks before washing down the half-chewed burger.

“I have something for you”

I stopped dead. I hadn’t even thought that someone might give me a gift. I wasn’t prepared at all.

“You don’t have to give me anything, you lend me things all the time”

I sighed in relief before taking the parcel from Cas’s hands, placing my beer down beside me. With a nervous smile, I unwrapped the gift, a strange sensation of happiness overcame me; I had never really been given gifts before. Not really. Not since before… Another time maybe.

“Thanks Cas” I grinned, looking down at the tool kit and bottle opener, which had a handle in the shape of my Impala, the bumper being the opener.

“I have seen you tinker with your car on your breaks, I thought you might like a miniature tool kit for in your work bag, so you don’t get your hands all beat up”

I looked down at my bruised knuckles and grazed palms, forlorn.

“That was really thoughtful” I smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Break it up ladies” Joked a co-worker, walking between us to get to the buffet. We both looked down, then walked our separate ways to explore the function.

“Dean, over here” My boss was calling me towards a group of people. My boss, Andrew, approached me and placed a hand on my shoulder, leading me into the crowd.

“Your brother stopped round to see you earlier, so I invited him” He continued, gesturing outwards.

“Hey Dean, been a long time” The voice was so familiar yet so strange to me, I stopped in my tracks.

“Hey Sammy, yeah, at least six months” I grinned, taking my brothers hand at chest height and pulling him into a bear hug.

“Ah, the wedding, yes” Sam agreed, stepping back and smiling.

“How is Jessica?”

“She is brilliant, though she won’t stop decorating for Christmas. Every time I go home there is something more on the table or fireplace. After work yesterday, I came home to find she had put like ten more things on the tree. Weird swirly shaped baubles with creepy Santa faces”

“I haven’t started yet”

“What? Dean you have three days!” Sam laughed, taking a swig of his beer.

“Yeah, it’s on my to-do list” I chuckled, stretching casually.

We made our way over to the bar and sat down to catch up. At least an hour passed by, and a fair few beers were finished, before we ran out of things to talk about.

“Dean, there is a photo booth over there” Cas interrupted us, appearing beside me.

“Come on” I sighed, dragging Sam by the wrist and following Cas. We walked over to the curtain, where a co-worker was posing as a photographer for the day. A few people joined in our group photo, but we didn’t mind, everyone was as drunk as each other. Though after, Cas was determined to get one of just the two of us, as evidence that he made me go to a party.

 

“I am glad you decided to crash here” I admitted, handing Sam a cup of coffee.

“Thanks for letting me have the couch, it’s bigger than my bed!”

“When you live alone you can afford nice things” I joked, taking a sip of my own coffee.

“I know” Sam snorted, looking around my large apartment.

I walked from my living room, through the archway to my kitchen, talking to Sam as I did.

“These granite surfaces cost me two month’s wages” I laughed, stroking a hand on the kitchen counters and admiring the craftsmanship.

“Is home décor your new thing? What about the car?”

“Baby? God I love my car. No hobby will replace her”

“At least you got yourself a woman now” Sam laughed playfully, joining me in the kitchen and placing his mug in the sink, which turned on automatically.

“It all looks too posh to be yours. And too white. You didn’t steal it did you?” He continued, staring at the automatic taps.

“My job pays well”

“What do you even do?”

“Hell if I know! I just sit and press buttons all day, not even sure what they do”

“Better than stood arguing cases for serial killers” Sam nodded, slightly impressed.

“Your house is bigger than mine though” I grinned, walking around the large white kitchen with my empty coffee mug.

“Too big sometimes”

Just then, Sam’s phone rang. It was a client. And just like that, he left. And I was on my own again.

 

Jolted awake in a pool or sweat. 3 am, every day. Like clockwork.

 

“Dean, I got you a coffee”

I looked up, a very concerned Cas looking down at me, holding out a cup.

“Thanks buddy” I took a swig, held my head looking down at the table, then back up at Cas.

“Rough night?”

“You could say that” I chuckled roughly, placing my cup down.

“Do you wish to talk about it?”

“No, I’m fine, I have work to do”

Cas walked back to his desk, leaving me to stare at a screen of spreadsheets and numbers.

Suddenly, I jumped to my feet, and sprinted down the hall, using all the power I had in my legs to get me to the bathroom.

“Dean?” a voice echoed through the bathroom, to which I groaned in response.

Cas let himself into my cubicle and crouched beside me, that concerned look across his face again.

“Shall I drive you home?”

“No, just-” I threw up into the toilet again, Cas holding my shoulder comfortingly.

“Here, have my water”

I sat back against the wall, taking small sips from the bottle, Cas against the wall opposite looking at me, clearly not sure what to do.

“You are ill quite a lot”

“I have nightmares. They make me sick” I admitted, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more.

“You can talk to me. About anything. I’m here for you Dean” Cas placed his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. I shuffled uncomfortably on the spot.

“My mother was killed when I was little, the house was on fire, I rescued my baby brother…”

“That’s terrible! Did they ever find out what started it?”

“My dad chased down the person responsible, he went missing, but I didn’t look for him. I knew he had to do it on his own. He killed the guy that did it.” My eyes were fixed on a crack in the floor.

“Not justice in the eyes of the law, but justice all the same”

I looked up at Cas, confused at his approval.

“Anyone else would say my family is screwed up, or that my dad should be in jail…”

“I understand. My father was never around, my brothers and sisters fought against one another, sometimes killing others to claim charge over everyone else.”

“I thought my family was a mess” I half-joked, sitting up properly and looking at Cas.

“I’m glad I’m not the only messed up guy out there” I added, smiling.

“Me too” Cas nodded in agreement, before standing up and helping me to my feet.

We walked back to our cubicles in silence.

“Hey, dean?”

I turned round just outside my cubicle, Cas was just outside his looking at me, seemingly nervous.

“I was wondering, perhaps, we could carry on our talk…. Maybe over dinner? Or coffee?”

“I’m exhausted Cas, sorry”

“Yeah, fine, of course. Sorry. Silly question” Cas answered hurriedly, before ducking into his cubicle.

Looking at the blank space where he had stood, I sighed, before returning to my own desk.

3 am. Waking up in a pool of sweat again.

 

Just then, ‘You shook me all night long’ by ACDC blasted from my phone.

_Who is calling me at this time?_

“Urgh… hello?” I groaned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Dean?”

I sat upright, recognising the voice at the other end.

“Hey Cas, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was calling to check on you” Cas sounded concerned.

“I’m great” I lied, sitting upright and taking a swig of whisky from a glass beside my bed.

“Dean, you know you can talk to me”

“Not at 3am I can’t. Why are you awake? Go to sleep” I ordered, not wanting to be held responsible for him slacking at work.

“I’m older than you, you can’t tell me to go to bed”

I had to hold back a laugh at the tone of Cas’s voice. Very maternal-like.

“Cas, buddy, go to bed”

“Not until you swear you are okay” Cas responded sternly.

“Okay, look. If you go to bed, we can get a coffee on our break tomorrow and talk?”

“…..okay” Cas grumbled before hanging up on me.

I sat in bed for a while, staring at the wall in front of me. After a while, I realised I had a huge grin on my face. I rubbed my face and then got up to get a shower.

“Coffee?”

I looked up from my screen to see Cas buttoning up his coat.

“Oh, right, yeah.” I jumped to my feet and threw on my leather jacket, before following Cas out the building and down the street.

“There’s a lovely coffee shop just down here” Cas smiled, a slight edge to his voice. He seemed nervous for some reason.

He held the door of the Café open for me, letting me in first. We were greeted by red checked table cloths and women in yellow dresses with little white aprons. We sat at the booth closest, facing out the front window and on to the street.

“Howdy, what can I get for you?” A very cheery waitress smiled, notepad and pen in hand.

“Can we have two large coffees-“

“-And cherry pie” I interrupted Cas. He looked at me, smiled, and then nodded for the waitress to write down the order.

“How are you Dean?” Cas asked me sternly yet concerned, placing his hands locked together on the table in front of himself.

“I’m fine” I shrugged, taking my pie from the waitress as she was serving us.

“Dean…” Cas furrowed his brow, looking into my eyes.

“Okay, fine…” I groaned, waiting until the waitress had walked away “I feel like crap, is that good enough for you?”

“Good? I don’t…”

“I don’t see why it’s your problem any way. I have had these nightmares for as long as I can remember. I have dealt with them fine on my own”

“No, you haven’t” Cas responded sternly. I was taken aback, but Cas continued “You aren’t okay, and you aren’t dealing with it. You come in to work after having only a couple of hours sleep, exhausted and moody, and you don’t talk to anyone about how you’re feeling!”

“Cas…” I was shocked.

“No, Dean. I want to help you, but you won’t let me. Why?”

“I guess I’m just used to being alone” I finally answered, looking down at the cherry pie on the table and poking it with my fork.

“Well you aren’t, okay?”

I looked up at Cas, his eyes were shiny with tears. I thought maybe he was angry at me, but then his stern look softened, and I realised, he was worried about me.

We sat there for a while, not saying anything, occasionally sharing glances over the rims of our coffee mugs.

“We should get back” Cas finally ended the silence.


	2. Part 1 Chapter 2

That evening, I felt confused and tired at the same time, so I called Sam.

“Hey man, how’s it going?” Sam chirped on the other end of the line. We had become much closer since the Christmas party.

“Weird”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

“I don’t know” I admitted, laying on my back on the couch.

“You know I studied law, not psychology, right?”

“Yeah, I just thought you could offer me advice”

I heard Sam spit out a drink on the other end, leading to a coughing fit.

“Wait, wait, wait…. You are asking me for help?” Sam gasped after getting his breath back.

“Yeah?” I frowned.

“Okay, so it must be serious. What’s wrong?”

“There’s someone at work…”

“Did you get someone pregnant?”

“What? No! That’s not… never mind. As I was saying, this person at work seems to worry about me a lot. They call me when they know I am down or need a friend. They bring me coffee in the morning at work after a sleepless night. They always borrow my pens or stapler at work when they don’t even need one…”

“Who is she?” Sam asked, seemingly interested.

“No, it’s not like that” I tried to explain.

“Sure it is, she obviously likes you, a lot”

I fell silent, looking up at the ceiling.

_What if Sam was right? What if Cas did like me? I don’t feel that way about him. At least, I don’t think I do. No, I can’t. I’m not gay…_

“Dean? Are you there? Dean?” Sam was calling down the phone.

“Yeah man, I’m here” I finally replied after a long silence.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just tired. I’m gonna go. Thanks” I hung up on Sam without hearing his response.

 

3 am. Like clockwork.

 

I dragged myself into the shower and just sat under the hot water, staring at the wall and thinking about nothing in particular. The water eventually ran cold, but I just continued to sit there, not even thinking about the temperature or work, or even what day it was. The only thing going round in my mind was Sam’s words.

_It makes sense. I mean, he always smiles at me in a way he never does with anyone else. He invited me for coffee and paid. He invited me to parties and had photos with me. He buys me coffee every morning. I mean, who does that? Who spends 5 bucks on expensive coffee for a colleague every morning? He made sure I was okay that time I was throwing up in the toilet. He called me at 3am… who is he? A teenage girl, for Christ’s sake?_

‘You shook me all night long’ echoed through the bathroom. Snapping out of my daze, I scrambled out of the shower and threw a towel around myself.

“Yeah?”

“Dean, you are late for work” Cas’s voice came through the phone, with an echo. I frowned, and walked to my front door. I tightened the towel around my waist and opened my door, only to be met by Cas stood in the hallway, phone to his ear still.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I yelped, hiding behind the door.

“You are usually early to work. You weren’t in, so I came over”

“Cas, you can’t… I mean… why… you just”

“Dean, get dressed. I will wait by your car” Cas strolled off down the hallway.

I closed the door, and thumped my head against it, sighed, and gazed at the floor.

_Today is gonna suck._

I sat in my cubicle, ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me. Although it was Christmas day, there were still a few of us working. Those of us with nothing better to do. Cas seemed to keep his distance. He had been silent in the car too.

_I wonder what’s going through his mind. Why is he ignoring me? Maybe he found out I’m not interested? Today DOES suck_

“Dean, can we talk?”

“huh?” I looked up to see Cas stood by the entrance to my cubicle, his eyes looked sad like an abandoned puppy.

“Sure” I shrugged, and followed Cas to the Employee lounge, which had been elaborately decorated with a small tree, fairy lights over the doorways and windows, and tinsel on every surface.

“Dean, I think we should sit”

Cas sat opposite me on the couch, legs crossed and twiddling his thumbs.

“Dean, I’m not sure if you noticed… I mean, you should know…”

“Take it easy” I half chuckled, as Cas looked like his brain was about to explode.

“Okay, to start with, I’m indifferent to sexual orientation”

“Okay?” I frowned, unsure of what else to say.

“It means I don’t see any difference between males or females, I don’t have preference as I don’t have a gen-” Cas stopped himself, then changed his wording “I’m trying to say, that I don’t have a specific orientation, so to speak”

I blinked, and shuffled uncomfortably in my seat, part of me wanting to run out the room and never look back.

“Dean, I don’t know if you noticed… It’s just… I like you. I feel we have a profound bond”

I nodded in slight agreement. I understood the whole “bond” thing, I mean, we are pretty close friends, and we do work together.

“Dean, what I’m trying to tell you, or ask you, is…”

“Morning ladies!” Just then, Alan, the head of our department walked in to pour himself a coffee.

Cas huffed, and walked out the room without saying anything more.

“What’s eating him?” Alan laughed, sipping his coffee and leaning against the counter, his Santa hat jingling with every movement. I shrugged, then walked out and headed for the toilets.

I washed my face with cold water, trying to unravel what Cas was saying, when suddenly, and arm grabbed me and pulled me into a toilet cubicle.

“Cas, what are you doing?” I yelped as he locked the door.

“Look, Dean, I don’t care if you don’t like me, just tell me. Please”

“Cas, what are you talking about?” I stumbled for words, backed against the wall.

“Look in my eyes and tell me the truth Dean, you know what I am talking about”

“I don’t…” I stuttered, trying to look anywhere other than his eyes.

Cas grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. His bright, ocean blue eyes. His own scanned my face, a mix of frustration and confusion within them.

“Cas, I don’t understand” I tried to explain.

“Yes, you do”

There was a second pause, and before I knew what was happening, my lips locked onto his. I pushed him against the cubicle wall and held his jaw with one hand, his waist with the other, pressing my hips against his. Cas gasped as I roughly kissed his lips, tugging his lower lip with my teeth every now and then, one hand slowly slipping up his shirt.

Suddenly, Cas pushed me away, looked at me with an expression of shock and hurt, then stormed out of the bathroom. I stood there, in shock, blinking at the empty space he once was. I slumped to the floor, head in my hands, staring at the wall.

_What did I do? How could I jeopardise our friendship? How could I feel this way for another man? It isn’t right, it can’t be…_

“Dean?”

“Sam! Thank god you answered”

“What’s wrong? I was with a client”

“I kissed him, Sam. I don’t know why, I don’t know what to do-”

“Woah, woah, woah… you kissed who?”

“I kissed Castiel, from work. He was talking about our profound bond, and how he… oh god, what have I done?”

“Cas? That’s who has been crushing on you? Last night, I thought you were talking about a woman”

“I know, I just… I’m confused man. What do I do?”

“You sure are confused” Sam snickered.

“This isn’t funny Sammy!”

“Okay, I’m sorry. So, what happened, are you two together?”

“NO!” I snapped.

“Okay Dean, jeeze. Just tell me one thing, how did he react?”

“He was fine with it for a short time, then suddenly he pushed me away, and… wait, that’s not the point Sam! The point is, I kissed a dude!”

“So? Clearly you care about him. The way you started that sentence made it sound like you were hurt by the fact he pushed you away” Sam suggested. I tried to argue, but nothing came out.

“Dean, go find Cas, and talk it out. If he isn’t interested, or you aren’t, it’s best to talk about it, rather than letting the situation get worse” Sam added after I was silent for a while.

“You’re right…” I hung up on Sam, and left the bathroom.

“Hey, Alan, where’s Castiel?”

“He just left” Alan shrugged, clearly more interested in his coffee.

I ran past him and headed down to the carpark. Looking around, I spotted Cas, leaning his forehead against a wall and looking at the floor.

“Cas… can we talk?” I called, jogging over to him.

“Dean” Cas seemed surprised as he turned to face me “I don’t think-”

“Just shut up for a minute, okay?”

Cas blinked, clearly stunned.

“You asked me if I liked you. What did you mean by that? Why did you run off?” I questioned.

“First, tell me why you kissed me” Cas said sternly.

“It was what you wanted, wasn’t it?

“Is that why? Because I wanted it, but you didn’t? Did you only kiss me purely because I wanted to, or because you wanted to?”

“Don’t be stupid Cas” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not, I just want to know if you kissed me because you wanted to. Because you meant it” Cas snapped at me, seemingly hurt.

“Of course I meant it!” I snapped back, stunning myself and Cas. We both looked bewildered for a while, neither of us sure what to say or do.

“Dean…”

“Cas, just don’t. I need to think”

“What is there to think about?”

My phone rang in my pocket then, saving me from the situation. Cas looked at the floor as I answered the call.

“Hey Sammy” I smiled down the phone.

“I was just on my way home with presents, thought I’d call. How’s it going? You talk to Cas yet?”

“Sort of. He’s with me now”

“Sorry, should I call later? Are you busy?” Sam chuckled.

“No, not like that. I mean, I just started talking to him”

“You two discussed your feelings yet?”

“I’m not sure there’s anything to talk about in all honesty. I don’t know how to…”

“Dean, you clearly care about him”

“Dad would be so disappointed” I sighed.

“Dad was never there for us, and he sure as hell isn’t now. Why should it be any of his business what makes you happy, when he isn’t here to play happy families himself?” Sam replied sternly. I had no more arguments. Nothing. There was no reasons left. I kicked the ground and sighed.

“Okay Sam, thanks. I got this” I said before hanging up on him. I looked up to see Cas staring at the floor, shuffling his feet. I was surprised he was still stood there waiting for me. I took a deep breath, and started again.

“Cas, I know today has been really weird. And I’m sorry if I hurt you at all”

“You didn’t” He whispered, still looking at the floor.

“I have been so scared, Cas. I’m terrified. Terrified of falling for someone I can’t keep safe. I have lost too many people in my 28 years. I have never felt these… feelings… for a man before. I was scared of that too. Because my father brought me up in a strict way, I thought-”

Cas pressed his forefinger against my lips to shut me up, and just gazed into my eyes.

“Dean, I was trying to tell you earlier. I have no preference to gender, as I have no gender”

“What?” I frowned, Cas removing his hand from my face.

“You hunt monsters, Dean.” He noted calmly.

“How did you kn-” Cas covered my mouth again, before continuing to speak.

“I know, because I was once an angel of the lord. I have lived as a human, as have many angels. Our father abandoned us, chaos broke out in heaven. Most angels chose to live as humans, others chose to stay behind and help bring order to our home. Living as a human has weakened us, we are mostly human now. We bleed, we sleep, and we eat. I know it must sound strange…”

I pulled Cas’s hand from my face and smiled.

“You have no idea how amazing it is to know I’m not the only one who knows what is really out there. Monsters and such”

“You don’t mind that I’m an angel?” Cas furrowed his brow.

“As long as I can put you on my Christmas tree” I smirked in response.

“So, what does this mean… for us?” Cas puzzled.

“It means, I don’t care about what other people say. And I’m not scared any more. Knowing you are what, who, you are… It means I don’t have to always protect you. You can protect yourself. So I won’t lose you like the others” I smiled excitedly. For the first time ever, I had someone to look after me. I didn’t have to be afraid to love, because I knew wouldn’t lose this person.

Cas grinned in response, both of us unsure of what to do or say next.

“Let’s go back to work, then maybe afterwards we can grab lunch?” I finally suggested. Cas nodded in agreement, then followed me back to the office.


	3. Part 1 Chapter 3

“Hey Dean is everything okay?”

“Everything is awesome Sam” I replied down the phone, a huge grin on my face. I could hear Jessica in the background talking to some people they had over.

“So it went well?”

“We just had lunch, I have so much to tell you! But Cas is just paying for drinks, so I will call you later, okay bye” And before Sam could respond, I hung up, just in time for Cas to sit down opposite me.

“I got you a beer” Cas smiled, setting two drinks down on the table. We were sat outside the café where we first had coffee together, it was a lovely warm sunny day, perfect for our first day out together after… everything.

“I was thinking, would you want to go for a walk after this? The park is only across the road, and it’s a nice day” I suggested, sipping my beer.

“That sounds wonderful” Cas grinned, clearly excited that I was getting involved. I was still a little on edge, looking over my shoulder every now and then, shying away from strange looks in the street. Even though we didn’t hold hands, or flirt openly, people seemed to know what was going on.

After a short silence, Cas looked up at me from his glass of cola.

“Will you tell Sam about me? About who I really am?” He asked quietly.

“Would you mind if I did?” I questioned, twirling my empty beer bottle between my hands.

“No, if you want to, I am sure he will understand”

“He will probably make a lot of rude jokes about it to be honest” I smirked, before finishing the last few sips of my beer.

“As long as he approves” Cas nodded, finishing his own drink.

“He will… shall we walk?” I smiled, getting to my feet.

“Sure” Cas smiled in response, getting up “But first, I got you something for the road” He handed me a paper bag from the Café.

“You bought me pie?” I gasped, taking it out the bag.

“Cherry, your favourite”

“Dude, you’re awesome” I chuckled, walking with Cas towards the park whilst eating the pie.

After a few hours at the park, the sun started to set.

“I think it’s time to go home” Cas suggested. I looked at him, hoping he didn’t mean what it sounded like. He did always say things in an awkward manner.

“We have work in the morning” He added after I was silent.

“Oh, right, yes” I sighed thankfully.

I walked Cas to his block of flats and up the stairs to his front door.

“Thank you Dean, for today” He smiled, stepping inside his flat and turning to face me.

“It’s alright” I shrugged.

Cas quickly pecked my cheek, then closed his door. I stood outside for a few extra seconds, just gazing at the silver number 7 on his bright red door.

I half skipped to my car, having only parked it down the road, halfway between Cas’s flat and the Café. I drove home in a daze, listening to my classic rock mix, and let myself into my flat. Without turning on the lights, I climbed into bed, hoping that the nightmares wouldn’t ruin my day.

Just then, I remembered I promised Sam I would call him.

“Hello again” Sam chuckled “You do know I have my own life, right?”

“Were you busy?” I asked.

“Well, no, but-”

“Good, I have some news about Cas” I interrupted.

“Go on” Sam sighed down the phone.

“He is an angel”

“You only just discovered your feelings today, and you already think he’s an angel?”

“No, Sam, he is literally an angel. He knows about the family business and everything. He came down from heaven to live as a human or something” I ignored Sam’s comment.

“Are you serious?” Sam gawped, then continued “You can put him on the Christmas tree”

“That’s what I said” I laughed with Sam.

“I suppose if there are all the Greek, Norse and Egyptian gods that hunters have met, and demons, then there must be angels too” Sam mused.

“I don’t have to worry about losing him, Sammy, not like the others”

“I’m glad you’re happy Dean” Sam sounded genuinely pleased.

“I am” I agreed, laying back in bed and closing my eyes.

“I’m going to head back to the array of cheesy Christmas films and snacks, but have fun, okay?” Sam chirped, before hanging up on me.

That was the first night I got more than 4 hours sleep for as long as I can remember. I still had my usual nightmare, but I had got to sleep early. Even when I woke from my nightmare, I managed to go back to sleep. Because I knew that when I went into work later that morning, I would have a reason to not be miserable.

“I bought you coffee”

Cas looked up from his desk. I was stood there, huge grin on my face, holding two large take out coffees from Starbucks.

“Expensive taste” He joked, taking one cup from me.

“The best for the best” I laughed, turning and walking back to my own desk. As I turned, I noticed a few colleagues looking at me strangely. I looked down, a slight feeling of shame and embarrassment wash over me.

“Dean”

I turned to face Cas who had stood up, coffee in his hands. My eyes scanned over his face, his eyes, his furrowed brow, his 5 o’clock shadow which seemed to be there no matter what time it was.

“Walk with me?” He finally added, walking past me and through the throng of clearly hung-over colleagues towards the employee lounge. I followed him after a second. I closed the door behind myself so we could talk without the natter of our work team.

“You seem a little on edge around others?” He noted, taking a few steps towards me and placing his hand on my shoulder for comfort.

“I’m just not used to… this” I gestured between us.

“I understand. You are afraid of what other people may think”

“In a way… yes” I agreed, looking into his strikingly blue eyes. A lump caught in my throat.

“Shall we speak to the HR manager, make sure no one says anything?”

I shrugged, not quite ready to publicly let people know about us.

“It is the best way Dean”

I finally agreed, and we walked side by side to the Human Resources office. Sherry, the head of the department, instantly skipped over to us. She always seemed tremendously happy. I would sometimes watch her make coffee just to see what she put in it. Nothing suspicious except 4 sugars.

“Dean?”

I looked up at Sherry and shook the dazed expression from my face, trying to recall what had been said between her and Cas.

“Ah, you are with us then” She chortled loudly, patting my shoulder.

_I hate it when she does that. What am I, her dog?_

“Castiel tells me you two are having relations?” She continued, a huge grin spread across her face.

_Surely anyone being this happy isn’t normal?_

“Er, right…. Yes” I finally mumbled, not sure what else to say.

“And you are worried the other members of the team may pick on you for being gay?”

I tensed up at that word. It was an awful word. I am human. I am not ‘Gay’…

“I will make sure no one says anything, and if anyone does to your face, you let me know, okay?” She placed her hand on my shoulder again.

“We will. Thank you” Cas nodded, leading me away. After a few seconds he looked over his shoulder to make sure Sherry wasn’t in ear shot.

“I dislike her as a human resource” He grumbled. I looked up at Cas, a smile on my face.

“I love it when you speak formally” I teased, nudging him in the ribs.

After work, I waved Cas off and climbed in my car, before driving around the corner and parking outside a retail store. I felt bad having not got Cas anything in return for my Christmas present. I walked into the shop and was overwhelmed by the amount of stock that surrounded me. I was hit by the sudden realisation that I had no idea what Cas would like. I wandered the isles slowly, peering at every box, bottle and bag. I picked up a mini speaker set. _I don’t even know if he listens to music._ I walked further along the isle. _A TV? No, too expensive._ I walked in the other direction to the alcohol. _Does he drink? And if so what does he like?_

“Argh this is so difficult!” I yelped out loud. A few shoppers looked at me and swerved their trolleys in the opposite direction to avoid me. A young shop assistant walked up to me, a clearly fake smile plastered on his pre-teen face.

“Hello there, Sir. I see you are having problems. Who are you looking to buy for?”  

“My boyfriend” I smirked openly. The assistant choked slightly, clearly taken aback.

“Okay, well…” He was clearly struggling on how to ‘help’ me.

“I am fine, go about your day” I chuckled, imitating Cas slightly. The assistant walked quickly away.

I turned on the spot, and stopped suddenly, looking at one of the isle displays. _Perfect._

The following day, we met at a Café for breakfast before work. I sat at the outside barista table waiting, having got up hours before sunrise. I ordered us both a coffee and a slice of Apple pie. As I sat there, the cold air on my back and the warm coffee on my lips, I remembered the day in the stall. The warmth of Cas’s lips against my own. I smiled slightly, looking out at nothing in particular.

_Today is gonna rock._

“Morning” Cas chirped, sitting opposite me and scooping up his coffee.

“Good morning” I smiled in return, admiring him over the rim of my cup.

“It is a beautiful day” He noted. Originally I thought he meant the traditional beauty of any day, but I soon realised that the sun was behind the clouds. After a short while, I noticed the calm in the air, the whisper of the wind through the branches of the trees overhead, the gentle cool breeze, the peacefulness of the near empty streets, and the smell of fresh Apple pie. _It is beautiful._

“Oh!” I gasped, reaching into my leather satchel “I almost forgot”

Cas looked at me puzzled, his brow furrowed, and his blue eyes narrowed suspiciously. I pulled a relatively small package out my bag, roughly wrapped in brown parcel paper and tied with string.

“You got me a Christmas present, and I never got you anything” I mumbled, shyly placing the present on the table.

“Dean, you didn’t have to” Cas chuckled, picking up the flimsy parcel in one hand and squashing it with the index finger of his other hand. I shrugged nonchalantly and watched as he opened it.

Cas let out a loud chuckle as he unwrapped the present and pulled out some slipper socks. They were ankle length, had rainbow coloured stripes, and were very fuzzy.

“For some reason I had this feeling you would love them” I admitted.

“They are wonderful” He smiled, and leant over the table to plant a kiss on my cheek.

I closed my eyes and placed my hand on my cheek where I could still feel the warm, moist kiss.

“I’m glad you like it” I smiled, opening my eyes and looking at Cas’s excited expression.

We finished our coffee and pie, then started to walk to work, which was only on the next block.

We were laughing at something, I can’t quite remember what, as we walked through the glass entrance doors to the building, but stopped in our tracks as soon as we entered. There were posters on every surface about gay equality and who to contact in case of homophobic abuse.

I blinked, shocked at this overnight transformation from office to some weird gay support group.

“You were right” Cas mumbled. I looked at him, unsure of what he meant.

“We shouldn’t have gone to see Sherry” He added, leading me forwards towards the lift and away from the eyes of our colleagues which were glued on us.

We quickly walked to our desks, only to be met by rainbow coloured banners and a group of our female work mates with a bottle of wine.

“Hey boys! We just heard from Andrea who heard Sally on the phone yesterday, that you two are an item now!” One woman screeched, jumping excitedly.

“What in the holy hell…” I growled, pulling the banners down from my computer.

“We are so glad that you two are a thing, it means two less men to pinch our bums when we photo copy work, or flirt with us at the water fountain” Another younger woman added.

“Dean only found out his feelings a couple of days ago” I heard Cas whisper to the group of women “We were hoping to keep this quiet. He was raised in a… strict… way, so to speak” He continued.

“Oh! I am so sorry” The first woman yelped, taking down the banners and ushering everyone away.

“If there is anything I can do to apologise-”

“Leave the wine” I grumbled, slumping down at my desk and resting my head in my hands.

“Of course” She half whispered, passing Cas the bottle.

“Well, I know what we’re doing tonight” He jokingly cheered, waving the bottle around.

I looked up at him, having realised that his attempt at humour made me feel so much better about the whole situation. I looked at the wine in his hands and felt my eyes light up with an idea.

_Maybe it would be a good idea. Wine and a movie. Get comfortable around each other. Maybe it will help me ease into this change a lot better. I want to be with Cas, but I’m not sure how to. A night with just the two of us will make me more comfortable and open._

“Hey Cas” I smiled “Do you want to come over to mine tonight, to watch a movie?”

“Sure” Cas’s eyes lit up, and he put the wine under my desk for safe keeping.

The rest of the day was a blur, a few people gave me funny looks, and a few girls asked if I wanted to go shopping with them. Suddenly I was every girl’s best friend, and they assumed I knew who Dolce, Gabbana, and Prada were. One awful colleague, who was the head of something - _Head of Douche town-_ thought it would be okay to call me a twink. _What the hell is a twink? Some sort of food?_

My watch beeped for us to finish for the day, and I turned to see Cas already stood at the entrance to my cubicle holding my coat out.

“Thanks” I smiled as I took it from him. I was not going to let him dress me. That is just too far.

In the car Cas looked through my tape collection. I never let anyone choose what songs I play, as my car is my baby, but for Cas I made an exception.

“Just this once” He promised, clutching a tape to his chest.

“Fine” I scowled playfully. A familiar song suddenly filled the car.

_Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete, and I love you so._

I instantly shut off the song and ejected the tape, before throwing it onto the back seat.

“Don’t you like Elvis?” Cas seemed hurt. I glanced at him quickly while driving.

“I like Elvis. Songs like ‘Hound dog’ and ‘Jailhouse rock’ I enjoy. Just not the soppy love songs”

“Can I just show you one more?”

I glared at Cas, but could not resist his pathetic puppy-dog expression.

“Fine” I rolled my eyes as Cas reached into the back to retrieve the tape.

_Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay, would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you._

I glared at Cas again, who was staring at the cassette player in awe.

“Why did you want to show me this?” I asked, turning the volume right down.

“Didn’t you hear the words? They say ‘shall I stay, would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you’… I think you should take note”

I looked out the window, taking in the wise words of Mr Presley. _Some things are meant to be_.

“I think you listen too much to what the public say about you. You never used to care, when you were a hunter” Cas added, looking at me with a longing expression.

“I gave up that life a long time ago Cas. I have never looked back”

“What would you father say if he knew you cared so much about other people’s opinions”

“I have not seen my father since he went missing on a hunt. I didn’t look for him. I didn’t even call Sam. So who cares what he would say about it?” I snapped.

“If a monster called you weak while you were tied up watching your brother be tortured, you wouldn’t give in and you would fight”

“A bit of a morbid way to put it” I half laughed.

“Would you give in and believe you are weak?” Cas urged.

“No” I sighed, pulling up outside my apartment block.

“I understand you are new to this Dean, as am I. I have never had relations with anyone, male, female, or otherwise”

“Not even other Angels?”

“We are all siblings Dean, I understand that is a forbidden act?”

“So is this in most states” I gestured between us.

“I do not have-”

“A gender, yes I know. But try explaining that to all the homophobic rednecks” I answered for him, climbing out the car.

“I don’t feel there would be any need as most red necks have relations with family members, according to this new TV program I have begun watching”

“Are you talking about Jerry Springer?” I laughed, locking the Car behind Cas.

“Yes. I believe so”

“God bless America” I sighed, leading Cas into the apartment building.


	4. Part 1 Chapter 4

We took the lift up to my floor, Cas carrying the wine wrapped in a damp towel to keep it cool. A few of my neighbours gave me odd looks as they passed us in the hallway, but I just shrugged them off and opened the door to my apartment.

“This is beautiful” Cas exclaimed as I led him through the living room to the kitchen.

“This is what you can afford with no close family, friends or holidays to celebrate” I half joked, taking the wine and setting it on a countertop “Didn’t even need a dining room” I added, gesturing around the spacious kitchen.

We walked through the archway to the living room. Although it had a lot of space, I only used one half for my couches and Tv, as I don’t like it to look messy since it’s the first room you see when you enter my apartment. Like the Kitchen, huge windows cover the far wall. Between my living area and the windows is the door to my bedroom and en-suite bathroom.

I noticed Cas glance at the door for a second, before complementing my apartment again.

“I have a few ideas for movies. Shall we order a takeout?” I smiled, gesturing for Cas to sit.

“Do you like pizza?” He asked excitedly.

“Yeah?”

“There’s a pizza takeout down the road from here and does amazing bacon burgers” He smiled, handing me his phone with the number up on the screen.

“Don’t need to ask me twice” I chuckled, dialling the number.

Within twenty minutes, we had two burger boxes, breaded chicken strips, garlic pizza bread, and a large pizza box sprawled out on the white coffee table, as well as the bottle of wine and two glasses.

“A feast fit for kings” I grinned, sitting down and pressing ‘play’ on the TV remote.

We watched Constantine first, which I thought would be fitting, however most of the time Cas commented on how the angel Balthazar is really sarcastic and can be a real pain in the ass when you need to rely on him, and how weird the demons looked without vessels. A few glasses of wine later, I decided to put on the film “Van Helsing” hoping that Cas wouldn’t come up with more insults about characters. However, upon hearing about the character ‘Gabriel’ he went into a huge list of the pranks the real Gabriel played on him and other angels. Although frustrating, I found it quite pleasant to have someone to talk to while watching a film. I wasn’t alone for once.

“-And this one time, he woke me telling me that the humans had destroyed the earth and we would all have to move”

“He sounds wonderful” I chuckled sarcastically.

“He has up and down days, like anyone. He has been dubbed the Trickster because of it. Like the God Loki, who I’m sure you have met. Speaking of which, he convinced all the Norse Gods for eons that he was their brother Loki. They weren’t too happy when they found out otherwise”

I just sat there, mesmerised by Cas’s enthusiasm. Watching his mouth move like it was being fast forwarded, not paying much attention to the words spilling out. His hands occasionally making big gestures to emphasise what he was saying. Words occasionally being interrupted by a bite of pizza before he continued with a mouth of food.

_I see now why people don’t care about being bullied for being Gay or different. I would live through a thousand years of torment just to be able to sit here forever, watching this beautiful fallen angel talk about whatever nonsense he wanted to. I would go through years of torture at the hands of the king of hell just knowing I could come back home to this. I see now why people don’t change even when being bullied. Because what’s a few choice words or names when you have someone like this to make everything better? To hold you after a tough day, or just to be there when you feel alone._

And then it hit me. The reason I was so able to change myself, my views, my orientation, in a heartbeat. The reason I didn’t give up on this, relationship, when someone first made me feel uncomfortable. Because I wasn’t uncomfortable. I wasn’t embarrassed. I was in love.

A smile slowly crept across my face as I gazed at Cas, who was still talking with speed.

“-And then he _ate_ the bird, can you believe that? Just picked it up-”

I interrupted Cas then, leaning over and pressing my lips against his. He seemed stunned for a second, then wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. Electricity rushed through my body as he ran his hands down my spine to my lower back. Within seconds, I lay him on his back, legs around my waist as we kissed in a passionate embrace.

“Dean” Cas half-whispered as I kissed down his neck softly.

“M-hm” I mumbled, continuing my kisses across his collarbone.

“Are you sure about this?”

I paused and looked up into his eyes, which were scanning my face.

“Hell yes” I grinned before kissing him hard on the lips.

Cas didn’t object as I caressed my hands down his chest, unbuttoning his white shirt. He simply groaned and lay his head back against the arm of the couch.

“I’m going to hell” I chuckled, looking up at the ceiling, then down at Cas who was resting his head on my bare chest.

“I won’t let you” Cas sighed, half asleep on my chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

We just lay there for what felt like an eternity, wrapped in each other’s arms, legs tangled and hair a rugged mess. It was beautiful.

“So, I guess the ‘taking things slowly’ suggestion didn’t work out” I eventually smirked, looking down at Cas and running my fingers through his dark hair.

“That’s not a problem, is it?” He queried, looking up at me with his large blue eyes.

“Definitely not” I assured him as he shuffled to sit up slightly.

“Would you like a drink?” I added after a short pause. Cas nodded, so I shuffled out from under him and stood up. He looked me over as I pulled on my boxers, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. I blushed slightly, then walked towards the kitchen. I poured two cups of coffee, and jumped slightly as I felt hands wrap around my waist, only to realise it was Cas.

“It’s weird not being alone… I like it” I smiled, turning around and wrapping my arms around Cas, his bare chest against mine. I picked him up and sat him on the counter while I finished making our coffee, before handing him one of the mugs. I stood there, drink in hand, admiring every inch of Cas’s body. Every curve, every muscle, every blemish. He was perfect.

Then I noticed he was wearing my boxers, and I was wearing his. I smirked in amusement.

“At least I won’t have to worry about putting on pink satin knickers in the dark by mistake” I chuckled to myself, blowing gently on my drink.

“What?” Cas furrowed his brow.

“It doesn’t matter” I assured him, taking a swig of my coffee.

Cas looked at me suspiciously, before sipping his own drink, looking at me over the rim of the mug.

“It’s getting late” he commented after a while, gazing out the huge windows.

“Won’t you stay the night?” I urged, not wanting to be alone after such an awesome day. Cas looked me over and smiled softly.

“If you want me to” He nodded in agreement “However, I will have to get some spare clothes”

“It’s fine, you can borrow mine” I shrugged casually.

“If you’re sure”

“Of course, come on…” I led Cas through the living room, scooping up clothes with my feet, flicking them in the air, then catching them on my arm.

“Yep, still got it” I boasted proudly, looking from the clothes over my arm, to my un-spilled coffee.

Cas chuckled, clearly amused, before continuing to follow me through to the bedroom. I placed the clothes down on the bed, and my coffee on the bedside table. I quickly folded Cas’s clothes and placed them on the ottoman at the foot of the bed.

“This is a nice room” Cas complimented, gazing out the huge windows at the city view.

“Thanks. I totally forgot to mention, if you need the bathroom it’s that door” I nodded in the direction of the only other door in the room, next to my dresser, while rummaging through my wardrobe “Here, you can borrow this” I smiled, handing Cas a spare dressing gown.

“Thank you Dean” He smiled, throwing on the robe and leaving it hanging open by his sides, his bare chest exposed. I looked him up and down, my pulse raising again as my eyes scanned every bare piece of skin layered over his perfectly formed figure. My hand trembled slightly, so I shook my head and threw on my own robe, before leading Cas back to the living room to tidy up the takeout.

Once we had cleared everything away, we were both exhausted, so decided to turn in for the night.

“This is going to be weird… sharing a bed overnight” I mused, stood at the foot of the bed and taking off my robe, trying to decide which side I would have. “I’ll take left you take right” I suggested, walking round the bed and climbing in, shortly followed by Cas.

I felt rather uncomfortable, not sure whether Cas was the type for spooning or would just let me sleep as I do. And I certainly didn’t want to ask.

“Goodnight” Cas interrupted my thoughts, smiling, before rolling over the other direction and curling into the foetal position.

_Does this mean he wants to spoon? Christ, what do I do? I’m just gonna sleep on my back. That’s the safe bet, right?_

I lay on my back and closed my eyes, hoping that I wouldn’t scare Cas off with my nightmares.       

I opened my eyes to a mop of dark hair in my face. Pulling back, I realised I was spooning Cas, my arms around his waist and my body pressed against his.

_Great, now I’m a woman._

I looked over at the windows, confused at the light pouring in, and quickly leant over the sleeping Cas to grab the alarm clock.

_6:30am? This damned clock must be broken. There’s no way I slept that long…_

I reached over and put the clock back. As I did so, Cas rolled over in my arms to face me, muttering nonsense in his sleep. His face was so calm, no creases or lines, just utter perfection. I would say it was as if his face was carved by angels, but I feel that phrase is futile given the situation.

“Good morning” He muttered, opening his eyes slightly and peering at me. He reached his hand up and stroked the side of my face softly.

“Good morning” I smiled in response “I’ll go make breakfast” I went to get up, but Cas held my arm.

“Don’t leave” He groaned, opening his eyes wider and looking up at me.

“Okay” I agreed, before lying down on my back again. Cas curled up against my side, one arm and one leg wrapped around me, his head on my bare chest.

I must have fallen back to sleep, because the next time I woke up was to the sound of the shower running. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and looked around the brightly lit room. I glanced over at the clock while climbing out of bed, it was almost 10am. Unsure of what to do with myself, I paced the room. After I had circled it several times, I realised Cas was still in the shower.

_I could do with a shower too._

I walked through the open doorway into the bathroom, the large corner bath in front of me was accommodating Cas’s robe and towel. A smirk spread across my face, as I was tempted to hide them. I looked left towards the shower cubicle, the door streamed up, but Cas’s figure still slightly visible as he turned in circles slowly. I crept up to the door, opened it just a crack, and peered inside. Cas was dancing, head covered in bubbles, eyes closed, gripping the showerhead as a microphone as he lip-sung into it.

“Having fun are we?” I snickered, opening the door further. Cas yelped, jumping as he heard my voice, almost dropping the showerhead as he knocked soap off one of the shelves inside the shower.

“Don’t you know, you should never drop the soap?” I chuckled, picking it up before stepping into the shower with him.

“Very funny” He scowled, taking it from me and stepping back to let me in the shower.

_This is a first. Then again, everything with Cas is technically a first. A whole new experience. Male angel, can’t get gayer than that._

Cas washed the bubbles from his hair, which slid down his wet naked body, the steam of the warm shower clouding up the cubicle.

“Pleased to see me?” Cas smirked, glancing down before continuing to wash himself.

“Shit” I gasped, looking down before covering myself with my hands.

“You don’t need to hide from me” He assured me, stepping closer to me and taking hold of my hands, lifting them to chest height.

“It was an automatic reaction” I shrugged, lowering my hands to my sides again, not sure where else to put them.

“This is a first for me Dean, I have never shared a shower…”

I looked up at Cas’s innocent face, dark hair flat on his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.

“Wait….” I remembered what Cas said to me the other day.

_I understand you are new to this Dean, as am I. I have never had relations with anyone, male, female, or otherwise…Cas was a virgin._

“Shit, Cas, I forgot you have never-”

He looked at me confused as to what I was trying to say.

“I should have made sure you were okay, last night I mean” I added quickly.

“It was your first time too” He shrugged.

“With a dude, yes, but I was on top, it wasn’t much different to being with a girl… I should have made sure that you were okay, that you were comfortable. Did I hurt you?” I was starting to worry.

“It is not of import” Cas started, holding his hand up to stop me talking “I am fine, Dean. Last night was most pleasurable. I hope it was for you?”

“Hell yes. But that’s beside the point. I forgot it was your first time, I forgot that it would hurt you, I’m just so used to being with, experienced, women…” I tried to explain.

“Dean, please calm down. I am fine. Last night was the best night of my human life so far” Cas chuckled, placing a hand on my shoulder “I know it was different to being with someone of the female gender, but I am fine”

I sighed, not sure if Cas was trying to make me feel better, or if he really was okay.

“Now, how about we just enjoy this shower, okay?” He smiled, looking into my eyes.

“Okay” I surrendered, and took hold of the soap.


	5. Part 1 Chapter 5

I was texting Cas as he was walking home, he decided it was ‘good for the soul’ and refused to let me drive, saying I had done enough for him, and he owed me.

“Your clothes are really quite comfortable” Cas had text me, with an attachment added. I opened the file, a smile tweaking the corners of my mouth as I did so.

_Cute selfie._

I had leant Cas my favourite AC/DC T-shirt to wear, so he didn’t have to do the walk of shame back to his apartment in his clothes from last night, which were still in my room. I knew I needed to tidy up, so I replied to Cas quickly, before putting my phone in my back pocket.

“You can keep it. Suits you better. FYI, next time, I’m the bottom”

Before I knew it, it was New Year’s Eve. Me and Cas had decided to be social and go out for a New Year work do. Everyone had gathered at the local pub, along with a few family members, friends, and people from the company that no one knew. The Pub was packed, no one could move anywhere without spilling at least half their drink. People were dancing, shouting, cheering, hugging.  Myself and Cas sat at the bar, each with a glass of champagne, watching one of the many TV screens that had been placed around the room. Each screen had a different channel, some playing repeated scenes from different countries as they had counted down, as many had celebrated New Year before us, though some would be after. 

“It is strange”

“Hm?” I looked away from the TV to Cas, who was turning his glass in place.

“Places like the UK are already in 2007, but we aren’t” he mused, not taking his eye off the glass “It’s like time travel, if you think about it” He looked up at me, no longer turning his glass.

“Like back to the future” I mused, picking up my glass and swirling the champagne in it.

“I don’t understand that reference, but yes”

Suddenly the room filled with everyone telling everyone else to shush, before a deathly silence fell on the room. The reporter on the TV announced people are preparing to count down, among various facts and figures. 

The people around us started counting down. I looked at Cas, my glass held to toast.

“To a new year. Full of new beginnings”

“And fresh starts” Cas added, tapping his glass against mine gently.

“Happy new year!” Everyone in the pub cheered, hitting bottles and glasses together, hugging each other and planting kisses on everyone they saw. I admired the bustle of people for a second, watching them as if in slow motion. The joy, the tears, the friendship and love.

I turned back to Cas, placed my hands on the side of his face, and pulled him into a firm and avid kiss, blocking out all the sounds and people around us. In that one moment, it was just us. No worries, no people, no judgement. Just the two of us in an unspoken bond of passion.

Cas eventually pulled away and gazed into my eyes longingly, as I did in return. I rested my forehead against his, both of us facing the floor, as I closed my eyes.

“I love you” I whispered under my breath.

The next few weeks flew by, and before we knew it, January was nearly over.

“What do you want to do today?” Cas asked me, sitting on my kitchen counter and swinging his legs.

“We could go to the park?” I shrugged, passing him a wet plate to dry.

“I was thinking maybe the lake?” Cas responded, placing a dry plate by his side and taking the next washed one from my hands. 

“I like that plan” I smiled, drying my hands on a towel as I turned to face him. Cas finished drying the last plate then slid off the counter and stood up, handing me the plates to put away.

“We could take some food?” I suggested, putting the plates away then heading over to the fridge.

“We can grab a coffee at the shop there?” Cas interjected, already getting his shoes on.

“Or that” I chuckled before going in search of my leather jacket.

Cas seemed a bit _too_ excited in the car, letting my blast my classic rock collection the whole journey. We eventually pulled up on the road by the lake, just a short walk away from the wall, which below was a kind of miniature beach. It was quite a walk from the café, but I didn’t mind. Cas wanted to stop here and walk up.

I climbed out the car and started to walk to the wall. Just then, a few friends and family jumped up from the other side cheering.

“Happy birthday!”

“Jesus-” I yelped, holding my hand to my chest.

Everyone climbed over the wall to where I was hunched over, trying to catch my breath.

“Happy birthday bro” Sam grinned, slapping me on the back.

“Thanks” I grimaced, having forgotten about my own birthday, or rather, not wanting to remember I was another year older.

“Wassup bitches” Charlie chirped, walking over and hugging me.

“Hey” I smiled, pleased to see her.

“29 dude, getting old” She teased, nudging me in the ribs.

“That would mean I am old” Cas sulked, joining up with the group.

“How old are you?” She frowned.

“In your terms, 34”

“Yikes” Charlie grimaced playfully “Better watch those grey hairs”

“Hey, watch it Mrs.” I growled, jokingly threatening her with my fist.

“You know I’m teasing” Charlie grinned, walking over to hug Cas “It’s nice to see you”

Garth pulled up in a Jeep behind the Impala. Ellen and Bobby started to set up lawn chairs from the back of the truck on the grass verge by the wall, while Jo helped Garth drag crates of beer from the back seats. Linda and Kevin were passing picnic baskets over the wall that they were hiding behind. Ash was dragging coolers off the back of the truck and placing them with the beer, before opening a bottle with his teeth.

I was taken aback. Everyone I knew was here.

“Cas…” I had no words to thank him. I just stared at his excited face in awe as he watched the bustle around us.

“Do you like it?” He asked, turning to me.

“I love it” I grinned, picking him up in a bear-hug and planting a huge kiss on his forehead.

“I’m glad” He replied after I placed him back down, before he ushered me towards a seat.

“Here, it’s not much, but I thought you might like it” Charlie smiled, handing me a long, thin parcel. I raised an eyebrow, not used to being given presents, then opened it slowly.

“A sword?” I frowned, turning over the foam sword in my hands.

“For LARPing, you promised me you would come” She jumped up and down excitedly.

“I guess I have no excuse now” I chuckled, placing the sword by my side.

“This one if from me, Helen and Jo” Bobby grunted, handing me an envelope. Inside was around $200 and a scrawled note.

_To fix up your pride and joy. Love, Helen Bobby and Jo x_

I looked over at my car, then up at the three of them and smiled.

“My baby does need a lot of work doing” I noted, folding the money and tucking it in my wallet.

Kevin handed me a small parcel “From me and my mum” he affirmed.

I opened up the gift which contained several CD’s by ACDC, Led Zeppelin, Queen, and Grand Funk.

“Awesome” I grinned from ear to ear, flipping each case over to look at the songs.

“I got you something too” Ash shrugged, hanging me a slightly larger parcel.

“You didn’t have to, none of you did” I looked up at everyone.

“Yeah we did” Sam laughed, patting my shoulder.

I looked down and opened the present from Ash, which was roughly wrapped in brown paper and tied up with some sort of extension cord. Classic Ash.

“It’s a remote control Low-rider Impala. Sorry it isn’t the same model as yours, and it’s blue, but it’s all they had” Ash grunted, gesturing to the box in my hands.

“It’s sweet” I nodded, tilting the box to look at the electric-blue toy car inside.

“Maybe now he will leave that one alone” Cas joked, rolling his eyes and pointing his thumb over his shoulder at my real impala.

“Hey leave my Baby alone” I growled playfully, placing the box on the floor.

“Oh, right” Sam gasped, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small gift.

“Dude, no” I groaned, not wanting to take anything from him.

“Er, dude yes” He insisted, shoving the present in my hand. I sighed in submission and unwrapped it.

“Cheers bro” I grinned, standing and hugging Sam with one arm “How did you know I needed a hip flask?” I laughed, attaching it to my belt.

“I got it personalised with Mom and Dads’ names and birthdays” He smiled in response.

I looked down at the flask and sighed, old memories flashing back to me all at once.

“My present is for later” Cas interrupted my thoughts. Charlie giggled to herself.

“Not like that” He insisted, pushing her playfully.

I smirked and carried all my gifts over to the car, placing them on the back seat. Everyone sat down on the wall or on a chair, drinking beer and eating snacks that Linda had prepared.

Sam was sat a little further away from everyone with a cooler and a spare chair, so I decided to join him. I sat down and sighed, leaning back.

“So, you and Cas” He smirked, handing me an open bottle of beer.

“Don’t you dare” I glared at him.

“Nothing, I’m just saying, if I hadn’t had known, I would have thought people were lying”

“If anyone told me this would happen a few months back, I would have thought them insane”

“It makes sense though, I mean, you aren’t technically gay” He mused, looking out at the lake.

“I mean, he’s an angel right? No gender to speak of. Just a soul in an empty shell” He added.

I pondered it, and raised my eyebrow in agreement “I guess so”.

“So, you are still sort of straight. Or non-oriented. Or angel-sexual…”

“That last one just doesn’t sound right” I laughed, taking a swig of my beer.

“Neither does ‘my brother’s banging an angel with no gender in a male body, but he clearly isn’t gay’ in all honesty”

“You got me there” I agreed.  

“So, you love him?” Sam asked after a while. I glanced over at Cas, play fighting with Charlie using sticks as weapons. I smiled to myself.

“I do”

We got in late that evening after spending the whole day eating, drinking, fishing, and swimming in the lake. I stripped off on the way to the bedroom, before collapsing onto my back on the bed.

“You forgot about my present?” Cas smirked, leaning in the doorway with his beige trench coat still on. I lifted my head up to look at him, half asleep.

“Oh, right, yeah” I yawned, shaking my head to wake up.

“I guess if you’re too tired” He shrugged, going to walk away.

“Wait!” I yelped, suddenly wide awake and sitting up. Cas chuckled and turned to me again.

“What’s my present?”

“There’s a few things” He smiled, tossing a parcel to me.

I unwrapped it greedily. Inside were two new t-shirts. One had a cartoon Impala, the other was a new AC/DC shirt, since Cas now has mine.

“These are awesome” I grinned, looking up at him before crawling to the end of the bed, putting the shirts on the ottoman, then crawling back to lean on the headboard.

“Your other present” He informed me, gently throwing a small gift bag in my direction. I caught it with one hand, and pulled out the tissue paper excitedly.

“What on earth-” I started, pulling out fluffy handcuffs, lube, and body chocolate. I looked up at Cas in shock, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, not sure whether to be excited or scared for what he had planned for the rest of the night.

“You’ll need those for the next part” He smiled, opening up his coat and revealing himself to be wearing nothing but pink satin boxers. I laughed, having remembered mentioning that to him the first time he stayed over.

“Come here you” I grinned from ear to ear, ushering him over to me “You can be the bottom”

The next morning, having booked a few days off work, I sat in the living room driving the remote control car in circles around the coffee table. Cas walked past me thinking out loud.

“Got my keys, got my phone… Nope, haven’t got my phone”

Without taking my eyes off the car, I used one hand to steer it, picking up Cas’s phone in the other and waving it in the air.

“Thanks” he smiled and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll see you tomorrow perhaps?”

“If I actually decide to put this thing away” I laughed, steering the car with both hands again.

“Okay” Cas agreed, chuckling “Bye” He called melodically, walking out my flat and closing the door.

“M-hm” I grunted in reply, eyes stuck to the car as it spun in circles around the table legs.

 

We hadn’t done much for valentine’s day, we thought, what’s another day to give presents when we can do that all the time? So we just went to see some new action film at the cinema. Though Cas had turned up at my door with a bunch of flowers, the soppy git. And we did share a small bottle of champagne in the Deluxe cinema seats. Pretty standard in all honesty, but it was fun. More, _us_.

Sam celebrated his birthday in Stanford with Jessica, they had some soppy romantic meal. I sent him a card and present in the post. I had made him a mixed CD of all my favourite songs for him to listen to, just to be sure he still had a good taste in music.

The next few months flew by, and before I knew it, it was July.

“Hey, that’s my chair” I joked, before sitting on Cas’s lap.

A few of our male colleagues glared at us, however I paid them no notice. Cas ignored them too, and planted a kiss on my cheek, causing me to blush.

“So, your birthday’s coming up” I nudged him playfully.

“Don’t do anything special please, I’m going to be 35. I feel so old” He groaned, burrowing his face into my shoulder.

“How about just a meal?” I suggested, turning slightly to face him.

“If we must” He whined, pushing me up off his lap and getting up himself.

“I promise nothing fancy. I am useless with big grand gestures anyway” I smiled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly.

“Okay” He sighed, walking to his cubicle.

_What am I supposed to get him? Damn it Cas, why are you so difficult to buy for?_

I spent my day ignoring work, and instead scrolled through various websites to look for ideas.

“Charlie!” I called as she walked past.

“What’s up bitches” She chirped, leaning on the wall of my cubicle.

“Help” I hissed, nodding at my computer.

“Uh-oh, PC stuck on porn again?” She faked sympathy, walking over.

“No!” I yelped defensively, looking over my shoulder at the frosted glass between myself and Cas.

“Oh, your other half’s birthday”

I rolled my eyes at her reference to Cas as my other half.

“Can you just help me?” I pleaded, letting her take control of the mouse.

“Why don’t you look at his browser history in case he has looked for himself?”

“Because I can’t get his browser-” I started, but Charlie had already loaded up a screen showing what Cas was doing on his laptop.

“HOLY CHRIST!” Charlie screeched, turning it off instantly. I looked over my shoulder at Cas again.

“Why was he watching… No, I don’t want to know” She continued, backing away from the laptop.

“I guess he doesn’t really know what to do when he’s on top…” I chuckled “He’s done pretty well so far, guess this is how he learn all those moves”

“I don’t need to know” Charlie objected, holding a hand up to my face. She loaded Cas’s browser history instead of his screen, scrolling through until she found Ebay and Amazon on the list. She logged on with his account, then handed me the mouse.

“Just keep it PG next time, okay?” She whispered before walking off. I rolled my eyes.

“No promises” I chuckled, closing down the tabs and instead searching for erotic shopping sites.

_I know exactly what to get._

After half an hour, I sat back, feeling accomplished.

“Shall we get lunch?” Cas made me jump, stood by the entrance to my cubicle. I nodded and got to my feet, threw on my jacket, and followed Cas out to go to the local café.


	6. Part 1 Chapter 6

Cas’s birthday fell on a work day, which he insisted to go to, so I stayed at my flat and prepared. I had never been very good at cooking, but I decided to try for Cas. I cooked two salmon steaks, vegetables and some posh sauce I got at the market. I also made a vegetable soup starter, a cheese board with crackers, and placed a bottle of wine in a bucket of ice on the floor. I spent a good hour laying a tablecloth on the coffee table, piling cushions as seats either side, sprinkling confetti around, setting up candles, and making the layout of the table perfect. Just as I placed the wine glasses down and straightened the silverware, Cas knocked at my door. Smiling from ear to ear, I straightened the waist coat I was wearing and let him in.

“Woah…” He gawped, walking towards the table.

“You shouldn’t have” He smiled, turning to face me.

“Happy birthday” I smiled in return, leading him over to sit down. “Sorry it isn’t a real table”

“It’s fine Dean, it’s more, _you,_ this way” He insisted, taking a seat. I slid into the kitchen to fetch the starters and placed them on the table, pouring wine before sitting down my self.

“This looks delicious” He complimented, tucking a napkin into his shirt.

“You could have taken your coat off” I chuckled, starting to eat.

“I wanted to match your formal attire” He shrugged, digging into his soup as he eyed me up.

Once we finished our soup, I cleared the plates and brought through the salmon.

“You’re my waiter and my date” Cas chirped, clearly amused.

“Happy birthday Cas” I grinned, holding my glass up. Cas tapped his glass against mine and smiled in return, a warm glow in his cheeks.

“To being humanly old” He shrugged, taking a sip of his wine.

“This is almost as old as you” I mused, looking at the label.

“Hey, watch it” Cas playfully scolded me.

Once we had finished the meal, I cleared the plates as Cas took a seat on the couch, then brought through the cheese board and more wine.

“Our first date we had wine, sat on this couch” I noted, pouring Cas another glass.

“I’m glad you remember. That was the best night of my life”

“So much for no sex on a first date” I laughed, admiring the wine.

“We had known each other for years, Dean, I hardly think it matters”

“That’s true, and you clearly had a huge crush on me for the whole time” I boasted jokingly. Cas looked at me plainly, clearly not wanting to answer. After a short pause, we both laughed and toasted again.

We quickly finished the cheese board and two bottles of wine.

“I’ll go get your presents” I smiled, walking towards the kitchen again, taking away the dishes.

I returned with an arm full of small gifts and placed them all on the couch beside Cas.

“You’ve spoiled me” He noted sternly.

“Just open them” I said with a cheeky grin, standing behind the couch with my hands on Cas’s shoulders, watching him open his gifts.

Cas tore open the first present, this time I had wrapped it up properly in red wrapping paper. Inside was a Karma Sutra book for gay couples. He looked up at me excitedly.

“Calm down, you have more presents to open” I chuckled.

Cas looked like a kid at Christmas as he opened his second present.

“You bought me angel wings?” He looked at me vacantly, the feathery accessory laying in his lap.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t resist, I thought they would look hot with your pink boxers”

Cas opened his last present, new Batman phone case and a Batman mug.

“I’m Batman” I whispered in his ear before kissing the back of his neck.

“I love these presents” Cas smiled, turning to kiss me hard on the lips.

“Oh, I almost forgot” I gasped, reaching into my pocket “I have one more”

Cas moved his presents to one side and watched as I walked around the couch to sit beside him.

I pulled a tiny parcel out my pocket with a huge pink ribbon on it. Cas tore it open to reveal a key, with a key-ring in the shape of a set of wings, and the key painted like a monkey.

“This is the key to my flat” I smiled, picking it up and turning it in the light. Cas gasped loudly.

“Thank you!” He yelped, pouncing on me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I chuckled, wrapping my arms around him and resting my chin on his shoulder.

“Calm down” I smiled, holding him back to look in his eyes. “I’m not saying you can move in, I’m saying you can come over and stay whenever you want”

In all honesty, I was still too scared to share my apartment with anyone. That would mean sharing a life. Which could mean danger to that other person. I have lost too many people because I let them get too close to me.

“I know, I know” He assured me, taking the key and adding it to his own set.

“Come on, let’s go try this out” I smiled cheekily, picking up the Karma Sutra book from the couch and heading to the bedroom.

“Oh, and Cas?” I quickly turned in the doorway to see Cas get up, pulling his jacket off.

He looked at me questioningly, stepping around the couch.

“Leave the tie on” I winked, pulling off my clothes as I walked into the bedroom.

Over the next week or so, many of Cas’s clothes ended up in my wardrobe. A few sets of long pyjamas has also found their way into my drawers. Cas stayed here more than his own apartment, and I was starting to think it was a waste of money him paying for his own place. Besides, every time I shared a bed with him, I never had a nightmare. Without him, they come back, albeit not as awful as they were before.

“Are these yours?” I called to Cas as I was sorting through the washing, pulling out a pair of blue pyjama pants covered in hundreds of little yellow ducks.

“Er, yes” He stated simply, standing in the bathroom doorway with a toothbrush in his mouth and toothpaste dribbling down his chin.

“They’re adorable” I cooed, teasing Cas.

“Stop it” He said sternly, taking them from my hands and hiding them under his pillow.

“I’m just teasing” I smiled, wiping toothpaste from his chin with my thumb “I do actually like them.”

Cas was sulking with his arms folded, but eventually went to finish brushing his teeth.

That evening, I decided to talk to Cas about the apartments.

“Hey Cas, come in here” I called from the kitchen. Cas skidded in and took up his usual place on the counter top. He started swinging his legs immediately.

“Can we talk?” I asked, walking to him. He stopped swinging his legs and looked at me, worried.

“It’s not like that” I promised, standing between Cas’s legs and holding his waist.

“Good” He sighed in relief.

“I was thinking, you spend most of your time here, and a lot of your clothes are here, even your toothbrush and comb…”

He looked at me expectantly, his innocent little face so happy and peaceful.

“I think, maybe, if you wanted to, you could live here?”

“I would love to” Cas smiled, wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace.

_Well, this is it. No turning back now._

Over the next month, Cas slowly moved his belongings into my apartment. _Our_ apartment. He didn’t have much, since his place had only been tiny. I insisted that he stayed there one last night while I organised all our belongings, but I promised to call the minute I was done. I let him take my blue dressing gown for comfort, partly as a joke, but partly because I know it’s his favourite.

I put Cas’s clothes in the wardrobe, one side for him, one side for me, and packed all his underwear into the bottom drawer. Since I was taller I believed I had authority over the top drawer. I hung up his jackets with my leather one, put his shoes with mine, and placed some of his personal belongings on the shelf. I wandered the apartment, placing some of his personal items dotted around to make it feel more like _our_ place, rather than just _mine_. Exhausted, I lay on the bed and called Cas.

“Hey, I’ve finished moving you in” I yawned down the phone.

“Thank you, come pick me up tomorrow morning? And bring clothes… I don’t have any clean ones here. I forgot” He asked, yawning himself.

“I will do” I chuckled, checking my watch “Its Morning now, but I’m gonna get some sleep. See you around 8?” I suggested.

“Alright, goodnight Dean”

“Goodnight” I smiled down the phone before hanging up.

That morning I went to get Cas, taking with me some of his jeans and a t-shirt. I had my satchel with me in case he had anything left he wanted to take. The landlord was outside, hanging up a “Room to Let” sign on the door.

_That was fast._

Cas answered the door in just his dressing gown, which was open. He looked down, embarrassed. I raised my eyebrow in admiration, then proceeded to help him pack away his clothes from the previous night, along with a few odds and ends he had left behind.

“The landlord is letting this place fully furnished” He informed me, pulling up his jeans.

“You don’t need furniture anyway” I noted.

“I’m going to miss this bed”

“I’m gonna miss the railings” I laughed, rocking the loose headboard back and forth. Cas blushed, pulled on his t-shirt, then slipped on some trainers.

“I’m ready” He sighed, looking around the apartment.

I walked out and stood in the hallway, watching as Cas said goodbye to every piece of furniture, every crack in the wall, until he stopped at the doorway and looked down. With a deep breathe, he crossed the threshold and entered the hallway, taking hold of my hand.

“Goodbye apartment” He called as we walked down the stairs and towards our new life together.


	7. Part 1 Chapter 7

In early September, Cas took a day off work because the Boss said he was due a leave. I walked to the car alone after work, but something felt off. I looked over my shoulder while pulling my keys from my bag. A shadow moved behind a car in the corner of my eye.

_I thought I left hunting behind._

Within a second, something struck the back of my head. I spun around, dazed and confused.

“Oi Faggot!” Someone yelled. My vision was blurry, but I could make out the shapes of 3 men. One close to me, holding a baseball bat in his hands. The other two were further back.

 “What-”

I didn’t finish my sentence, because the guy with the bat swung it and hit me in the face. I fell backwards onto the floor, falling in and out of consciousness. All I saw were fists pummelling into my face, three hooded figures bearing down on me, shouting homophobic curses at me as they knocked me unconscious. A warm metallic taste in my mouth, a hot stinging pain on my cheeks and nose, blackness engulfing my vision. In that moment, I thought I was going to die.

My eyes slowly opened, though only a crack, to a blinding light. The horrid ringing in my ears was interrupted by the occasional muffled sound. My face hurt like hell, though my arm hurt too.

_Am I dead?_

Slowly, sound came into focus more. I could hear talking. Multiple people talking all at once, though they were still muffled, and I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

The blinding light dimmed and I could see green curtains. Shadows passing me. I tried to reach up, but no movement came of it. My vision slowly focused. A nurse. She was blurry, but I could tell. I glanced around, unable to move my head, as it felt like everything was spinning.

“Mr Winchester?” The nurse was saying repeatedly, trying to get my attention. But I was too busy looking for someone.

“Dean” A familiar voice among the murmurs.

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, and a warm hand catch it, caressing my cheek in comfort. My vision became almost fully focused, I was able to see Cas, and the nurse attending me.

“He’s awake” The nurse called out, causing a few more to rush over and check the machines around me. I looked around, my hearing back now.

“Wh-”

“Try not to speak” The nurse hushed me.

“You’re in hospital” Cas informed me. He looked exhausted, his 5 o’clock shadow now a bit more than stubble. “You were out for several days” He sighed, looking down. Tears rolled down his face. “I thought I lost you” He whispered.

“Cas, I’m here” I promised in a gruff voice, raising my shaky hand to wipe his tears from his face.

Sam walked in the room, hands in pockets and looking sorry for me.

“Everyone sends their sympathies” He informed me, before taking a seat beside Cas.

“I don’t need people to feel sorry for me” I huffed, before setting myself into a coughing fit.

The nurse handed me a bowl just in case as I pushed myself weakly to sit up.

“I’m fine” I grunted, getting my breath back “I wanna go home”

“We need to make sure you are well enough before we can discharge you” The nurse stated, writing down my heart rate and other numbers on a screen, which was wired up to a clip on my left finger. I was also on a drip, and had a few wires taped to my chest to get some other readings.

“Well, your pulse is normal, so are your other vitals” She noted, pressing a few buttons on the machine before walking off.

“I just want to go home” I whined, looking at Sam and Cas with a pathetic puppy face.

“I’m just glad you’re awake” Sam smiled, going to pat me on the shoulder but resisting, having noticed the bruises that cover my body.

“I’m glad nothing’s broken” I half-heartedly laughed, coughing again. Sam looked at Cas, then back at me. I started to get worried, looking down to make sure I still had my legs.

“Don’t worry, you aren’t missing anything, but they did crack a few ribs and you got a few sprains and bruised bones in your arms and legs” He sighed, looking at me sympathetically again.

“Explains the pain” I smirked, then looked at the drip. “Guess they had me doped up on morphine?”

“Yeah, you have antibiotics and pain killers in their now, not as strong as before”

Cas was still looking down, though he had stopped crying now.

“Cas, are you okay? I’m still alive, you know?” I joked. He looked up at me, his eyes dark with pain and sadness, dark circles under his eyes and pink blotchy cheeks from the tears.

“This is all my fault” He stated plainly, before getting up and walking out. I looked at Sam.

“The police think this was a homophobic attack” He informed me.

“If it was monsters, I’d be dead by now. Rather this than monsters” I shrugged.

“I’ll go find Cas, calm him down”

“Thanks” I nodded, slowly drifting back into unconsciousness.

“Dean, wake up, we’re going home” I recognised Cas’s excited voice in the darkness. My eyes slowly opened. Cas had shaved, and seemed less tired this time.

“How long was I out?” I groaned, sitting up to see Cas packing a small suitcase.

“About 40 hours or so. Once you had woken up, I went home, got refreshed. The doctors called me and told me you could go home”

“You hadn’t left for the whole time I was out?”

“No, I only left when I knew you were okay” He smiled, putting the packed suitcase on the floor. I rolled my eyes, smiling. I was no longer wired up, just lying in a hospital bed in a green gown.

“I may need a hand” I smiled, sitting up and realising I had fabric bandages around my arms. “I can’t reach the back of my gown to get it off”

“How are you today Mr. Winchester?” A nurse asked, walking in with her clipboard.

“Fine, I just want to wear some normal clothes” I laughed, swinging my legs off the bed.

The nurse handed me my clothes, which were clean and no longer covered in blood.

“I’ll leave you to it” She smiled, closing the curtain around the bed.

“I am so sorry you went through this” Cas apologised, walking over and helping me to my feet. “I will never forgive myself for letting you go to work alone” He said, untying the robe and slipping it off.

“I was _naked_ under that?” I gasped, looking down.

“Yeah you had full body x-rays and ultra sounds, so they had to put you in that. I helped” Cas looked at me apologetically, holding out my boxers for me to step into.

“I can get dressed myself” I snapped, not wanting to seem like a child.

I managed to pull my boxers and jeans on, but struggled with my top.

“Erm, Cas” I said in a muffled tone, I had one arm in a sleeve, the other bent in the chest area, my hand out the neck hole, and my head stuck somewhere in the middle.

“Come here” He laughed, pulling it over my head and straightening me out.

“Thanks” I smiled, then pulled my socks and shoes on. I let Cas tie my laces as I struggled.

_I feel like a pathetic mess._

We got a taxi home. I felt so weird not driving Baby around. Then again, I wouldn’t trust Cas to drive her either. Cas helped me out the car, my legs buckling slightly as I stepped onto the curb. We slowly made our way through the doors and up the elevator, I was determined to be self-reliant, attempting to walk without Cas aiding me. Cas unlocked the door and let us in, turning on the lights.  I staggered in, dragging myself towards the bedroom while Cas carried my bag of clothes.

“Cas, get me beer please?” I called behind me.

“You can’t drink. Doctors’ orders” He informed me. I groaned, half-heartedly punched the door frame, and then stumbled painfully to bed.

I opened my eyes, the morning light was pouring through the windows, and the bed beside me was empty. My heart raced as I looked around, the room empty. Just then, the door swung open, and Cas stepped in backwards, then turned to face me.

“Good morning” He chirped. He was carrying a tray with breakfast, a cup of coffee and a small vase with a single rose.

“What’s this?” I frowned, sitting up sleepily as he walked over to me.

“You need your rest” Cas replied, laying the tray on my lap. I looked down at the plate of bacon, sausage, eggs, beans and hash browns, the corners of my mouth beginning to drool.

“You’re the best” I grinned up at him, then moved the vase carefully onto my bedside table. Cas sat beside me on the bed and watched as I devoured the food.

“This is awesome” I complimented through a mouth of bacon.

“You’re very welcome” He smiled, gently kissing my forehead.

“I almost forgot” Cas gasped, jumping to his feet and running out the room. I finished off my food just as he returned, carrying a small apple pie.

“Have I ever told you that you’re amazing?” I grinned, taking the pie from him.

“A fair few times” He replied, sitting beside me and running his fingers through my hair as I ate.

A few days later, I was feeling a lot better. I was able to walk normally without having to stop for breath or sit down, my voice wasn’t as husky, and I had stopped throwing up from coughing fits.

I was cooking pancakes for breakfast, having got up hours before Cas was even awake. All of a sudden, Cas ran into the kitchen in his rainbow slipper socks.

“Careful, the floor-”

Cas ignored me, and slid across the kitchen and straight into my arms. He looked up into my eyes and smiled, his sky blue eyes still full of sleep.

“You overgrown baby” I joked, tousling his mop of bed hair.

“You love these pyjamas!” He gasped, frowning as he looked down at his fluffy blue pyjama set with hundreds of little yellow ducks all over them.

“But I love you more” I grinned, planting a kiss on Cas’s crumpled forehead. He looked up at me perplexed, as I had yet to say that out loud to him, if you don’t count whispering it as telling him.

“I am completely in love with you” He admitted.

“I should hope so, we have been together for 10 months”

“Do you have any idea how adorable it is that you remember that?” He mused, eyes scanning my face. I shrugged, then served up our pancakes. 


	8. Part 1 Chapter 8

“Why is there Halloween crap everywhere” I growled, pushing the shopping trolley through the supermarket, Cas walking by my side, admiring every item we passed.

“It’s almost mid-October, what did you expect?” He chuckled, picking up a vampire decoration. I turned to face him, only to be met by a vampire shoved in my face. I yelped and jumped back. Cas was doubled over laughing.

“I dislike you sometimes” I growled, holding my chest before we continued walking.

“Nah, you love me” He said smugly, clinging onto my arm. I was about to snap back with a witty remark, but my phone started ringing. Cas took control of the trolley while I answered it.

“Yeah?”

“Is this Mr. Dean Winchester?”

“Who’s asking?” I frowned, pacing in a circle.

“We have a Miss Lisa Braeden in Riverview Health Hospital, Noblesville, Indiana. Her son is here, however her documents state that if anything were to happen to her, that a Mr. Dean Winchester should be contacted regarding the child.”

I didn’t respond, just stared blankly at the wall, unable to think, my breathing quick and my heart rate increased.

“Mr. Winchester?”

“Yeah. I’m here… Why would I be contacted?”

“It would be best if we spoke in person, could you come down to the hospital today?”

“Sure” I hung up, not taking my eyes off the wall. After a few seconds, I dropped my phone and placed my face in my hands, crumpling to my knees.

“Dean?” Cas rushed over to me, helping me to my feet. I was breathless, eyes wide and not focusing on anything in particular.

“Dean, you are having a panic attack. You need to calm down” Cas urged. I slowly looked up at him.

“We need to go to Indiana” I muttered through breaths.

“That’s over 30 hours away” Cas frowned “Are you okay?”

“You have to trust me” I stood up and began to push the trolley double speed.

“Dean-” Cas started, but decided not to say anything.

Cas was silent as we drove home. He was silent as we packed our small suitcases too.

“So, you had a thing with her 9 years ago, right?” He finally asked, trying to understand the situation I had explained to him.

“And she has a son…” He continued, zipping up his suitcase.

“Please, Cas, just don’t” I snapped, stopping what I was doing as I stared down at my case, sighing.

“I’m sorry” He replied, walking over and placing his hand on my back. I shrugged him off.

“Let’s go”

We were silent for the first few hours, Cas staring out the window, trying to avoid eye contact with me. I shuffled in my seat, thinking of something to say. Another hour passed before I plucked up the courage to speak to him.

“Look, Cas, I’m sorry” I finally stuttered, glancing over at him. He ignored me, gazing out the window. I sighed and looked down at my hands, then out the front window.

“I was trying to help” He insisted after a short while, not taking his eyes off the side window.

“I know, and I said I’m sorry”

“You pushed me away, snapped at me…”

“I said I’m sor-”

“I came with you anyway” Cas interrupted me. I glanced at him, he was looking at me, unshed tears in his eyes, a soft expression on his face “Why do you think I did that, Dean?”

“Because you’re stupid?” I half laughed. Cas ignored my insult.

“It’s because I love you”

“Well, you shouldn’t. I was a jerk to you”

“Yes, but you are my jerk”

I realised then, that Cas wasn’t going anywhere.

“Dean, you have been driving for almost ten hours, only stopped for toilet breaks and to fill up the gas, can we just find a motel?” Cas sounded concerned.

“It’s only 4am” I yawned, swerving slightly.

“At least let me drive” He insisted, placing a hand over mine on the wheel. I agreed, and at the next rest stop, we grabbed some coffee and fries, switched sides, and continued on our way.

I fell asleep almost instantly in the passanger seat, exhausted.

My eyes opened a crack to the sunlight.

“What time is it?” I asked, sitting up and stretching.

“Almost mid day” Cas informed me, eyes fixed on the road.

“I was out for 8 hours?” I frowned, looking around out the windows.

“I tried to wake you for bathrooms breaks, but you were like a rock”

“Yeah, well I need it now” I yawned “Where are we?”

“Wyoming, almost into Nebraska”

“Can you pull over? We can get into clean clothes and switch sides too”

“Theres a Gas station up ahead” He mused. We pulled up and Cas filled the car as I went to the bathroom, then grabbed some more coffee and food for the road.

“They had pie” I walked towards Cas, grinning. He chuckled slightly, then climbed into the passenger side. I got in the car and planted all the food on Cas’s lap, including the pie.

“Cas, I gotta say, you look delicious” I laughed.

“Why thank you” He laughed back, holding up the rectangular pie slice and posing suggestively.

We hit the road again, listening to some classic AC/DC tracks.

Before long, we passed a sign for St. Joseph, Missouri. I did a double take.

“Shit”

“What’s wrong?” Cas frowned, looking over at me.

“We’re about an hour out of where I was born. Luckily it’s south and we need to go east”

Cas leant on my shoulder, rubbing a hand on my back soothingly.

“You don’t need to think about that place any more” He assured me “You no longer have the nightmares, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right” I sighed thankfully.

After a few of hours of silence, the only sound coming from my radio, Cas snickered. I looked over at him, confused. His eyes were flicking over towns on the map he held infront of him.

“What’s up?”

“In about an hour, we will be passing through Springfield”

“You’re such a child” I rolled my eyes, smirking.

“Come on, you have to admit you find it amusing”

“A little I guess” I shrugged, taking the map and quickly examining where we were, slowing the car.

“What I find more amusing is the fact we are in a town called Hannibal right now” I added, looking up from the map and at the road ahead. Cas took the map back as I sped up again.

“As soon as we cross this river up ahead, we will be in Illanois, then it is only 4 hours to go” He informed me, looking up from the map at the bridge ahead of us.  

I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat.

Once we crossed the boarder, I drove us straight through to Springfield, where we decided to stop for a quick break. I grabbed a coffee from a nearby shop and checked my phone, leaning on the roof of my car.

“Would you like me to drive the rest of the way? At least until we get into Indianapolis”

“If you wouldn’t mind” I smiled at Cas thankfully as he stood beside me.   

“It is perfectly fine” He smiled in return, kissing my cheek softly and getting into the car. I stood there for a short while, looking out at cityscape and the Capitol Building in the middle. I sighed, not sure what to think of the events unfolding.

Cas started the car up, so I climbed in beside him.

I kept falling in and out of consciousness, not able to sleep, but not able to stay awake either.

Eventually, we were heading down route 32 and entered Noblesville.

“It’s 3 am, I think we should pull in for a few hours, get some rest” I suggested.

We decided to grab coffee and a burger from Mc donalds. We sat inside for a while, eating in silence, the only other people there being the manager and teen girl who served us. She kept looking at us, so awkwardly, I decided to wave and smile. Both myself and Cas chuckled as she quickly walked away out back. We sat in there for about an hour, then headed out to the car.

“I think it is quiet enough to rest in the car” Cas commented, climbing into the passenger side. I agreed, and we both tried to shut our eyes for an hour or so. My watched beeped, waking us up.

“Cas, its 6am” I grunted, nudging him. He opened his eyes slightly and looked at me.

“I’m gonna get changed” I muttered, climbing out the car sleepily. I walked into Mc donalds and straight to the bathroom to wash up and change. I stood there, looking in the mirror, not sure what I was going to do or say when I saw Lisa again.

_She was so beautiful all those years ago…_

I closed my eyes tight, dunked my head under the tap and washed with cold water. I looked up at my reflection, sighed, shook my head, and headed out to the car.

When we were both ready, and my hair had dried, I started up the engine.


	9. Part 1 Chapter 9

Only 5 minutes down the road, I pulled into the hospital car park. I didn’t get out straight away. I sat in the car, staring up at the modernised brick building.

“Dean, we need to go” Cas insisted, bending down to look at me through his open door, before closing it.  I sighed, and climbed nervously out the car.

“I haven’t seen her for 9 years Cas, what do I say?” I asked, panicking as we walked into the building.

“Just be yourself”

We walked up to the reception desk, Cas behind me as he didn’t want to intrude.

“Hey, Mr. Winchester here to see Lisa Braeden”

“I’m sorry, I don-” The nurse started, looking through her sheets of paper.

“I’ll take it from here” A doctor called, walking up to me and shaking my hand.

“I’m Doctor Morgan, we spoke on the phone the other day”

“I’m Dean, this is Cas” I introduced us. The doctor didn’t shake Cas’s hand.

“I’m sorry, we don’t allow friends-”

“Cas is my partner” I corrected him.

“Oh, I’m sorry” He quickly shook Cas’s hand “Then you are very welcome”

I glanced at Cas out the corner of my eye, not sure how he would take being called my partner. I felt a little uneasy saying those words, though Cas was clearly trying to hold back a grin.

The doctor led us through the corridors, explaining the situation as we walked.

“Lisa was in a car crash the morning I called you. She had just dropped her son off at school”

“Is she alright?” I asked quickly.

“She is in a coma. That’s why we called you. In her files, we had records of paternity test for the child’s father when he was newly born. It came back negative for her partner at the time. She then wrote down on her documents that there is only one other possible father, who must be contacted in case of emergency, something about not wanting to leave Ben without a father”

I had stopped walking, frozen in place, my eyes fixed on nothing in particular. The doctor turned and faced me, concerned.

“Are you alright?”

“He has had a very difficult time. He has not spoken to Lisa for 9 years” Cas informed him, walking up to me and placing a hand on my back.

“Dean, are you alright?” He asked, standing in front of me and looking into my eyes.

“I…I have a son” I muttered under my breath.

“I take it you didn’t know?” The doctor asked, walking up to me.

“How can this even be possible, why wouldn’t she tell me?” I stopped talking and looked up at the doctor, Cas by my side again “She’s in a coma?”

The doctor nodded, and I started to walk forwards.

“Take me to her” I ordered. He looked at me, shocked, but led on, Cas following behind me.

The doctor stopped by a glass door, opposite another reception desk, and slid it open slowly, peering inside before walking in.

“Ben is in a spare room, where visitors tend to sleep” He informed me, his voice still low “I will see if he is awake, if so, I will bring him to you”

“Thank you”

The doctor left, leaving me and Cas alone with Lisa. She looked so peaceful, lying still and wired up to various machines. A single tear ran down my cheek as I walked over to her. Cas sat down on the opposite side of the room silently.

“Lis…” I whispered, sitting beside her

The doctors had propped her up, which was starting to freak me out. I was expecting her to wake up any second and yell at me for not calling her.

“I am so sorry about this. All of this. I should never have-” I stopped myself, knowing I would regret my words. I glanced over at Cas, who had a brooding yet concerned look on his face. I looked back at Lisa, but was unable to think of words. There was a knock on the glass at that point. I turned to see the Dr Morgan stood in the doorway, hand on the shoulder of a young boy. I slight smile lifted he corner of my mouth as I noticed him wearing the same Jacket at me, his hair styled the same.

“This is Ben” the doctor informed me. The boy looked at me, then at the floor.

“Hi Ben” I smiled, not sure how to act, or how much he knew.

“I think it’s best if you two spend some time together. There’s a small park down the road” The doctor informed me before walking off.

“I will leave you to it” Cas stated, getting up and walking out. He seemed a bit off.

“The doctor said you are my dad. Mum talked about you a lot” Ben said plainly, still standing in the doorway. I stood up and walked to him, then crouched to his level.

“How about we get some ice-cream?” I suggested. He shrugged, and we walked out the building.

          

“Just need to make a quick stop” I stated, walking to my car “Be weird if we wear the same coat” I chuckled, taking off my jacket and unbuttoning my shirt, having worn a grey t-shirt underneath. I threw on my other coat from the trunk of the car, then walked with Ben down the road.

“I’m sorry about what happened” I tried to console him, not sure if I was acting the right way in front of my own child.

_I have a child._

“It’s okay” Ben shrugged, sitting on a chair outside the ice cream parlour. He pulled a CD case out his pocket “We were listening to this on the way to school” he sighed, looking at the case.

“ACDC, good choice” I smiled, sitting opposite him.

“ACDC rules!” He grinned, closing both his hands into the horn gestures for ‘rock on’, before his smile dropped and he placed the CD on the table.

“Tell you what, how about we try and get away from what happened, have some food, go to the park, just chill?” I suggested.

“As long as I can have a bacon burger” He demanded, folding his arms.

“I think we’re gonna get along just fine” I laughed.

We spent the next hour bonding, discussing music, cars, and taste in women. I knew he was too young for the latter, but he continued to comment on girls his own age, and occasionally one or two pre-teens. I knew just by the way he acted that he was mine.

We were sat on a bench in the park when the doctor called me to tell me I had to bring Ben back.

“Looks like we gotta get you back kiddo”

                 

Cas was back, stood beside the reception desk next to Dr Morgan.

“What’s gonna happen to Ben?” I asked the doctor.

“He is staying with his aunty, she has a young daughter and is willing to look after Ben until, or if, his mother wakes up”

“What do you mean _if_?” I snapped.

“There’s a 50/50 chance of her waking up in her current state, Mr. Winchester”

“Is his aunty willing to adopt him if all else fails?”

“She knows what must be done, yes”

I felt suddenly really angry, protective.

“I could look after him” I suggested quite harshly.

“Dean” Cas was shocked.

“I can’t just let him be shipped around. I’m his father” I growled at Cas. He took a step back.

“I’m afraid we can’t let him stay with you when you have had no contact with him for so long. These things take time. If you wanted to adopt him, you would have to bond, then appeal in court” The doctor informed me “That’s only if all else fails”

“If, _when_ , she wakes up, will you call me? I want to be here. We have a son to think about”

“Dean, can we talk?” Cas interrupted, pulling me to one side.

“We can’t take him in, Dean. I’m not ready, and there’s no room in the apartment. Where would he sleep? The only place is the sofa, or our bed. _Our_ life is no place for an innocent child. Wouldn’t he find it weird? Wouldn’t _you_? Or even worse, it could be dangerous. Being a gay couple is hard enough, but being an angel and a hunter together is trouble. We can’t bring a child into this”

“Don’t you want kids?” Dean asked sternly.

“Not yet, and when we _are_ ready, I want a child who has nowhere to go, so we can help raise them the way they should be. I can’t take this child away from his family. Lisa’s sister is more than capable. The doctor said she already has a young daughter” Cas pleaded “But, if you want to be his father…” Cas sighed, and looked down at the floor before continuing “Dean, I can see the way you still look at her, the way you acted towards the news. I know you still care for her. If you want, you can stay here. Wait for her to wake up, or not wake up. And when that time comes, you can choose. You can start fresh with Lisa and raise Ben together in a perfect apple pie life, or you can come home to me”

I scanned Cas’s face. He was being sincere. 

“Cas, I don-”

“Just, stay here for now, okay? Bond with Ben if you want to, just call me, so I know you’re okay”

I didn’t know what I wanted, but nevertheless, I walked Cas to the car.

“I’m sorry, about all this” I sighed, getting Cas’s case for him.

“I’m going to get the next flight home. Call me later, if you want” He stated, his eyes clouded with unwept tears as he kissed my cheek. I placed my hand over the kiss, watching Cas walk away.


	10. Part 2 Chapter 1

I unlocked the front door, dragging my small suitcase behind me. The apartment was dark, empty, and I was alone. I turned on a lamp by the door, which lit up the cold, vacant room.

I tossed my keys onto the couch as I passed into the bedroom. I threw my case on the ottoman, then face planted the bed, exhausted and drained.

I rolled onto my side, gazing at the photo of Dean on my bedside table. With a heavy heart, I turned it glass-down, and rolled onto my back. I felt tears run down the sides of my face, my breathing jagged and my cheeks flushed.

Angrily, I pulled my shoes off and threw them against the bedroom door, which closed, leaving me in utter darkness.

Over the next couple of days I walked to work, ignoring everyone who tried to talk to me. There had been no contact from Dean. Not even a text message.

“Cas, you need to eat something” Charlie sat beside me at my desk with a plate of sandwiches.

“I’m not hungry” I said plainly, not taking my eyes off my hands, which were resting on the desk in front of me.

“Everyone is worried about you. _I’m_ worried about you”

“Don’t be”

“Cas, he will come back, you know that, right?”

I scoffed, and looked at Charlie.

“He loves you”

“He loves Lisa too, they have a child”

“A child he never met until you went to that hospital, and you two have been together for nearly a year. She was a fling 9 years ago. I doubt she would even take him back after that long” Charlie tried to comfort me, placing a hand on my upper back “Now please, eat something”

“I’m not hungry” I insisted again. Charlie sighed and walked off, leaving the food on my desk, which I pushed to one side.

Each night, when I got home from work, I cooked a single ready meal in the microwave and ate in bed. I didn’t watch TV, didn’t watch a film, didn’t cook a meal from scratch. None of those simple things interested me anymore. All the photos of Dean were face down, his side of the bed no longer his, as I sprawled out. It often got cold at night, the big bed and empty room turning into a refrigerator because of the wall that was about 90% glass.

I sighed, turning over in bed to face what was Dean’s side. A single tear rolled down my cheek, but I quickly rubbed it away and rolled again to face the windows. I scolded myself, then closed my eyes.

Weeks passed, and before I knew it, December was back around. The office was already covered in decorations, and posters advertising the Christmas party on the 22nd.  I sat at my desk, which had a flyer for the party resting on my keyboard. Angrily, I scrunched it up in one hand and threw it into the bin with force.

“You should come to the party” Charlie suggested, leaning on my cubicle wall.

“I’m fine” I growled.

“It’s been 2 months Cas, you need to-”

“Need to what Charlie? Let go of the one person I opened myself up to? The one person who made me truly happy, and feel like I belong?” I snapped, facing her, eyes bloodshot with a mix of anger, frustration and sadness “You cannot possibly understand” I muttered, facing my computer again.

“No, you’re right, I can’t. Because I have never had anyone like that. But I sure as hell wouldn’t push away the only people who care about me” She snapped back before walking off.

I instantly regretted shouting at her, she only wanted to help.

During my break, I dragged myself to the employee lounge and pouring myself a coffee.

“Hey Castiel” One of the younger employees walked in to make himself a drink.

“It’s Cas” I corrected him.

“Yeah, so, I know you had a thing with that Winchester guy, but, I heard it’s over, right?”

I winced, then looked at him. His green eyes echoed Dean’s, however there was a ring of brown around the outside of his pupils.

“Yes, you are correct”

“Well, the Christmas party is coming up, and I know it’s kinda lame, but I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?” The young lad ran his hand through his dark brown hair, which was combed back on top, the back and sides cut short. I blinked, shocked.

“It’s cool if you don’t, I mean, if you think it would be weird or whatever”

Charlie’s words were swimming around inside my head. I knew I needed to be social, but I just wasn’t sure how. I had spent almost a year of my life with Dean. There was no need for social interactions, because I had him.

“Sure” I finally answered. The lad looked stunned for a second.

“Oh, cool. Here’s my number, I’m Cole by the way” He smiled, a single dimple appearing beside his crooked grin as he handed me a piece of paper.

“I can come pick you up, or…?”

“I will meet you here” I stated, before walking out the room.

“Oh, okay, cool, see you-”

His voice trailed off as I walked towards my cubicle.

“I knew that kid was gay!” Charlie said in a hushed tone, leaning on my cubicle wall again.

“Don’t you have somewhere better to be?” I teased.

“Isn’t he too young for you? He’s like, early to mid 20’s”

“I’m only 35” I scowled, throwing my stirrer at her.

“Okay, okay, I’m going” She giggled, walking off.

That evening, I text Cole to make sure he had my number. We sent a few messages, asking about family, interests, the usual small talk. I found out he was a devout Christian, though his family threw him out for being gay. They thought God was punishing them. I had laughed to myself when I read that message. I actually fell to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time since I left the hospital 2 months ago.

Over the next few days leading up to the party, I cleaned up the apartment, got a haircut, and even cut my nails. There was something strangely exciting about being asked out. I see now why humans do it so often.

Myself and Cole had conversed every night. The night before the party, he had heavily suggested that after the party we should come back to my apartment, depending how the night went. I was nervous, scared, excited and strangely happy all at once. Cole had decided he wanted to pick me up, he had got a new car, a Mustang I believe, and wanted to show it off, which I agreed to.

Charlie had given me condoms as a joke, which she had tucked into my inside jacket pocket when I saw her earlier that day for advice, though I wasn’t sure why she had them in the first place. I paced the living room, fastening my tie as I waited anxiously for the door, checking my watch every few seconds. I ran my hand through my hair nervously. Just then, there was a knock at the door.

With a huge grin on my face, I swung the door open.

“Hey Cas”

“Dean”

Dean was stood in the doorway, hair a mess, a few days of stubble, his leather jacket hanging loose over his thinner body.

“What are you doing here?” I gasped, completely in shock as he walked into the flat, dragging his suitcase behind him.

“It’s nice to see you too” He chuckled, dumping his case. I started to panic as I closed the door.

“Going somewhere?” He asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Well, I was…” I started to stutter.

“God I missed you” He grinned, wrapping me in a bear hug.

“Dean, what happened?” I asked “You didn’t call, didn’t text…”

“Lisa’s state deteriorated. I visited her sister, and her daughter was really bonding with Ben. He was an awesome big brother… I couldn’t take him away, and Lisa wasn’t getting better. I overstayed my welcome. And truth be told, Cas, I missed you”

I stood there, in shock and awe, not sure what else to say. Dean sat on the back of the couch and pulled his shoes off, followed by his jacket.

“There was this sweet second gen Mustang luxury Ghia that passed me as I pulled up, you should have seen it” Dean tried to start a conversation.

Before I could respond, I got a text. I quickly checked it.

“Sorry I’m late, some jerk pulled into my space in their flashy Impala. Just trying to find somewhere to park, I’ll be there soon” I stared at the text blankly.

“Who is it?” Dean asked, standing up.

“It’s… it doesn’t matter” I assured him.

“You don’t seem happy to see me?”

“I am, it’s just, it has been 2 months Dean. I started to give up, I thought you chose her”

“Cas, I haven’t seen her for 9 years, I have been with you for one of those, do you really think she had any chance against you? I just didn’t want to be a deadbeat dad” He reassured me, his hands resting on my shoulders as he looked into my eyes. I looked into Deans bright green eyes and saw only love, and some inkling of regret.

“Dean, I have to tell-” I was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Bit late for selling cookies” Dean laughed, opening it.

“No, wai-” It was too late. Cole was stood in the doorway, phone in one hand, his other ready to knock again. He lowered it slowly, eyeing Dean up.

“Whatever you’re selling, we ain’t buying” Dean scowled.

“Cas, what’s going on?” Cole frowned. Dean turned to face me.

“Dean, you were gone-”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been doing this _Twink_?” He snapped, half laughing.

“How dare you!” Cole yelped defensively.

“Dean, it’s not like that, we were just going to the Christmas party” I tried to calm him.

“Not like that? So what were all those suggestive texts?” Cole seemed offended. Dean eyed me up, walked over, and reached into my jacket pocket.

“I knew it! I was away for 2 months, and you’re already banging male Miley Cyrus over here” He yelled, throwing the condoms from my pocket on the floor. Cole raised his eyebrow at them.

“Charlie gave me those as a joke, it wasn’t-”

“ _Charlie_ was in on this?”

“Dean, please, calm your voice, let’s talk about this”

“Cas, are we going to this party, or…?” Cole started. Dean spun on his heels and walked up to him.

“Oh, you’re going to a party alright” He threatened, pulling his fist back.

“Dean, no” I yelped, grabbing Dean’s arm. He shoved me away, and went towards Cole again. He stopped, turned, and looked at me. I was sat about a metre or so away, having been shoved to the floor, holding my chest in pain. I looked up at Dean.

“Cas” He gasped, walking towards me. I shuffled backwards, scared.

“Cas, I am so sorry” Dean knelt in front of me, eyes welling up.

“I’m just gonna-” Cole mumbled from the doorway.

“Get out!” Dean yelled at him. Cole quickly turned away and closed the door.

“Cas, please, I am so sorry, I was angry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” He pleaded, reaching out towards me. I eyed him up suspiciously, tears trickling from my eyes as I tried to fight them back.

“Cas…” Dean begged, a couple of tears escaping from his clouded eyes.

I shook my head, and clambered to my feet, before walking off to the bathroom and locking myself in. I sat and leaned against the door, head in my hands.

“Cas” Dean called, walking through the bedroom.

“Just leave me” I ordered him through the tears.

I heard Dean sigh, and sit on the other side of the door, leaning against it.

“I should have called, I know, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t know if you even wanted to talk to me. I thought you hated me after what happened”

“You have no idea what pain you caused me Dean” I snapped, wiping the tears from my face on my jacket sleeve, which I then took off.

“I know, and I will never forgive myself. If you want me to leave, I will. For good this time” I heard dean choke on his words.

“Last time you left, I didn’t eat for weeks. Charlie had to force feed me” I scolded him.

“I really am sorry, if I could take it back, I would” He promised.

“Leaving, or hurting me?”

“Everything I ever did wrong to you. Cas, in just 3 days’ time it is Christmas. But I don’t care. What I _do_ care about is that in 3 days’ time it will be exactly a year since I kissed you, since my heart first belonged to you, and since my whole world changed for the better”

I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. I couldn’t deny he had a way with words. I slowly climbed to my feet and unlocked the door. By the time I opened it, Dean had moved to sit on the bed.

“Please forgive me Cas, I love you more than life itself. I need you. I would die if you left”

I examined Dean’s expression, then slowly moved to sit beside him.

“You hurt me” I muttered, placing my hand on my chest where he had shoved me. Dean knelt on the floor and lifted my shirt to kiss where he had hurt me. He then kissed where my heart was several times, before looking up into my eyes.

“That was for every time I broke your heart” He stated softly, standing up. I looked up at him.

“It will take some time, but I know I can forgive you. As long as this never happens again”

“It won’t, I swear, it was an accident. I would never purposely lay a hand on you” He promised. I raised my eyebrow smugly.

“Well, not in a harmful or aggressive way” Dean corrected himself “Unless you wanted me to” He half smirked, winking. I rolled my eyes.

“I should probably apologise to Cole” I muttered, getting out my phone. Dean took it from me and tossed it gently across the floor.

“I have a better idea” he suggested, slowly laying me down onto the bed.

“Dean, I haven’t seen you for 2 months” I protested half-heartedly as he climbed on top of me.

“Exactly” he smirked cheekily, leaning down to kiss me.

The next morning, I woke up to find the bed beside me empty. I was usually the one to wake up first. I frowned and sat up, looking around. Maybe I had dreamt that Dean came home. Just then, I noticed there was music coming from the kitchen, and the smell of pancakes. Smiling, I climbed out of bed and threw on my dressing gown, before walking towards the kitchen.

“Cause the players gonna play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate-”

I could hear Dean singing in the kitchen as I crept up to the archway.

“Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake. Shake it off”

He was dancing around, flipping pancakes in the frying pan and singing along to Taylor Swift. I stood there, leaning against the wall, admiring my human. Dean spun around, and stopped dead when he saw me, no longer singing.

“How long have you been there?” He asked, eyes wide.

“Not long” I lied “I just walked in”

“Oh, okay. Awful song, don’t you think?” Dean stated, quickly turning the radio off and serving up the pancakes he made. I shrugged and sat on the counter, picking up my plate.

“So, Cas, I know you love Christmas, and I thought, maybe, we could get a tree today?” Dean suggested, sitting beside me. I looked at him with wide, excited eyes.

“And tinsel, and baubles, and an angel?”

“If you want” Dean chuckled, wiping syrup from my chin “I think it would be a good fresh start”

“I agree, I think it would be nice to distract us from recent events” I sighed, lowering my plate and looking at the pancakes.

“Let’s not dwell on it. Come on, eat up, and then join me in the shower. We can go shopping after”

I looked up at Dean’s cheeky grin as he set his plate aside, before walking out the room.

I grabbed my phone from the side and checked my messages. Cole had tried to call and text me multiple times. I sighed, and text Charlie.

“I take it you know what happened?”

“Yeah, Cole came to the party alone and I asked why. He said Dean threatened him too, though he wouldn’t tell anyone else that. He was terrified” Charlie text back almost instantly.

“It was an awful situation for all of us”

“I told you he would come back for you” Charlie replied, adding a heart shaped emoticon.

“You also told me to move on”

“Well, women aren’t good at communication. We say one thing and mean another. Don’t take all of our words so seriously, we can be wrong too, though we hate to admit it”

“Dean thinks I slept with Cole because of your damned condoms” I sent her a frowny face.

“Sorry about that, haha. At least he still loves you”

“Very true. Keep you updated. Thankyou” I closed the conversation and decided to explain to Cole what was going on. I told him about Dean staying at the hospital and not contacting me, and that he did not technically leave me. I also expressed my sincere apologies on both mine and Dean’s behalf.

I walked into the bedroom and placed my phone on the side before walking into the bathroom.

“Texting your boyfriend?” Dean teased, letting me into the shower.

“I was telling Cole what happened and that I’m sorry”

“Didn’t get that little fairy knocked up did you?” He laughed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Not only is that a physical impossibility, but we did not engage in sexual contact of any sort”

Dean looked at me, slightly surprised, but also pleased by my words.

“I’m glad. I’m not sure what I would do if you slept with someone else” He admitted.

“I feel the same” I agreed “It would hurt me immensely if you did something like that. And it would hurt more if I had done that to you”

“I’m glad” He admitted again, kissing my forehead softly.

I forgot what that felt like, to be kissed so softly and delicately. The passion that pours out of that one tiny bit of contact. With just one little kiss on my forehead, I felt calm and at peace. And I knew that Dean truly loved me.

_He is perfection._


	11. Part 2 Chapter 2

“Dean, this tree lights up!” I shouted to him, pressing the button on what was listed as a ‘4ft fibre optic tree.’

“We can buy lights” He chuckled, taking me by the hand and leading me away from the pretty colour changing tree.

“This is frustrating” He said after a while “Why do people do this every year?”

“Well, you buy the tree, and keep it. You do not need to buy a new one each year. Unless it is real”

“No way we are getting a real one, you gotta water it and feed it. It’s worse than a baby”

“And it’s hair falls out” I said seriously, looking at the green spikes on the floor.

“You…you mean the pines?” Dean stifled a laugh and looked at me, though I was not sure why when I was being sincere.

“How about this one?” I said, stroking the plastic pines of a 6ft tree.

“It’s taller than me” I sulked, standing next to it.

“Only by a couple of inches”

“A couple of inches mean everything” I protested. Dean started to laugh hysterically, doubling over and holding his knees.

“What?” I scowled.

“Cas, just…” He gasped for breath, standing up right again “Let’s just get this tree, I’ll pick you up if it means that much to you.” Smiling, I agreed, and Dean scooped up the long box under his arm, before transferring it to rest on his shoulder.

“Is that not heavy?”

“It’s lighter than you” He teased, walking ahead to find the isle for decorations.

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw my true form” I muttered under my breath, following behind.

“You can pick out the lights. Nothing too over the top” Dean promised, stopping. I walked along the isle, scanning each box for length, settings and colour of lights.

“Can we have little Christmas hats?” I called to Dean down the other end of the aisle.

“What did I just say” He called back. I huffed, and continued to look. I returned to dean carrying white fairy lights that could change settings.

“Perfect” He smiled, before walking to the next isle.

“Please let me choose these” I begged, looking at the rows of multi-coloured baubles.

“Fine” Dean rolled his eyes, placing the tree on the floor for a break.

Happily, I ran down the aisle and scooped up multiple decorations in each hand to look at.

“They’re all so pretty, how many can we get?”

“Whatever you like” The look on Dean’s face suggested he regretted saying that, but I paid no heed.

 I picked up a few red twisted-icicle shapes, a hand full of tiny gold and silver balls, several tartan bows with bells on, a couple of medium-sized silver baubles with white snowflakes on them, a tiny Santa, snowman and Christmas tree all with dangling legs, and a big silver glittery star.

“Okay Cas, I think you have enough” Dean called as I was about to pick up another bauble. I ran back to dean with my collection, and proudly placed them in my basket with the lights.

“What about tinsel?” I asked innocently.

“Isn’t there enough glitter?”

“It wouldn’t be a proper tree without tinsel” I pleaded. Dean rolled his eyes, and gestured for me to go and choose. I easily picked some red tinsel with tiny holly-leaf shapes in it. When dean wasn’t looking, I scooped some extra decorations into my basket, and covered it with the tinsel.

“It’s like a basket of gay” Dean commented jokingly.

“You mean gay as in happy, right?”

“Yeah, sure” He agreed, raising one eyebrow, before heading towards the food. Together we chose the Christmas dinner. A chicken for two, all the vegetables, mini sausages wrapped in bacon. Dean called them ‘pigs in blankets’, however I failed to see why dead pigs would need to stay warm. We also bought a couple of bottles of wine. Once we loaded up the car, we split up to do separate shopping for presents. After an hour or so, we met back up at the car and went home, the tree spreading from the back to the front of the car, resting on the top of the seats.

We struggled to get the tree back out, but after half an hour of laughing, moving seats, turning the box around inside the car, and falling over, we eventually got it, and carried everything up to the flat.

“Very last minute” I smiled, watching Dean put the tree together in the living room by the window.

“It’s only Christmas eve tomorrow. Last minute would be buying this on Christmas day”

I couldn’t argue with that point. Instead I helped make the tree look more tree-like. Dean helped me wrap the lights around it, followed by the tinsel, then the baubles.

“This really is a mix-match of everything” Dean chuckled, looking from the red twisted icicles to the giant snowflake pattern baubles, which he had in either hand.

“And it’s beautiful” I grinned, taking them from him and organising them in the remaining spaces.

“Now for the star” I added, reaching into the bag.

“Wait, I have something” Dean stopped me. He held up a cut-out photo of me with drawn on wings.

“What’s that?”

“The tree topper” He grinned, handing it to me. “Last year you promised I could put you on my tree”

I looked at the cut out, then up at dean, not sure how to respond.

“I’ll help you put yourself on the tree” Dean laughed.

“Fine” I huffed, putting the star to one side and turning to face the tree “I can reach, it’s only just taller than me”

“Tough” Dean chuckled, picking me up by the waist and holding me so my chest was level with the top of the tree.

“Dean, this is highly unnecessary” I commented, before placing the cut-out on top of the tree.

“I always wanted to do that” He smirked, pecking my flustered cheek.

I wrapped Dean’s presents in the bedroom while he wrapped mine in the living room. I knocked on the door to make sure he was finished, and walked out. My eyes lit up at the sight of several presents stacked under the tree neatly. Excited, I placed Dean’s presents beside them. Dean had wrapped my presents in blue paper, and I wrapped his in tartan, just so we didn’t mix them up. I believed it was the most logical solution, however Dean argued that he wanted both sets of paper on his presents, which would have defeated the objective.

That evening we cuddled up on the couch watching a TV series called Charmed, which Dean seemed to love. Though he scrolled past it several times before whining there was nothing else to watch.

I took up most of the sofa, resting my head on his chest while he ran his fingers through my hair. I do not see the fascination with that act, but it does feel nice.

“Dean” I said quietly, locking his fingers between mine and gazing at them. He grunted in response.

“Do you love me?”

There was a short silence, then I felt Dean move around beneath me and prop me up to look at him.

“You know I do” He said sternly. I played with his hand, not looking into his eyes.

“Is that why you came back to me?”

“I came back because I couldn’t imagine a world without you. I couldn’t just up and leave the life I have here. Leave you. You’re my angel. My Dad made that mistake with me and Sam. Besides, I don’t think any woman could satisfy me in the way you do, not anymore” He stated seriously, but chuckled towards the end. I half-smiled.

“Why the sudden worry?”

“I’m just glad you came back” I sighed, kissing his knuckles softly.

“So am I” He responded, getting comfy again.

We spent the entire day of Christmas Eve pre-preparing some food, filling each other’s Christmas stockings which we placed by the TV, and doing some last-minute decorating. I was sticking strings of beads around the kitchen counter, while Dean hung baubles from all the door handles. We then strung tinsel over the TV and the backs of the couches.

“It looks like Santa’s grotto in here” Dean laughed, standing in the living room with his hands on his hips, admiring the work.

“It’s perfect” I complimented, walking over and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He held me around the waist and squeezed me tight, before looking into my eyes.

“You’re perfect” He grinned cheekily before placing a kiss on the tip of my nose.

That night we attempted to go to bed early, however neither of us could sleep. We were both rather excited about our first Christmas as a couple and in our own place. Dean was more excited however, as he had never experienced a real Christmas since his mother died. I was determined to make this one the best.

 “Cas, wake up”

I blinked, the room blurry through my sleepy eyes. Groaning, I sat up.

“Dean?” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes. He was sat on the end of the bed in just his blue tartan pyjama pants, a tray on his lap.

“What is this?” I frowned, looking at the cooked breakfast and cup of coffee.

“I made you it” He said proudly, handing over the tray “And I got you these” He reached off the bed and lifted up a large bouquet of flowers, a mix of Pink and Red Carnations and Roses, with the occasional sprig of White Narcissus.

“Dean these are beautiful” I gasped, taking them and admiring his expensive taste.

“Well, it is our anniversary” He grinned, planting a soft kiss on my cheek. I placed the flowers on my bedside table and started on my breakfast. Dean fetched a vase for the flowers and set them up on the dresser. When he sat back on the bed, he moved the tray aside while I drank my coffee.

“I have a present for you” He smiled from ear to ear. I frowned, lowering my cup.

“All the gifts are under the tree”

“Not this one, this is an anniversary present”

“I didn’t get you one” I apologised, placing my cup on the bedside table.

“No, it’s fine, this is only small. I promise” Dean shrugged, reaching behind him. He pulled out a tiny parcel wrapped in red paper with a silver bow tied around it, and placed it in my hand. I carefully and suspiciously unwrapped it, to reveal a tiny black box.

“Dean, I don’t-” I started, confused. He took the box and opened it towards me. Inside was a silver band, with a single tiny diamond embedded into it.

“Castiel, this past year with you has been a rollercoaster of emotions and new experiences. If someone had told me back then that in a years’ time I would be this happy with a dude, I would have thought them mad. But you’ve taught me that it isn’t about who we are on the outside, the walls and faces we uphold and portray to others, it’s about who we are inside, beneath all our mushy parts, in our soul. And my soul is crying out for yours. I feel drawn to you, I admire you, and I can’t help but be in love with you. Call me crazy, but I can’t imagine being with anyone else, or anywhere else, other than right here, with you. Bed hair and all. So, today, on the year anniversary of when I first kissed you and those sparks went flying, I ask you, Cas… Will you marry me?”

I blinked, eyes fixed on the ring as he took it out the box. On the inside of the ring I noticed angel wings engraved into it, with the protection symbol that Dean has as a tattoo in between each wing. Dean held the ring out to me, expectantly. I had no idea what to do.

“Cas, you kinda need to say something” Dean seemed worried. I looked up into his eyes, my own filling with tears as a smile spread across my face.

“I will”


	12. Part 2 Chapter 3

We sat on the couch with our stockings, Dean constantly looking at the ring on my finger.

“You can open your stocking presents first” I suggested. Excitedly, he pulled out the first gift. All the stocking presents were wrapped in Batman paper, which was Dean’s idea. He tore off the paper to reveal a slingshot. Instantly, he scrunched up the paper and flung it across the room.

“I have a feeling I will regret buying you that” I chuckled, watching him tear through the other small gifts. He had chocolates, Batman socks, new leather fingerless gloves, an AC/DC coaster, and an AC/DC mug.

“Thanks” Dean grinned, wrapping his arms around me tight, before urging me to open my stocking.

The presents were roughly wrapped, but what more could I expect from my Dean? At least he tries.

Inside my stocking, dean had got me socks with days of the weeks on, which I guess is because he always say I often have ‘OCD’ about most things, though I am not sure what he means by that. He also got me a mixed variety bag of candy, some new ear phones, and a mixed tape.

“I put those Elvis songs on there, that you showed me, plus some good music. And country too, just in case you like that stuff”

“Thank you” I smiled, hugging him thankfully and placing a kiss on his neck. He shuddered slightly.

“Let’s open these bad boys up” He said quickly, jumping to his feet and walking to the tree. I followed, placing all the stocking presents on the coffee table.

“Here” He grinned, handing me a large parcel. I unwrapped it, tossing the paper ball at Dean who kicked it to the side, before sitting down.

“You got me a teddy?”

“Yeah but look” He smiled, taking it out the box with both hands “It has angel wings. And I bought this tiny blue tie for it to wear” He held up a blue child’s tie that was tucked into the side of the box. The bear must have been over a foot long, with beige fur and huge button eyes.

“Is that supposed to be me?” I laughed, putting the tie on it.

“Do you like it?”

“It is wonderful” I smiled, sitting the bear beside me. I passed Dean an equally large gift, which he tore into instantly.

“An air-soft gun, hell yeah!” He grinned, opening the plastic brief case and spilling the contents on the floor “I don’t need the goggles, I think I know how to use a gun” He snorted, pushing the safety gear to one side and admiring the MK18.

 “As long as you don’t shoot me” I smiled, admiring his excitement.

“No promises” He joked, aiming at me with one eye closed, luckily the gun wasn’t loaded. After a few seconds, he put the toy down and handed me another parcel.  We opened the rest from each other. I had got Dean various t-shirts and hoodies of his favourite bands, a chuck Norris t-shirt, a couple of music tapes, a mug saying ‘handsome devil’, a teddy monkey with Velcro hands, some porn magazines- both heterosexual, gay and lesbian, a crystal whisky glass with the Impala engraved into it, and a bottle of expensive whisky aged 35 years.

“35 years, just the way I like it” He smirked, eyeing me up and biting his lip seductively.

Dean had got me a couple of tartan shirts to match his style, some new animal pattern pyjamas- this time they were sheep, a knitted monkey hat with tassels on either side, a few sex toys- including furry handcuffs and a vibrator, ‘cherry pie’ flavour lube, a bottle of expensive wine, a wine glass with ‘my angel’ printed on it- which was clearly meant for a female, a few pairs of animal socks with 3D ears, and coupons for chores or tasks.

“Dean…” I frowned, looking at all the sexual items.

“Seems like we had the same ideas” He grinned, holding up his porn magazines before flicking through the lesbian ones.

“What even is this?” I held up a string of beads. Dean looked at me over the top of the magazine, I could see the corners of his eyes creasing as he hid a smile.

“Check your karma sutra book I got you for your birthday”

“You already made me wear those cursed angel wings while…” I coughed “I am not sure I want to know what other plans you have in mind” I finished, blushing.

“Oh come on, you know you love it” He teased, rummaging through the various gifts.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Dean looked around, panicked, and pushed all the sex toys into a pile with his porn.

“Hide these Cas” He ordered, jumping to his feet to answer the door.

“Happy Christmas!”

“Sam, Jess, what are you doing here?” I heard Dean yelp. I quickly shoved the gifts under the bed and pulled on some jeans, then threw on one of my new tartan shirts from Dean, before sliding out into the living room.

“Hey Cas” Sam waved as he entered.

“I’m gonna get dressed” Dean noted, running into the bedroom.

“Cas, this is Jessica. I don’t think you met” Sam smiled proudly, gesturing to the petit woman by his side. She had light blonde hair in curls pulled over one shoulder, and a red tartan bow clipped on the opposite side to match her tartan dress.

“Pleased to meet you Jessica, finally” I smiled politely, looking her over “Very Christmassy”

She had a large red gift bag in her hand, which she slid down to her elbow to shake my hand.

“Just call me Jess, nice to finally meet the one who somehow snatched up Dean from his rebellious ways” She joked, looking at Dean as he walked out of the bedroom, wearing his new Chuck Norris shirt and ruffling his hair with one hand. I sighed, admiring him in all his perfection.

“Thanks” Dean huffed, then smiled as he hugged Jess. Sam then wrapped him in a bear hug, patting his back before releasing him.

“So what brings you all the way up here? Must have taken you what, 10 hours?”

“About 25 if you count all the stops, sleep, and visiting friends and relatives on the way” Jess noted.

“We thought we would come round and crash your Christmas” Sam joked “No, we actually brought you two some presents”

“You didn’t have to” Dean raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

“We are heading all over anyway to visit all our loved ones” Jess informed him, holding out the red gift bag to Dean.

“Thank you” I smiled, watching Dean sit on the back of the couch and rummage through the bag. He pulled out two aprons and handed me one.

“What’s this?” He scowled, opening his out. Sam stifled a laugh as Dean held the ‘sexy Mrs. Clause’ apron against his chest “Cool, I have tits” He winked at me. Cautiously, I unfolded my apron to reveal a muscular body with an open Santa coat.

“Hey, I want that one” Dean sulked “You can be the sexy wife”

“You already have this body, you don’t need an apron to match” I huffed playfully.

“We just thought they would be fun” Sam laughed as Dean swapped aprons with me.

“Thanks” Dean grinned, putting the apron down and walking to the tree “We actually got you something. We were gonna post it, but we don’t have to now”

Sam and Jess sat down on the couch as Dean carried over an envelope. Sam turned over the envelope in his hands.

“You got us a card?”

“Open it” Dean urged, sitting on the coffee table. Sam tore open the envelope and turned it upside down. Instead of a card, out feel a piece of paper. Sam scanned it, and his jaw fell slack.

“You got us a holiday?”

“What else could I get my baby brother who has everything?” Dean smirked as Sam clasped him into another bear hug, still half-sitting.

“Baby, we’re going to Turkey!” Jess squealed, looking at the ticket and then at Sam excitedly. She quickly pulled Dean into a tight hug, then myself.

“Thanks guys” Sam smiled “Now I feel bad for getting you aprons”

“It’s no big deal, I love the aprons. Besides, we don’t need a holiday. We’re happy here” Dean reassured him.

“And you travelled all this way, plus the same for Dean’s birthday” I added.

“Thank you” Jess said again.

“Things have been tough at the firm in all honesty, a holiday is just what we needed” Sam added.

“Handsome and Psychic” I mused, placing my hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Would anyone like a drink?” Dean offered. I made everyone coffee, and we sat on the couches, catching up. Jess, Sam and Dean sat on the big couch facing the TV, while I sat on the single chair next to Dean.

“Wait, so you stayed with Lisa?” Sam frowned.

“I stayed in the hospital most of the time, yeah. But I realised my place was here” Dean sighed.

“How did you react to him coming home?” Jess asked me seriously. I looked over at Dean, who looked at me sympathetically, before looking at the floor.

“I was actually heading out on a date… It was rather awkward. But Dean stepped up and defended our love in front of the new guy” I faked a smile.

“Sounds romantic” Sam raised an eyebrow “That’s not the Dean I know” He teased, nudging Dean in the ribs playfully.

“A lot has changed” Dean agreed, placing his empty mug on the table.

There was an awkwardly silent pause for a while, I twiddled my ring around my finger, gasped, and looked over at Dean. He looked at my hand, then smiled, turning to Sam.

“Actually, we have some news”

“Yeah?” Sam frowned but smiled at the same time, seemingly suspicious.

“Well today is our one year anniversary, so, this morning I made Cas breakfast and got him flowers…” Dean was blushing. I had never seen him like this, and clearly Sam hadn’t, as he looked very concerned for his brother. Dean eventually composed himself and sat on the arm of my chair, taking hold of my hand. “I proposed to him” he finally smiled. Sam blinked, clearly taken aback.

“Wait, so, you two are engaged?” Sam seemed confused.

“Yes” I responded, a huge grin on my face.

“Oh, woah, dude, congrats” Sam gawped, standing to hug Dean again, then shaking my hand.

“This is just way too much hugging” He grumbled when Sam backed off.

“Congratulations” Jess smiled at us both. I looked up at dean, his perfect smile causing slight dimples in his cheeks, the freckles of his nose creasing up with his clear happiness. _Perfect_.

We conversed for about 4 hours, had some snacks and celebratory drinks, before Sam stood up.

“We better head off, Bobby and Helen are expecting us next” He informed us.

“Yeah it will take about 24 hours. If we stay in a motel half way for a rest and a nap, we will be there in time for dinner tomorrow night” Jess suggested to Sam, standing and grabbing her coat.

“Sounds like a plan” He smiled, kissing her forehead tenderly. Dean shuffled awkwardly, then stood to show them out.

“Say hey to everyone from us, and give Bobby this” Dean handed Sam an envelope, which we had placed a few hundred bucks in for Bobby, Helen and Jo to get presents for themselves. We all hugged each other goodbye, said thanks again for the gifts, and then watched as Sam and Jess walked off down the hall.

 “Hand me the wooden spoon” I called to Dean. He turned on the spot, Santa apron swaying, and tossed a spoon towards me.

“Thanks” I smiled, stirring the sauce I had on the hob “How is the chicken?”

Dean crouched down and opened the oven slightly, the room flooding with the beautiful smell of perfectly cooked chicken.

“It’s done. Want me to grab the dishes?”

“Yeah”

Dean carried plates and glasses through to the living room and set up the coffee table, his whisky glass beside my wine glass, our alcoholic Christmas presents behind them. He ran back in, and helped to carry bowls of food through to the living room. Lastly, I carried through the chicken and the sauce. We had to use the ottoman from our bedroom for some of the bowls of vegetables, as there was far too much food to fit on the table. Hungrily, Dean helped himself to the chicken, and scooped up various portions of vegetables, before I had even sat down. Chuckling, I loaded my plate too, while Dean poured himself a tumbler of whisky and me a glass of wine.

“Can we say grace?” I asked innocently. Dean looked at me with a mixture of shock and horror.

“Cas, you know I’m not really…” he started, shuffling uncomfortably. After a pause, he sighed, and locked his hands together “So be it, but I’m not saying anything”

“Thank you” I smiled, locking my hands together on the table and looking up at the ceiling.

“My Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen”

I heard Dean snicker as I said ‘my father’ instead of ‘our father’, and opened my eyes before I shot him daggers, scowling.

“I’m sorry” He stifled his laugh with his fist “It’s just, you are _the_ most unholy Angel in history, but you’re praying to your father”

“I think you’ll find that actually, my brother Lucifer was” I said sternly.

“I bet even _he_ didn’t have gay angel sex with a hunter, especially before marriage”

“You have me there” I chuckled, my scowl softening before I kissed Deans cheek tenderly, for a few seconds, before looking into his eyes “Now that’s how you rebel” I grinned “Look at me now dad” I smirked, looking up at the ceiling.

“Luci, take notes” Dean chuckled, looking down at the ground as if trying to talk to Lucifer, before looking up and planting a hard kiss on my lips. He pulled away slowly, his eyes scanning my face. Smiling, I picked up a Christmas cracker, which Dean pulled with me.

We dug into our dinner, pink Christmas hats perched wonkily on our heads, tiny plastic toys beside our glasses of alcohol.

“This is the best Christmas” Dean smiled wholeheartedly, looking into my eyes as he took a swig of his whisky, before filling the glass again “And this is the best whisky”

“I’m glad you like it. This wine is heavenly”

“I see what you did there” Dean chuckled, filling my wine glass before I took a sip.

Once we finished most of the food, we decided we should bring out the whisky cake. We had agreed not to get a traditional Christmas cake. In Dean’s words _‘What kind of cake has fruit in it? No one wants fruit to help them get fat’._ I must admit, I agreed with him.

Exhausted and stuffed with food, we curled up on the sofa, my head on Dean’s chest as we watched whatever soppy Christmas film was on TV. 

“Dean” I whispered in a soft tone.

“Yeah?” He whispered equally as soft.

“Will I be a Winchester, or you a Novak?” I looked up into Dean’s eyes, which widened as he stared straight ahead, his brain clearly in a frenzy.

“…Shit”

Smirking at his reaction, I settled back down on his chest.

“I will be a Winchester” I agreed without Dean having said anything “But you can wear the dress” I teased, watching for his reaction.

“I dislike you sometimes, you know that Cas?”

“No you don’t, I’m adorable” I bragged, watching the TV. Dean huffed and watched the TV with me. I knew I had changed a lot since I met Dean. I wasn’t quite the awkward mess I was before. Sure, I still hates talking to people I didn’t know, and I would about die if I had to be in a room with more than 5 people, but I was more casual than I had once been. I saw a similar change in Dean too. He was less defensive around me, more his true self than he used to be. No more walls. I sighed in content.

“Are you okay?” Dean frowned, looking at me.

“Yeah, I was just sighing”

“Are you happy?”

“Of course I am, that is an imprudent question” I scowled, looking up into Dean’s forest green eyes.

“I am just worried. After everything that happened”

“I promised to marry you, remember? I would not have done that if I didn’t want to be with you”

“I guess” Dean shrugged, still looking a little uneasy.

“What’s on your mind?” I pushed.

“I’m just worried about a wedding… It could be dangerous”

“Not with my family there” I half-chuckled “No one would dare ruin it”

“Would they even approve?”

“All of my father’s creations are equal in his eyes, even gay couples. Besides, I told you, I don’t have a gender” I assured him, stroking my hand on his leg comfortingly.

“I know, I know. Other people just see us as a gay couple” He winced, remembering the violent attack that happened not too long ago. I stroked his leg soothingly, sitting up and laying kisses softly on his shoulder, moving my hand up to his chest to where his heart is.

“I just see us as _us_ ” I smiled softly. He laid his hand gently on my cheek and kissed my forehead tenderly, then caressed my cheek with his thumb as he gazed into my eyes.

“I love you” He whispered softly, placing his forehead against mine with his eyes closed.

“I love you more” I replied, so quiet I wasn't sure he heard me. 


	13. Part 2 Chapter 4

We walked into work after our Christmas break, holding hands and smiling. Some people frowned as they noticed the odd difference in Dean’s mood. As soon as Dean sat at his desk, me stood by his side, Charlie ran over.

“Sam told me, Sam told me!” She squealed, skidding into the cubicle and grabbing my hand to look at the ring “Oooo shiny”.

“It’s awesome on the inside” I chuckled, slipping it off to show her the engravings. A few colleagues looked over curiously, whispering amongst themselves. Some of the men from the office walked past, laughing amongst themselves, whispering homophobic remarks. We ignored them, but I saw dean tense up from the corner of my eye.

“Ignore them Dean, they didn’t attack you” Charlie assured him.

“You know who did?” Dean growled, jumping to his feet.

“The police are looking, they have security tapes…” Charlie clearly regretted saying anything. And I wished she hadn’t. I saw Dean’s vein in his forehead bulge, his eyes bloodshot and his face flustered.

“Dean, calm down, it’s best the police arrest them” I said quietly.

“If I find out who they are, I’m going to tear them limb from limb” Dean snapped. I stepped back, slightly afraid of my human. He quickly realised this, and sat down, steadying his breathing.

“Dean, the police will get them” Charlie assured him, patting his shoulder.

“If they don’t...” Dean threatened to no one in particular. Charlie walked off back to her cubicle.

“How about tonight we watch a film and have ice cream?” I suggested, massaging Dean’s shoulders.

“It best be cookie dough” He grumbled.

“I promise”

We finished work around 5pm and drove straight home, listening to some of Dean’s new tapes. I let Dean wait at home while I went to get the ice cream I promised, plus a few more things we needed. I walked out the store and down the road. Hearing footsteps behind me, I spun around. A fist connected with my jaw, sending me spinning to the concrete, my bag of shopping spilling out across the street. No one else was around, and even if they were, who would help me?

“We warned your fag boyfriend. Guess you two didn’t get the message?” A hooded figure snarled.

_These are the men that attacked Dean. My Dean._

I gritted my teeth together, my jaw clicking back into place, and climbed to my feet. The assailant pulled his fist back, the two men behind him, one holding a baseball bat, the other a glass bottle, getting into a fighting stance.

“You are going to regret laying your hands on me” I snarled, eyes narrowed.

“You are going to regret the day you defied Gods law” The man with the bottle snapped.

“I highly doubt that” I grinned manically, my eyes glowing a bright blue, light pouring out towards my attackers. The one with the bat screamed, the other two simply took a step back.

“He’s some kinda freak!” One yelped, walking backwards.

“You’re going to regret hurting my human” I laughed, opening my arms wide as I sent out a shockwave of light directed towards the assailants. Their screams of pain pleased me as the light engulfed them. Once it passed, the 3 men lay sobbing, clutching their eyes as blood trickled down their faces.

“I can’t see! What did you do? I’ll kill ya!” The leader shouted, attempting to clamber to his feet.

“I would like to see you try” I challenged, pushing him back over with the heel of my foot before walking off in the other direction, gathering my shopping as I did so.

I walked into the flat and put the food away casually, like nothing even happened. I didn’t want Dean to know what I did. He wanted to hurt the men. And Dean thought I was mostly human now. He had no idea of the powers I possessed, and I was scared that if I told him, he would leave.

“What happened to your face?” He frowned, picking up a cloth and dampening it under the tap.

“Oh, I tripped on the curb, shopping flew everywhere” I half-laughed, throwing a semi-squashed apple in the bin. Dean chuckled and dabbed at the blood in the corners of my mouth with the cloth.

“I should have gone with you” He noted.

“I’m fine, I just tripped” I assured him, my heart beat fluctuating. I hated lying to Dean.

“Okay” He kissed my jaw softly, trying not to hurt me.

Late that night, on the breaking news, there was a story covering the 3 men.

“Witnesses say there was a bright light before these men were found blind. The men claim that a demon blinded the, however Police speculate that a blowtorch or similar weapon was used, due to the extent of the damage. Police have also stated that these men have been aggressors in recent homophobic attacks. They were found carrying dangerous weapons, and had one individual had bloodied fists, suggested they had recently been in a fight. Was this the gay community getting their revenge, or were they just victim to a random vicious attack?” The woman reported, standing in front of the building while police cordoned off the area.

“That’s the men who attacked me” Dean snapped, jumping to his feet. I sat up and looked at him as he turned to volume up, watching the reporter go into more detail.

“I guess Karma got them?”

“I wish it had been me” Dean snarled at the TV.

“I know, but you would be arrested, and I can’t bear to be without you again” I uttered, standing behind Dean and holding him around the middle in a tight embrace.

“I guess. But if they don’t go in, I’m gonna take them down”

“I know” I hushed him, running my fingers through his hair as I rested my face on his shoulder.

We went to bed late that night, Dean still agitated from the day’s events. I cuddled into his back, my nose pressed against the back of his neck.

“Why am I the little spoon?” He huffed “I’m not the woman”

“Neither am I” I scowled. Dean rolled over to face me, stroking his hand down my bruised face cautiously, his eyes scanning mine.

“Are you sure you just fell?” He whispered. I winced as his hand traced my jaw.

“Yeah, my jaw hit the edge of the curb. It looks worse than it is. I will be fine” I forced a smile.

“Can I at least put some ice on it? You have a nasty bruise”

“Tomorrow, but ice now would wake me up”

“I don’t mind you being awake” Dean smirked cheekily, tracing his fingers down my neck and shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m exhausted” I sighed, rolling over so Dean could be the big spoon.

“You’re always tired lately” He muttered under his breath. I pretended not to hear him, but inside I felt my heart tear a little.

_Is that all he wants from me?_

I tried not to dwell on it a work the following day.

“Dean, did you do this?” Charlie had walked over to his work cubicle with a print-out of the news report, eyes wide in horror.

“No” He scoffed “If I had hold of them, I would do worse than blow-torch their eyes out”

“Thank Christ” She sighed, then looked over at me “Sorry”

“Words don’t bother me anymore. I had to get over Dean shouting my father’s name in bed”

“I really didn’t need to know that Cas” She grimaced, before walking off as the manager strolled past us, glaring at her. Dean chuckled to himself at my comment, then got to work on whatever spreadsheets he had been sent today.

A message from Dean’s name appeared in my work mailbox on my screen.

“Hey, I just discovered we can IM using work computers”

Smiling to myself, I thought about what to type. Just then, Dean sent another message.

“I have about a hundred unread IM’s from you from last year…”

Blushing, I recalled messaging Dean on numerous occasions, trying to start a conversation. That was before he realised I liked him of course. I quickly replied.

“Please ignore them. That was before I had the courage to talk to you properly”

“I can tell, these are adorable”

He then continued to quote a few of the messages, such as asking about the weather, about sports, family, friends, and any social events happening.

“I can’t believe I never checked these” I heard Dean chuckle out loud, before typing me a message.

“How about you send me some nice messages about what you’ll do to me later ;)”

Blushing, I quickly replied to the message.

“This is a work computer Dean, we could get caught. Besides, I’m not sure what I would type”

“What would you do if I asked you to get into bed with me?”

“Go to sleep?”

I heard Dean sigh, clearly frustrated, before typing a response.

“How about if I pulled you on top of me?”

“Can I wear my sheep pyjamas?”

I saw the loading sign to represent that Dean was typing, but it vanished. This happened several times, before a message finally came through.

“Never mind, forget it”

I saw the manager walk past my cubicle and over to Dean. Watching curiously, I noted that he asked Dean to follow him, and the head of our department, Alan, walked over to accompany them.

It must have been at least a couple of hours before Dean came back, looking dishevelled. I quickly walked over to him and sat on his desk to talk.

“What happened?”

“They said the police were here, asking where I was when the men got killed”

“And…?”

“The police checked my phone, saw I was on the phone to Sam around the time the guys were attacked. So they called Sam, who confirmed I was at home. They said you were in the shop around the corner, and surveillance shows that you left before the ‘incident’ as they put it”

“Did they ask about me?” I said, panic clearly resonating in my voice.

“They were going to question you, but I asked how you would possibly have a blow torch on you, especially with your hands full of shopping. They analysed the footage in front of me on their laptop, agreed that I was right, and said they had other leads to follow, like the mechanic down the road. Apparently his son is gay, he works here, with us”

“Cole” I gasped under my breath.

“Oh, god, Cas. You nearly fucked a murderer!”

I opened my mouth to argue, but closed it, not wanting to start a scene in work.

“They are gonna question him about what happened. Since his father is a mechanic and all, he would have access to a blow torch I’m guessing”

I shook my head in shock, not quite sure how to react.

_An innocent man could go to jail for something I did…_

“I at least have to thank him, but them punch him for not only taking my man, but taking my revenge away from me with those guys” Dean laughed, only half joking.

“Just leave it be, Dean” I pleaded, holding his arm. He looked down into my eyes and sighed.

“Fine. For you”


	14. Part 2 Chapter 5

“How about this place?” Charlie asked, holding up a magazine with a picture of a manor house.

“We just want something small” I sighed, exhausted. We had spent the entire day looking through books, magazines, and websites at places for me and Dean to get married.

It was May, and Dean was in Stanford for Sam’s 27th Birthday. Over the past few months, I slowly forgot about Cole. He didn’t go to jail, as there was no evidence to back up theories, however he did lose his job. He worked at the garage with his dad now, which I guess isn’t half bad.

I would have gone with Dean to Sam’s birthday, but I had spent the past 2 months trying to find a venue which would allow a gay couple. I really wanted a church, but of course, no reverend would allow us in one, let alone be married.

“You said you want something small, right?”

“Yes”

“How about the court house? Or the café you had your first date”

I looked up at Charlie, who was flicking through a book.

“You are wonderful” I exclaimed, grabbing her face and kissing her forehead.

“I am? Why?”

I threw on my coat, ignoring her question as I grabbed my phone and wallet.

“I’ll be back soon” With that, I left.

I ran to the coffee shop where we first had coffee together, then later had a date outside. Entering, I located the manager, Julia, and waited until she was free.

“Excuse me?”

“Hey” She smiled, recognising me from the hundreds of times I brought pie from her.

“Hi Julia, I’m trying to find somewhere to get married. This is where me and Dean have been coming for the past year and a half, and we had our first date here. Am I able to have a wedding here?”

“That would be awesome” She squealed, hugging me tight. I shifted uncomfortably.

“You will need someone to marry you, but I would be more than happy to lend you this place for a few hours. You will only have to pay for catering, no extra charges”

“You’re a life saver” I grinned excitedly.

“Just let me know the date and time and I’ll book it. I can use the posh table cloths and the nice menus, but any other decorations you will have to get. However, I will be willing to set them up if you bring them here beforehand”

“Sounds wonderful” I agreed, writing a note in my phone before turning to walk off.

“Brilliant, see you soon” She waved me out the door.

“I got the café” I informed Charlie, walking back into the flat and taking my shoes off.

“Cool. Now you need to sort out decorations and suits” She noted, ticking the checklist.

Over the next two days, Charlie stayed on the couch, helping me each day to plan the wedding. On the second day, I knew Dean was coming home late, so we decided to have a look in wedding shops.

Upon entering, I was overwhelmed by hundreds of dresses and suits, several women browsing.

“Hi there, can I help you pick your dream gown?” One of the women working at the shop smiled at Charlie, clearly forcing a higher pitched voice to make her seem happy. Charlie snorted, laughing.

“Not for me. He is marrying the guy of his dreams” Charlie smirked, egging the woman on. The woman, whose badge said Bridget, looked me over depreciatively.

“I see”

“I just need to see the suits” I informed her. Charlie stayed near the door while the woman led me to the rear of the shop, where the suits were. Once I picked up a black suit set, I turned to Birdget.

“I really want a green tie for my partner. To match his eyes”

“That is so sweet” A nearby bride cooed, looking at me as she held several dresses in her arms.

Bridget led me to a shelf of around 30 different coloured patterned ties.

_This is going to be harder than I thought._

I took a few pictures, grabbed my self a black tie, and turned to face the front of the shop. Charlie was holding different coloured formal dresses in front of herself and looking in a full-length mirror. I walked over to her quietly.

“What are you doing?”

Charlie jumped, and quickly hung the dresses back on the rail.

“Don’t do that” She snapped, having almost jumped out her skin.

“Charlie, I was thinking, since there is no bride at this wedding, would you be my maid of honour? I think there should be at least _one_ woman dressed like a princess”

Charlie contemplated for a minute, unsure of whether I was serious or not.

“Yeah, sure. I can be a princess” She smiled. I let Charlie pick out her own dress, which only took around 10 minutes as she had already been looking.

“I like this one” She suggested, holding up a short dark pinkish-orange dress, not quite knee length. The bodice had horizontal strips of the fabric wrapping around, with a frilly belt that crossed at the front and ran down to the hem in opposite directions. The top was plain, with a single cross-shoulder strap going from under the left arm and over the right shoulder.

We spent another half an hour in the shop while Charlie picked out shoes and jewellery. She eventually settled on gold open-toe heels with a gold bow on top, and long gold dangling earrings with beads on to match. I carried my plain black suit, black tie, and Charlie’s outfit to the till to pay.

“That’ll be six hundred and forty nine dollars”

“For a suit and a dress?” I yelped.

“Here” Charlie placed six hundred on the counter “For my stuff, and half his suit”

“I can’t accept that” I objected, sliding it back in her direction.

“Then at least let me pay for my own dress” She smiled, sliding 500 back towards the woman behind the desk “For the dress, earrings, and shoes”

“I can’t win, can I?” I sighed. Charlie shook her head, and I emptied my wallet to make up the rest.

We left with our outfits in special white bags, which cost an extra $10 on top, though the woman insisted they were necessary. All I could see was white bin bags with a coat hanger on the top.

Charlie left to go back to her flat with the outfit, and I headed home. Opening the door, I was met by Dean holding a bunch of roses and a bottle of wine.

“Dean!” I gasped, throwing the suit bag onto the sofa and flinging myself into his arms.

“Hey” He laughed, holding me.

“You’re early”

“Yeah, I missed you” He looked down into my eyes.

“I missed you more” After a few seconds, I gasped, and ran to the coffee table covered in wedding plans, sorting through the paper.

“You found somewhere?”

“Sort of, I need to make a few calls… when do you want to get married?”

“That’s a lot of pressure. I have no idea” Dean admitted, sitting on the couch.

“We have been waiting 6 months”

“I know, I know…” Dean sighed, twisting his fingers nervously.

“Do you still want to be married?” I asked seriously, sitting beside him and trying to look in his eyes.

“Of course I do” He snapped, suddenly looking at me “I’m just nervous”

“How about we get married in June? It’s a month before my birthday, and we don’t have any other plans that month” I suggested coolly.

“That’s less than a month away, have you planned that much already?”

“I have been planning since you asked me” I shrugged.

“Okay, okay. If that’s what you want. But, I’ve gotta have a Batchelor party” He agreed. I looked Dean over suspiciously, before he refuted my concerns. “Don’t worry, no strip clubs”

“Okay” I sighed in agreement “I’ll let the venue know”

I walked off to call Julia, and one of my brothers.

“Hey Julia”

“Oh, hi Cas, any news?”

“Yeah, we really want to get married next month”

“I have the 10th June free?”

“Sounds perfect”

“I am so excited! Just bring some decorations over in the week leading up. This is going to be amazing for business too!”

“I’m glad. Let’s say around 12 noon?” I chuckled at her excitement.

“Perfect. See you soon” She chirped before hanging up. I put my phone down and closed my eyes, focusing on getting a message through to one of my brothers telepathically.

“Jegudiel, I need a favour. I am getting married. I really want a religious ceremony so I can share it with the whole family. I have a venue. June 10th at noon”

After a short while, I got a response.

“I can do that, it will be wonderful. I am currently a few states out hosting an anti-drug campaign, but I will be free by then. Give me all the details”

After I let him know the location and details, Dean walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

“Talking on your angel-radar again?”

“I have a reverend for our wedding”

“An angel reverend?” Dean laughed “That’s just gold”

I turned and smiled at Dean, admiring his humour.

“Wait” He paused “Can they hear us having sex?”

“No. I mean, I don’t think so. I usually have to focus to talk to my family. I can’t focus around you”

“Good” Dean grinned cheekily, wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close “So they can’t hear this?” He pressed his lips hard against mine, then moved the delicately down my neck to my shoulder, placing soft kisses.

“Dean” I groaned through my half-open mouth. I couldn’t object. I didn’t want to. There was no way on heaven or earth I could ever resist the electric pull of this human.


	15. Part 2 Chapter 6

Myself, Sam, my siblings Gabriel, Balthazar, Naomi, Hannah, Samandriel, and the Prophet Chuck Shurley with his body guard Raphael, all boarded the plane from Oregon to Los Angeles. It was only a 2 hour flight, but with that many of my siblings, it felt like 20 hours. Gabriel was playing pranks on everyone on the plane, occasionally being pushed by Raphael when he tried to prank Chuck. Naomi and Hannah were discussing human sexual relations with an old couple behind them. I felt sorry for Sam. He had planned this whole event, and I repaid him by torturing him with a 2 hour flight with just a few of my family members. Stepping off the plane, I adjusted my red tie and dark grey jacket, and re-buttoned up my even darker shirt, having been roughly bear hugged by Gabriel, who rubbed his knuckles on the top of my head. Everyone wanted to have a look around LA and go shopping, but myself and Sam went to the hotel, as I felt sick from the flight.

Loosening my tie, I paced the room.

“Being an angel, I presumed you would be okay with flying?” Sam quipped. I glared at him as I pulled a bottle of beer from the mini fridge, examining the label.

“I’m not sure about this”

“The beer or…?”

“Not the wedding, the drinking. I do not fully understand the relevance of becoming paralytic a few days before a wedding?” I frowned, still looking at the bottle.

“It’s your bachelor party, you are supposed to enjoy this last night as a free man”

“And Dean is doing this also?” I looked up at Sam.

“Yeah, in a couple of days. The night before the wedding”

“I hope he makes it”

“On my word as a best man, I swear he will make it” Sam smiled, holding his hand on his heart.

“Thank you”

“Now, here’s to a literal angel marrying my big brother” Sam grabbed another bottle, and opened mine, then his, before clinking them together.

“Bottoms up” I shrugged, glugging the beer. Sam laughed, watching me drink the entire bottle.

After the pre-drinks in the hotel room I switched from my dark shirt and red tie to a grey V-neck t-shirt, as suggested by Sam. He explained that I needn’t get formally dressed until a few days’ time, and most people will be casually dressed. He switched from his black shirt to a black t-shirt.

We all met up outside a place called Angel City Brewery.

“I thought this place would be the best way to start” Sam smiled, having planned the whole night.

“Fitting” Gabriel remarked, raising an eyebrow “But there best be a strip club later”

“No, no strip clubs” I insisted, blushing.

“You’re such a spoil sport” Gabriel growled as we walked into the brewery. Everyone ordered several beers as there was a huge choice, though I only had a few glasses of cola mixed with various spirits, which Sam ordered me. We spent around 2 hours in the brewery, discussing the wedding at first, but then talk moved on to personal life.

“So, I have to ask” Gabriel started, lifting his beer “Who’s the bottom?”

“Excuse me?” I frowned, unsure of what he meant.

“I was wondering that too” Chuck admitted “Dean doesn’t look like the bottom type”

“I really don’t want to know who fucks who in all honesty” Sam scowled, taking a swig of beer.

“Is that what they meant?” I asked him in a hushed whisper. He nodded.

“In that case, I’m usually the bottom, but during our second time, Dean thought he hurt me, so he refused to let me be the bottom, so he was” I said proudly, knowing that I had put most of them off their drinks, and hoped they would stop asking questions.

“I knew it!” Gabriel exclaimed. I had thought wrong.

“So he asked you, right? To marry him?” He continued.

“Yes”

“So, that makes you the woman” He grinned, clearly enjoying himself. I sipped my drink through the tiny red straw, glaring at him.

“I’m just saying” He laughed after Raphael nudged him playfully.

“You know we don’t have genders” Hannah reminded him.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I rather enjoy this body” He smirked, leaning back with his hands behind his head. Both Hannah and Naomi scoffed, and looked at him with disgust.

“I actually do have a question” Sam finally stated “If Dean refused to be with you, because of your male body, would you have changed?”

“Thankfully he didn’t refuse. I would feel awful taking another body. I wouldn’t get much choice, what if he hated the female body too? What if she had a family?”

“Did this body have one?”

“Jimmy, yes, he did. He had a wife and daughter, however, he had just walked out on them, having found some sort of righteous path. I occasionally kept an eye on them to start with, but his wife eventually moved on” I informed him.

“You can’t choose?”

“No, demons possess whichever body they want. We, however, have to gain permission from the vessel. They are always an individual who has prayed for change and such. They have to allow us to enter” Hannah smiled, gesturing to herself.

“Interesting” Sam mused.HeHe

 

After a few hours, we left the brewery and carried on down the road, having a drink or two in every other bar. We eventually sat outside a busy bar and ordered a few large bottles of wine. Talk continued to revolve around my relationship with a human.

“A lot of the family upstairs doesn’t agree with your choices, not because of the gender issue, as obviously we don’t have one, but because you are an angel of our father, the lord” Raphael conveyed, pouring me another glass of wine.

“I’m more human now than any of you, I have been down here the longest”

“I know, and I have no issues with your choices, I was just forwarding the message from home”

“This is my home now” I replied defensively.

“I understand. Apologies”

“No worries, we get it” Sam interjected, smiling “At least some of you are coming to the wedding”

“I can’t believe you convinced Jegudiel to use his vessel to enable you to marry religiously” Hannah chuckled, clearly amused “I dread to think what the people of the church thought to his acceptance”

“Who’s Jegudiel?” Sam frowned, not familiar with the name.

“He is the angel of responsibility and merciful love” Hannah informed him. Sam nodded in comprehension, swigging his wine.

“I thought the rest of the church would object, as they see it as a homosexual relation, but it isn’t up to them, we aren’t actually getting married in the church, jut by the reverend” I mused.

“It is good that Jegudiel’s vessel is a reverend” Naomi agreed with us.

I looked around to see most of the bars closing down, and the one we were sat outside was starting to be cleaned.

“Where should we go next?” I inquired.

“I know just the place” Gabriel grinned, standing up quickly. Nervously, I allowed everyone to follow him to a night club around the corner.

                           

“This really isn’t my scene” I scowled as he spoke to the bouncer.

“Come on” Gabriel encouraged, dragging me through the door.

Inside was dark, except for the ultraviolet lights, strobes, and a few spinning search lights. There was a platform in the middle with scantily-dressed young women dancing around mental poles, each with a pink spot light on them. Gabriel walked ahead to talk to a man in a suit, who I presumed to be the manager. When he returned I was fuming.

“I said no strip clubs!”

“Come on, just for an hour? I’m bored” Gabriel pleaded. I snarled, rolled my eyes, and let him lead me to a chair in front of the platform. The manager was speaking to the girls individually, before letting them go back to dancing. We all sat on the leather chairs in a semi-circle.

“This is fun” Hannah and Naomi chirped, having been handed glasses of pink champagne by female twins in white underwear with tassels hanging from the hems. I turned back round to talk to Gabriel, but his eyes were fixed on the stage. Just then, 3 young women, barely legal, walked over to us. The one on the left was tanned, her dark hair tied back and braided, wearing only a light green thong and thick strings of beads around her neck, which barely covered her breasts, and had leopard print lace-up shoes with huge wedges and heels. The woman on the right had platinum blonde hair thrown over one shoulder which covered one breast, the other covered by a stick-on gold star, which matched her gold sequin thong, and her calf-high gold stiletto boots which clung to her skin like lycra. The third woman, in the middle, and directly in front of me, had bright orange-red hair barely to her shoulders, spiked and messy. She was wearing a red frilly bra and matching boxer-briefs, and had red cowgirl boots with black rose patterns on them.

“Boys, Hannah and Naomi, meet Raven, Ginger, and Crystal” Gabriel smiled, gesturing at the girls from left to right.

“Gabriel, I don’t feel comfortable-” Before I could object, the girls moved forwards, Raven towards Gabriel, Chuck and Raphael, Crystal towards Sam, Balthazar and Samandriel, and Ginger towards me. Naomi and Hannah were being entertained by the twins with drinks.

“I’m married” Sam stated, moving his chair away from Crystal, who nodded and focused her attention on Balthazar and Samandriel.

“I heard your partner is from Texas” Ginger whispered in my ear before lifting her leg to place her foot on the arm of my chair “I’m from Texas” She smiled, showing off her cowgirl boots.

“I’m really not comfortable with this” I admitted, leaning as far backwards as I could.

“Do you want a male stripper?” She frowned, looking down at me.

“No, I don’t want any, I don’t want to be here”

Ginger rolled her eyes and stood with her hands on her hips, then looked over at Gabriel.

“Your lad here doesn’t want a dance” She called to him.

“Cassie, don’t be such a baby” He smirked, looking sideways to see around Raven, who was sat on his lap facing him “Enjoy yourself”.

“Come on Cas” Sam was stood beside me and offered me his hand to help me up, before leading me out of the club.

“I told him” I snarled, pacing.

“I know” Sam assured me, trying to grab me to calm me down. Just then, Hannah and Naomi joined us outside.

“How about we go back to the hotel, grab some of the drinks there?” Naomi offered.

“Sounds like a plan” Sam smiled.

We walked back to the hotel, albeit slowly as our vision was blurry. Sam was a bit more drunk than the rest of us, even though he drank less. I put it down to him being human.

We all gathered in my room, as I had the best selection of drinks in my mini-fridge. Myself and Sam sat on the two soft chairs, and Hannah and Naomi sat on the bed, each of us with a beer.

“I’m sorry about Gabe” Naomi apologised.

“It’s fine, he hasn’t ruined anything, it’s just who he is. I’m used to it. I think we all are” I smiled.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. I stumbled over and opened it. The rest of the guys were outside, Gabriel at the front. Raphael nudged him in the ribs.

“I wanted to apologise. You didn’t want to go, but I made you. Sorry” He muttered, then glared at Raphael, who smiled in response.

“Apology accepted. Come on in” I chuckled, allowing them to enter the room. They all took places on the bed, floor, or table, and grabbed a drink each.

“I am glad you are all here” I admitted, raising my bottle in the air.

“Glad we can be here for you” Balthazar raised his bottle in response.

“To a new life” Hannah added, raising hers as well. And with that, we all downed our drinks.

I opened my eyes a crack, to be met with a blinding light. Flinching, I pulled my bed sheets over my head. I heard the bedroom door open, and footsteps walk to the window.

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty” I heard Sam chirp, before opening the curtains fully. I could only groan in response.

“You have to go home today, Cas. I have to be there for Deans Batchelor party tomorrow”

Sam pulled the blankets off me, and I rolled onto my front, groaning again.

“Come on” He chuckled, grabbing my feet and pulling me from the bed. Eventually, I sat up, squinting, as Sam passed me a glass of water.

“Nice pyjamas” Sam smirked, gesturing to my sheep pyjamas, which were buttoned up completely wrong, and my trousers were on backwards. I looked up at him over the rim of the glass.

“We’re going on a plane, aren’t we?” I grumbled, handing him back the empty glass.

“You better believe it. Meet in the lobby in 10 minutes” Sam threw some clothes in my direction, then quickly walked out.


	16. Part 3 Chapter 1

Sam, Bobby, Ash, Kevin, Charlie, and Garth accompanied me on my stag do. Sam wanted to plan it, which led to an argument. He had planned Cas’s stag do, and he was the best man, however he refused to let me go to Vegas. His exact words were:

“If you go to Vegas, you will lose all your money for the honeymoon, and everything else. Not to mention you’ll end up in a strip club, or worse”

Personally, I didn’t see anything wrong in that sentence, but after a long debate, during which Bobby and Kevin agreed they didn’t want to go to a strip club, I begrudgingly gave in.

Sam decided to take us all to Seattle. I had never been, too close to Canada for my liking. But that’s why he chose it. As far away from Vegas as possible, without crossing the whole of the US. Sam thought it would be easier to travel by plane, against all my objections.

 “Is it supposed to shake like this?” I yelped, gripping my seatbelt.

“It is just the turbulence, here, have a drink on us” A flight attendant smiled down at me, handing me a couple of fingers of whisky.

“Thanks” I grunted, gulping the drink down in one.

The plane ride was only 45 minutes, which I was thankful for, as Sam knew I hated planes. Though I nearly threw up a few times during the take-off and landing.

“See, you’re still alive” Sam chuckled, slapping my back as I stumbled off the plane. I shot daggers at him, trying to think of something rude and hurtful to say in response. We walked through the airport and headed towards the doors.

“Hey guys, I got a taxi” Charlie shouted from outside. We quickly caught up with her and climbed into a minivan. Sam gave the driver the address of the hotel, and we sped off.

Once we had all settled into our individual rooms, we met in the lobby. I sported my favourite Led Zeppelin shirt that Cas had got me, an open blue tartan shirt on top, and a pair of old jeans. I planned to get paralytic, which could in turn ruin my clothes. Garth had a camera with him, as he was determined to embarrass me on my wedding night with the photos. In a way I was glad Sam decided against Las Vegas, the last thing I needed was photos of me in that sin city.

“I got you a present” Bobby smirked, placing a pink fluffy tiara on my head which stated ‘Bride to be’ in big glittery letters across the front.

“Thanks” I grumbled sarcastically, not bothering to take it off.

“I thought we could start on 1st avenue” Sam informed us, heading out the door and into a taxi. It was a short ride to the strip, where we pulled up outside a place called ‘Big Picture’.

“Sounds gay” I grunted. Everyone looked at me and scowled as if I had said something ironic.

Sam smirked and led us inside, where we were greeted by the manager.

“Hi, welcome to Big Picture, where we have a variety of Cinemas, Lounges, Venues & Event Spaces. How can I help you?”

“I called ahead. Mr. Winchester” Sam informed him.

“Ah yes, of course” The manager smiled before leading us down a hallway to a large open lounge area with a bar “Enjoy your evening”.

“Thanks” Sam nodded, before leading us all up to the bar.

“First round is on me” Bobby called, placing money on the bar.

“I have something special for bachelor parties” The woman behind the bar grinned, taking the money and turning to mix something up.

We all took a seat on one two of the leather couches facing each other, and the bar maid brought over a couple of trays of shots. They were dark purple at the bottom, and light pink at the top, with sugar around the rim of the glass. Garth let her take a picture as well all grabbed a shot.

“In just over 16 hours’ time, I’ll be married” I cheered, downing my shot. Kevin and Bobby looked at theirs suspiciously, then downed them a few seconds after the rest of us.

“Damn that’s good! Can we get some more?” I asked the bar maid.

“Of course” She smiled, handed garth his camera, and headed back behind the bar. We all grabbed our second drinks from the other tray and downed them.

“Can we get some whisky for the men?” Bobby called to her, half joking.

When she came back over, a few other members of staff helped her carry over a total of 4 trays of the pink shots, and 2 trays of tumblers of whisky, and a tray with numerous bottles of beer. Charlie, Kevin, Ash and Garth all handed them money, splitting the load between them.

It must have taken us around 2 hours to finish all the drinks we were given, and the shots went straight to my head. I stumbled to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water, regaining my composure. Who says just because the drink is pink it’s girly? That stuff was strong.

Sam led us up to 2nd avenue and into another bar. I knew I needed to eat something, or I wasn’t going to last the night if we did that many shots again in each bar.

“Bring me your best burger” I grinned, sitting up at the bar. We all grouped around and had a few pints while I waited for my food. After a while, one of the guys from the kitchen brought out a burger stuffed with barbeque pulled pork. I felt saliva gather in the corners of my mouth as I picked up the beautiful piece of food.

“You’ll have a heart attack before you even get to the wedding” Sam joked, then ordered more drinks, including whisky for me. We only spent about a half hour in that bar, as it was too cramped. We carried on down 2nd avenue.

“I know you wanted to go to Vegas, so I hope this place makes up for the lack of sin city” Sam shouted over the hustle and bustle in the streets, and led us into a dive bar and arcade.

“You’re awesome” I grinned, slapping him on the back as I walked in first.

I went a few rounds on the slot machines, then pinball, and a few other random games, until I lost the $10 I entered with. Luckily, Sam refused to let me buy the drinks, and ordered us all a round.

Charlie walked off towards the bar, and returned a few minutes later with a fish bowl. It was 1/3 ice, and the alcohol inside was a swirling purple colour, with purple thick liquid dripping down the inside from the sugar rim.

“What in the holy hell is that?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“This, my moose friend, is a fishbowl. Purple rain to be exact”

“Moose?” Sam mouthed to me, confused. I stifled a laugh, and took up one of the huge swirl straws from the fishbowl.

“Purple rain. Sounds exotic” I smirked, then took a sip. “Christ that’s good!” I called out, taking another sip, shortly followed by Charlie, then Kevin, then Sam. Garth and Ash had a beer each, and Bobby had a glass of whisky, as according to them, the drinks we were having weren’t manly.

After about an hour, a few girls who were out for a 21st joined us. The birthday girl sat beside me and was talking about her boyfriend, and asking me about Cas. She was clearly really drunk, because she spilled her drink down her pink floral dress.

“Shit, ah, I’m so clumsy” She apologised, getting up “Help me?”

“Yeah, sure, what do you need?”

“I have leggings in my handbag, but no top, can I borrow your shirt?”

“Yeah, have it” I insisted, taking off my blue tartan shirt and wrapping it around her. I escorted her to the disabled toilets where she went in to get changed. When she came out, she bundled her dress in the bag and adjusted the shit, which was like a short dress on her petit body.

“Perfect” She grinned, twirling. I chuckled and let her to sit back down.

We all had a few more drinks, but I kept an eye on my new found friend, though I never actually got her name. She seemed fun.

“So, are you the girl in your relationship?” One of the girls asked, taking my tiara and wearing it.

“No, neither of us are, we don’t see it like that” I smiled, not minding them all taking it in turns to wear the tiara and ask questions.

“So neither of you are the open pink shirt, tight lycra pants, spiked hair, kinda guys?”

“You mean camp? No, we’re not” I smiled, taking a swig of whisky.

“So cute” Another girl cooed, wearing the tiara as she spoke.

“We’re going to a bar down the road, it’s got an outdoors bit, pretty cool. Wanna join us?” The birthday girl suggested.

“That sounds awesome” Ash interjected, one of the girls friends sat on his lap drinking his beer through a straw, which wasn’t the weirdest thing I had seen that night in all honesty.

“Fine with me” Sam agreed.

We all tagged along with the girls who led us to a bar. It was quite dead outside, but inside was a bustle of people, drinking, dancing, talking. A lot of the women were drinking whisky or beer, to which Kevin, Ash and Garth noted, heading straight for the crowd.

“This place is pretty awesome” I noted, being handed a free shot of whisky by the bar maid, who noted us as a collective party. Straight away we were all dragged into the crowed, being brought bottles of beer, whisky, and other drinks. It was exhausting, but so much fun.

                          

I was at the point where I could no longer form coherent sentences, and neither could anyone else really, when we decided to head out back. We all sat on the porch, and there was a small group of people with guitars. I could usually play, so as drunk as I was, I stumbled over to them.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Sure man” One guy nodded, handing me a guitar. He had on some awful blue floral shirt, and blonde hair to his shoulders. We all sat outside for a while after getting too warm inside, though occasionally one of us went in to grab a few pints.

I attempted to play ‘Wild Mountain Thyme’ on the guitar, and although I missed a few notes, and the speed was a little off, I eventually got the hang of it.

“And we'll all go together, to pull wild mountain thyme, all around the blooming heather, will you go, lassie, go?” I sang. To me I sounded good, though I knew that was only as I was drunk, since a few of the people outside went back in. We each attempted to play the guitar, but eventually gave in, and instead just sat in a circle and listened to the blonde guy play.

After a short while we felt we had cooled down enough, and went back inside to re-join the girls we had previously met. I got dragged into a crowd, handed a free beer, and a few new girls danced around me, all drinking some sort of alcopop.

“Did you know, I’m getting married tomorrow?” I told one of the woman loudly over the music.

“I’ve been married 3 years. Got 2 kids” The blonde woman responded, handing me another drink.

“Call a babysitter?”

“Nah, my husband has his game time while looking after them, and I get a girls night”

“Awesome” I noted, then turned to the brunette girl dancing in front of me, occasionally grinding up against me. I felt awkward, as I hadn’t experienced female contact in a very long time, but also as I felt like this classed as being unfaithful. I shook it from my mind, and just enjoyed myself.

“This place is awesome” Charlie called, dancing with two girls who were occasionally grinding on each other. I raised an eyebrow in approval. I looked around to see Ash, Garth, Kevin and Bobby sat at the bar with whisky, talking to a group of girls with an obvious good taste in booze. Garth turned and took a few photos of me, which I paid no attention too. My vision was blurry and I could hardly talk, but it was one of the greatest nights out of my life.

It wasn’t until the early house that the place got shut down, and we all stumbled, or staggered, out. Charlie got us a taxi back to the hotel, which Kevin vomited outside.

“Aww, poor little guy” Ash playfully tormented, bending down to Kevin’s height as he crouched beside the hotel door. Kevin waved his arm at Ash pathetically, still facing the floor.

“Come on guys” I laughed, helping Kevin up and leading the way into the hotel.

                          


	17. Part 3 Chapter 2

I was sat outside the Café adjusting my tie, waiting to be told everything was ready. I had eventually decided on a dark grey suit with a green and white diagonal-striped tie.

“How’re you holding up?” Sam asked, sitting opposite me at the table. He was in a dark blue-black suit and a dark blue version of my tie.

“I’m friggin’ nervous man” I replied, furrowing my brow.

“Yeah, I get it, you know? With Jess I nearly lost control of all bodily fluids”

“All of them?” I quipped, looking him over.

“Not like that” Sam smirked, rolling his eyes.

“Are you ready?” One of the waitresses asked me. I looked from her to Sam, and sighed.

“Let’s do this”

From the open door of the café, a red carpet led from the street all the way through to the counter on the opposite side. 4 chairs were lined on each side for 7 rows, totalling 56 chairs. Three more were at the front facing towards the carpet, one on the left, one on the right, for the maid of honour and the best man and his date. The wooden chairs had green and blue ribbons tied on the back. Blue for Cas’s side, green for mine. Cas’s brother, Jegudiel, who was our reverend, stood in front of the counter at the far end. The counter was draped with a white table cloth with frilly edges, with a few candles and the registry book. To the far left of the room, past the chairs, was where the dining area usually was. There were around 14 tables, each with 4 chairs, and a rectangle table against the far wall with 5 more chairs. The tables matched the counter, with the same white table cloth with frilly edges, and a large white candle in the middle with either a blue or green ribbon around it. The diner had kept the usual wooden spoons with the table numbers written on, however they were placed in thin glass vases next to the candle for each table. Just on the inside of the door, before the chairs, was the wooden sandwich chalk board, but instead of a list of the usual sandwiches, it read ‘Welcome to the wedding of Dean and Castiel, a match made in heaven’ and underneath was a list of the guests and the table number they were designated. The bad pun made me chuckle to myself as I walked down the aisle, occasionally shaking hands with friends and family. There were some familiar faces on Cas’s side; Gabriel, Balthazar, Naomi, Hannah, Raphael, Samandriel and Chuck who went to Cas’s stag do, and of course on my side I recognised Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Kevin, Linda and Garth. Ellen had somehow convinced Bobby to wear a nicer shirt and take off his hat, I could hardly recognise him. Jo looked beautiful as ever in a long black dress, and Ellen wore a similar one in a dark green colour with a brown woollen shawl. Ash and Garth both wore smart trousers with their usual scruffy shirts, though I have to give them credit for trying. Kevin and Linda, however, looked like they had just come from church. Then again, so did all of Cas’s family in their black smart trousers and white shirts, except from Gabriel who sported a dark reddish-brown waist coat over the top. I stood at the make-shift altar, facing Jegudiel in his all black suit and white collar and green Stole draped around his neck and over his shoulders. After a short time, the song ‘Earth Angel’ by The Penguins came on over the Tannoy system. I glanced at Sam, who held back a smirk at the song, his eyes clearly welling up.

_Earth angel, earth angel, will you be mine? My darling dear, love you all the time. I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you._

Cas walked through the front doors of the café, a few passers-by peered in after him. I had my eyes on the floor, which were moving quickly as I dug down for strength. I turned and glanced up as Cas was half way down the aisle, linking arms with Charlie as she prepared to give him away. His dark suit matched his hair perfectly, making his blue eyes stand out even more.

_I fell for you, and I knew, the vision of your loveliness. I hope and pray, that someday, that I'll be the vision of your happiness._

Cas stopped in front of me, a nervous crooked smile seeping from his lips. He hugged Charlie, who took the seat reserved for her. Sam sat in his reserved seat beside Jess. I had to admit, Sam had his own personal angel with her. Her hair was perfectly curled over her shoulders and just covering the spaghetti straps of her sparkling silver dress.

Cas walked a few paces forwards until he was stood directly by my side, and we turned to face the reverend again. I quickly looked sideways, nervously, to see Cas looking back. I gulped, petrified of this huge leap in our lives, and looked down.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in this temporary house of god, to witness to union of two perfectly matched beings” Jegudiel began. I heard a few excited whispers from the kitchen door, where the staff members were watching from.

“Never have I seen two souls more meant for one another, no matter their earthly form” he continued. I felt my cheeks flush, and I coughed quietly, shuffling on the spot.

                      

“Who here has the rings?” Jegudiel finally asked, looking around. Bobby stood up from the front row, and shuffled forwards.

“Here” He grunted, handing over a tiny silver tray with two rings in the middle. I looked into Bobby’s eyes, and I could see he was proud. His eyes were bloodshot and moist. Jegudiel held the tray, and Cas took up one ring, holding my hand in his other one.

“Dean Winchester” Cas sighed, in a voice that felt like I was being scolded. He smiled, before continuing in a soft voice “Human emotions are strange and still new to me, but from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I had to have you, to protect you, and to call you my own. You’re my perfect, innocent, little human” He blushed, looking down “Well, not so innocent”. A few guests chuckled amongst themselves, before he continued again. “I can’t imagine a world without you in it, be it earth or heaven. You are my everything. My hero, my hunter, my human, and soon to be my husband. I promise to love you, protect you, and care for you, for as long as we both live. There is no one else I would rather spend an eternity with, and I have prayed every day that you feel the same. I love you”

My eyes scanned his, which were filling up quickly. I was speechless as he slid the ring onto my finger, the platinum cool against my warm skin. He sighed in relief, and watched my hand as I shakily picked up his ring, after which, Jegudiel placed the tray to one side.

“Castiel Novak” I whispered nervously. This wasn’t like me to be nervous. What was happening? I felt like I was about to collapse. How did people do this without dying? I realised I was silent for a while, and looked up into Cas’s deep blue eyes. “Cas, I struggle to put feelings into words, as I know you do at times. I’m not one for mushy emotions or soppy love stories, or chick flick moments. But, when you cornered me, and told me how you felt, an overwhelming force and desire covered me like a sheet. All I could see was you, and I knew I wanted you. I didn’t care how or when, but it had to be you. I was scared and confused for a while”

“You got that right” Sam joked under his breath, mentally teasing me. I saw Cas shoot him daggers before I continued, holding back a smirk.

“I overcame such great challenges, the way I was brought up to think, the way others thought, and I overcame those challenges for you, for us. I guess, what I’m trying to say, in so many words, is that, I am completely and totally in love with you”

A few guests clapped, and a few women were crying, including Jess and Ellen. Charlie was holding back her tears, trying to be strong on my behalf. I slipped the ring onto Cas’s finger, to which Jegudiel announced loudly, with his arms outstretched;

“May these two be married in god’s eyes, our father, and live long and prosperous lives”

With that, the guests cheered, and I wrapped my arms around Cas, leant him back into my arms, and pressed my lips hard against his in a passionate display of our love.

                     

Myself and Cas walked around the tables, greeting everyone. At the tables with the blue ribbon candles was Cas’s family. Gabriel, Balthazar, Naomi and Hannah sat at table 1, Bartholomew, Gadreel, Ezekiel and Metatron at table 2, Michael, Anna, Raphael, and Chuck Shurley were at table 3, and finally Uriel, Zachariah, Meg and Anna were at table 4. According to Cas, Meg was a demon, but she turned good when faced with challenges. I didn’t believe it. A demon is a demon, no matter what it claims to be. But, if he trusted her, and they were friends, then it was fine with me. But they seemed a little more than friends in my opinion, she seemed a bit too touchy-feely for my liking.

Bobby, Jo, Ellen and Ash sat at table 5, which was closest to the top table, where myself, Cas, Charlie, Sam and Jess were sat. At table 6 were Kevin, Linda, Garth and an old Reaper friend of mine, Tessa. She threw down the old reaper cloaks, a few times quite literally, and got a job at a car dealership. What better way to stop collecting souls than by making people want to sell them for a new Ferrari? Towards the back was a few distant cousins at table 7; Christian, Gwen, Johnny and Mark. The table beside them, number 8, was my estranged grandparents Samuel and Deanna, with 2 other relatives I didn’t recognise. Speaking of relatives I didn’t know, 3 more were at table 9 with Adam Milligan, who I found out a few years ago was the Son my Dad never told me about. His mom was some woman my dad knocked up when he was out hunting one time. But that’s a story for another time. Table 10 was next to Bobby’s table, as it contained 3 of his close friends, Rufus Turner, Pamela Barnes and Frank Devereaux, with the HR manager from work, Sherry. Table 10 consisted of 4 work colleagues, including our boss Andrew, and the head of the department, Alan. There were various other Angels from Cas’s family scattered around, including Inias and Hester, who Cas explained were in his Garrison in heaven, whatever that meant. With them was sat Rachel and Ion. On another table were 4 angels called Joshua, Virgil, Nathaniel and Theliel. Lastly, Cas pointed out Esper, Ambriel, Chosetiel and Bion. The last table consisted of 4 work colleagues. I couldn’t grasp any of the names, so I just nodded in agreement, before leading Cas to sit down.

We sat in the middle of the table, with Sam by my side and Jess next to him, and Charlie was sat the other side of Cas. Just then, Sam stood up and tapped his glass with a spoon, the bustle of the guests dying down.

“Hi everyone, I would like to say, on behalf of my brother, and new brother-in-law, thank you all for being here on this beautiful day. I would like to propose a toast.” He held his glass of champagne up, and looked down at a little piece of paper in his other hand “He may be hard on the outside, but inside is a smushy middle, which I believe only Cas can bring out. They are the perfect couple, like ying and yang, opposites that completely attract. To Dean and Castiel”

“To Dean and Castiel” The room echoed with people clinking glasses together and cheering.

I took up my glass and clinked it with Cas’s, and we looked in each other’s eyes as we sipped our drinks, smiling against the glass. Just then, we heard the crackling of the tannoy system as it turned on again. Grinning, I clambered to my feet, and offered my hand to Cas. He looked up at me as music started playing over the system, and he took my hand and followed me to the empty space where the chairs and carpet had been. The staff members had moved them aside while we all sat down.

_Angel, with those angel eyes, come and take this earth boy, up to paradise_

I knew Cas loved Elvis, so I had chosen the perfect song; Angel.

Cas blushed as we stood in the open space, my hands on his waist and his draped over my shoulders. I hated dancing, but I knew Cas would want to. Besides, it’s traditional, right? I whispered the next line of lyrics into Cas’s ear, so only he could hear.

“Angel, may I hold you tight? Never kissed an angel, let me kiss one tonight”

As the song played through, we swayed on the spot, taking tiny steps so I didn’t trip over. Cas slid his hands down to my lower back, holding me tightly, so I moved my hands to his upper back and enveloped him completely. The song slowly finished.

_Angel, make my wish come true. Let me be in heaven here on earth with you_

With that, I looked down into Cas’s eyes, a kinked smile seeping from the corner of my mouth. Smiling back, he stood on his toes slightly, and placed a soft kiss on my lips. A few of our guests clapped or cheered, or took photos. We drifted back to our seats, flustered, as the manager of the Café waves to us, signalling that the kitchen was open. A waitress handed out the laminated menus, not the usual ones, but the posh ones used for special occasions. There were more expensive choices, however we had agreed to pay the total bill.

I obviously ordered the 15 oz steak, Sam of course ordered the Caesar salad, and Cas ordered the roast chicken, which led to many jokes about his ‘crispy wings’. 

“Good girl Charlie” I applauded as she was handed a huge portion of steak and chips. She smirked, and tucked a napkin into her cleavage. A deep cough echoed the room, and I noticed Bobby stand up with a glass of whisky in his hand.

“I would like to say a few words” Bobby stated loudly. The room fell silent, all eyes on him.

“Dean, you and your brother have been like sons to me. I used to take you fishing, play catch, like a normal family. I have been watching over you since you boys were little” He looked from me to Sam before continuing “And I have never been more proud of you Dean, than I am right now. Just like Sam on his wedding day. You idjits have come so far with so little. I’m proud of you both. And I hope you have a brilliant new life” He toasted, lifting his glass briefly, then taking a sip. The rest of the room followed suit.

I smiled, proud of Bobby, proud of Sam, and in a way, proud of myself. I held my glass to Bobby, and nodded in approval, and he did the same.

                           

We hadn’t hired a professional photographer, we didn’t see the point when everyone had their own cameras. So, relying on a few of the distant relatives to hold several phones at once, we all posed for pictures at our tables. When people had finished eating, we decided to cut the cake and then do photos. Bobby handed me one of dads old hunting blades, which had obviously been sterilised and cleaned, to cut the cake. Cas stood in front of me, and I rested my chin on his shoulder, admiring the small white 3 tier cake, with blue icing trim and a basic angel cake topper, which stood in the middle of a blue icing demon trap. Only the angels and hunters at the wedding understood the references, I felt quite sorry for the other friends and the staff, as they must have thought us crazy with all the human and angel references. With cameras at the ready, Cas took the blade, my hand over his, and dug it into the edge of the bottom tier. A whiff of chocolate fudge filled the air.

“God that smells good” I moaned, closing my eyes and breathing in the scent.

“There’s chocolate at the bottom, Victoria sponge in the middle, and fruit cake on the top” The manager informed me from a few paces away.

“Good, no one likes fruitcake” I chuckled.

“And we can keep the top tier” Cas rolled his eyes, pushing me playfully as I wiped the knife down.

“We can finish serving it out while you do photos” The manager smiled, walking over.

“Thank you” Cas smiled back.

Everyone walked outside the café and filled the street. We were all against the glass window of the café, making sure we didn’t cover the sign. Some sat on the floor, some on chairs, some stood, and others stood on the chairs. We all somehow squished into a photo, myself and Cas in the middle, Sam, Jess and Charlie by our sides, and Bobby, Ellen and Jo were on the front standing row with us too. One of the waitresses crossed the street and had to take the photos from there. After the huge picture, it was just my side, then Cas’s side, then eventually just those closest to us. Myself and Cas sat on chairs in the middle, Charlie, Sam and Jess sat at either side of us, and Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Ash and Garth were stood behind us, and Linda and Kevin were stood at the end beside Charlie, one behind the other.

“Is everybody in?” Cas called. After a few people shuffled closer, the waitress across the road took a few photos, to be sure no one blinked. I said my thanks as she handed my phone back, among others to various people. I quickly realised we were blocking the small street and quickly bustled everyone back inside.

Around 4pm the constant stream of music being played over the tannoy system was turned up, and many people got up to dance. I stayed with my cake, and Cas of course, and continued to eat. After a short while, Charlie walked over and dragged me to my feet, forcing me to dance with her. I tried to reach for my cake as I was dragged away, but to no avail.

“I’ll miss you” I called to it jokingly. Though I did really want it. Cas was already up and dancing awkwardly with some people from work. He smiled and waved me over, but Charlie tugged my arm and forced me to dance with her.

“I’ve been speaking with some of Cas’s family” She said in a hushed tone, glancing to see if anyone was listening “According to them, the guys who had their eyes burned out? That was from them seeing an angel’s true form”

“What?” I frowned, shocked, continuing to dance with her.

“Yeah. Now, I don’t wanna cause panic, but maybe we have a rogue angel on our hands, killing sinners and bullies?”

“Perhaps” I nodded, before glancing at Cas.

_I wonder if he knows… I’m sure he would have mentioned it. Unless… No, he can’t have, he’s mostly human now anyway. He would have told me. Everything’s fine._

“Just wanted to let you know” Charlie shrugged, before dancing backwards into the crowd and leaving me alone. Cas shuffled over to me and twirled, dancing. I chuckled at his awkward and adorable dance moves.

After a few hours, people were exhausted and the party was starting to die down. I checked the time, knowing we had a plane to catch.

Many people came up to our table to wish us well and said their goodbyes, which I attempted to do in return, however they mostly got an attractive view of my mouth full of food.

Eventually, it was just the people at the top table, and those closest to us, who remained.

“Congratulations” Linda smiled, hugging both me and Cas over the table “Have an awesome next few days, okay boys?”

“See ya” kevin smiled and waved, leading his mum out.

“We best be heading off too, it’s about a 6 hour flight home” Ellen sighed, getting to her feet “It has been wonderful seeing you boys” She smiled, grabbing both mine and Sam’s chin in her hands.

“Always nice to see you too” Sam mumbled through a locked jaw.

“You boys be good” Ellen continued, releasing us before she looked at Cas “Not you though, you and Dean have a honeymoon to go on” She smirked.

“Was good seeing you” Jo smiled at me, blushing slightly.

“You too” I smiled in response.

“See you boys soon” Bobby nodded, going to tilt his cap before realising he wasn’t wearing it. He grumbled as they left. Garth and Ash waved to us as they followed suit.

“So, you boys need a lift to the airport?” Charlie smiled, sitting up on the table. The waitresses were already clearing up, and Cas walked over to pay the manager.

“That would be awesome. Sam, Jess, you got the house key right?” I replied, turning to Sam.

“Yeah we have it. Don’t worry, we won’t rummage through your stuff too much” He smirked.

“Just make sure to take in the mail and water the plants” I rolled my eyes.

“I got it, don’t worry”

“Thanks” I smiled, standing and patting him on the back.

“Shall we head off?” Charlie chirped, jumping to her feet.

“Yeah, our bags are in the car already. It’s out front. Just don’t crash her, okay?”

“No worries, your baby won’t have a scratch on her. I’ll make sure Sam checks too when I drop it off at the flat” She swore, crossing her fingers over her chest.

Sam and Jess said their goodbyes as we all headed out to our cars, myself and Cas climbing into the back of mine as Charlie took the wheel. 


	18. Part 3 Chapter 3

We waved to Charlie as she skidded off in my car, the wheels screeched against the tarmac, causing me to flinch.

“She will be fine” Cas attempted to sooth me, hand on my upper back as I stared off in the direction of home.

“It’s not Charlie I’m worried about”

Cas chuckled, and took my hand, suitcase in the other. I picked up my duffel bag and flung it over my shoulder, letting Cas lead me into the airport.

It was almost a 2 hour flight to San Francisco, and it was pitch black by the time we arrived. I wasn’t entirely sure what time it was, I just knew I was exhausted, and it was late.

We grabbed a taxi to our hotel, ‘Best Western plus; The Tuscan’, and dragged our tired bodies inside. The main foyer was elaborately decorated in brown and orange geometrical patterns, and large round chandeliers made from glass hung over the couches. There was a huge fireplace at the end beside a staircase.

A member of staff walked over to us, and led us to the desk to check in.

“Names please”

“Winchester, I called in advance”

“Ah yes, you booked the large king-size, and here it says your words were ‘the honeymoon room is for pompous pricks’... is that right, Mr. Winchester?”

I felt my cheeks flush, remembering the phone call all too well. The man I spoke to seemed very arsey, so I just retaliated when he was trying to sell me a room costing 4 times the usual price, just to get given a normal room with a bottle of champagne and a few chocolates.

“Yeah, sorry about that” I finally muttered.

“No problem, we have taken your comment into account, and plan to make changes regarding our service and prices for a honeymoon suite. Having said this, are you still wanting the king-size?”

I nodded, starting to get agitated by the woman serving us.

“After your complaint, we have opted to making sure your experience here is better. I hope the room is to your liking” She smiled, handing over the keys.

“Thanks” I smiled forcefully, signing the paper on the desk and leading Cas up the stairs. I carried the suitcase and my duffel bag, as I knew we had quite a way to walk. Our room was on the top floor, and although there were only 4 floors, it was still a hell of a climb up the stairs.

I put the bags down and unlocked the door, before turning to Cas.

“What?” he seemed nervous, not sure what I was planning. I grinned mischievously, before scooping him up in my arms, kicking the door open, and carrying him across the threshold into the room.

“I never understood that tradition” he puzzled, standing and watching as I went back to get the bags.

“Neither have I, but I always wanted to do it” I mused, placing the bags just inside the door. We got out bearings, and looked around the room. The room was plainly painted, and was a very narrow. Immediately to the right as we walked in was the bathroom, with a white bath/shower at the far end, a dark wooden counter with black marble sink to the right, and a white toilet in between. It all seemed very mix-matched. Opposite the bathroom door, was the King-sized bed, its headboard against the left wall, which was entirely made out of mirrors. I liked the colour theme of the bed, a black and white headboard, red pillows, black and white draft excluder-type thing, and then a red blanket, all laid out on a puffy white duvet

“What even is this?” I laughed, picking up the long thin pillow that resembled a draft excluder and waving it around. Cas laughed, and took it from me.

“I don’t know, but weren’t you ever taught not to wave _it_ around, so as not to go blind?”

Smirking at Cas’s response, I took the pillow thing back and placed it on the white wooden bedside table next to the high tech alarm clock.

    

On the other side of the bed was another bedside table with a wooden-based lamp and phone, and a safe underneath, then beside that was a black and white patterned arm chair to match the bed, and a small round table was in the corner with a black and white checked tablecloth, overlooked by a tall lamp about 5 foot from the white base on the floor to the red lampshade above the table. There was a small black coffee maker with a metal pot, two black mugs, and a few sachets of coffee granules and sugar set on the table on a little black tray. The far wall had a large window with white wooden shutters and blinds. Our window looked straight over the busy roads and low buildings, but we could see straight down Mason Street to fisherman’s Warf, and out onto the water, with Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance. Next to the window, against the right hand wall, was a white wooden desk and green checked chair with another mix-matched lamp beside a mash-up of various leaflets and flyers for things to do. Beside the desk was another door, which presumably was a built-in wardrobe. The wall then went further backwards, where a low white wooden unit was pushed against the wall, leaving little room to manoeuvre around the bed to get to the only open area, where the desk, table and chairs were. The wooden unit compromised a large TV, and in one segment was a tray of candles and incense, which we mad to move into the wardrobe after we realised it was making me sneeze. Inside a cupboard under the unit was a mini fridge, stocked with several mini whiskey bottle, two beer cans, several cans of soda, and a few bottles of crappy fresh fruit juice. At least the managers _mostly_ has taste. On the top of the unit in front of the TV was a basket with a posh bottle of wine, a variety of chocolate bars, a few small tubs of Pringles, and some packets of chocolate and nuts.

“That’s what I’m talking about” I grinned, scooping up a plastic tub of gummy bears.

“Sweet stuff before bed?” Cas questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t judge me” I scowled through a mouth full of gummy bears. Chuckling, Cas finished unpacking the essentials and putting them away, before pushing the suitcases under the bed.

I put the bears down and sat on the bed, which I sunk into. I was _not_ used to feather beds.

“This could be interesting” I mused, poking the sheets which squashed, then raised back up again.

Cas vanished into the bathroom while I was admiring the bed, I hadn’t noticed until he walked out in nothing but a red silk robe, turning the lights off until only the bedside lamp was left. I gawped at him, unable to speak.

“We committed sin by being intimate before marriage” he growled playfully, walking over to me.

_Is this his idea of dirty talk?_

“I broke one of my father’s rules for you, Dean Winchester-” he stopped at the end of the bed.

Cas’s voice sent shivers of pleasure up my spine as he said my name in his deep, enthralling voice.

_Okay, I guess this works._

“-Now I’m going to break you” A mischievous grin spread across his face, before he lunged towards me, pouncing onto the bed and straight on to me.

The morning light streamed through the blinds. I blinked and rolled over, groaning. My waist and thighs hurt like hell.

“Good morning sleepy” Cas cooed, walking towards the edge of the bed and placing a mug of coffee in my hands as I sat up slowly.

“I think you broke me” I smiled, still half asleep.

“That was the plan” he smirked in response, sitting down beside me on the bed.

“It was a good plan” I agreed, rubbing my eyes with my free hand.

“Speaking of plans, what do you want to do today?”

“How about breakfast. I’m starving”

Cas got dressed into something comfortable, took my now empty mug from me, and handed me some of my own comfy clothes. I dragged myself out of bed, wincing as I put weight on my legs.

“I apologise”

“What for?” I asked as Cas walked over to me again.

“For hurting you”

“Wasn’t I saying the same thing to you after our first time?” I smirked “I’m fine, honestly”

We walked down to the dining area. The far end had a dark wooden bar, not matching the bamboo tables and chairs. The floor was tiled, making me glad I wore shoes instead of just socks. There was a dark wooden counter with a marble top, where fresh hot food was being made on the other side, and served over the counter. All the walls were covered in pictures and paintings, and there were the odd few model boats hanging from the ceiling.

We found somewhere to sit, occasionally getting stares from other couples or families. One couple even moved tables to be further away from us.

“Is being gay contagious or something?” I joked quietly to Cas.

We both ended up having full cooked breakfasts, mine with extra bacon. Cas opted for fresh orange juice, but I chose more coffee. I knew I would need it, as I was sure I wasn’t going to get much sleep.

“I was thinking we could go visit Alcatraz today” Cas suggested, taking a bite from his toast.

“The prison?”

“It’s more than that, it’s historical. I always wanted to go” Cas half-pleaded.

“Okay, okay” I agreed, tearing off bacon and smothering it in BBQ sauce.

The Alcatraz tour must have cost me at least $160. We arrived on a small ferry and were given headphones for a tour. We opted out of the one where you go around in a huge crowd, and just stuck to the headphones. There was way too much walking for my liking, but Cas was happy. He actually seemed to enjoy the audio tour that only seemed to talk about death.

Cas walked up to one of the cells and turned to me.

“If we were in jail, would I be your bitch, or you mine?”

I was taken aback, not sure how to respond, but started laughing as Cas’s serious expression melted into a playful smile.

“I’m no one’s bitch” I jokingly scolded him, folding my arms.

I liked being able to be like this with Cas, he was the only person I could be like this with. I put up a wall for anyone else, even Sammy. I was his big brother, I had to be strong in front of him, and for him, to keep him safe. It was how we were brought up. But Cas, Cas I could be playful with, and not worry about letting my guard down. He brought out the inner child in me, the one I never got to be.

“I would gladly be your bitch” Cas laughed, walking up to me.

“I thought you were?” I smiled softly, looking down into his eyes before planting a kiss on his lips. Cas gasped, pretending to be offended as he playfully pushed me. Just then, a few other people walked into the cell block, so we hurried along to the next section.

“It’s strange to think this place is like 140 years old” Cas mused as we walked outside.

“Well, at least we know where to go next” I noted, turning him around to face the Golden Gate bridge across the water. He smiled excitedly, and turned to kiss me.

Alcatraz was a lot bigger than I had thought, and as we were walking around it seemed to just keep going. We caught up to a tour group, and the park rangers were letting people sit inside some of the cells. Cas jumped about excitedly, and we made our way to the front. The ranger put us in a cell together while a woman took a picture on my phone for us.

“Top bunk is mine” I joked as we looked around the cell.

“Does that make me your bitch?” Cas smirked in response as we were let out, a few of the people on the tour laughed with us. I got my phone back and we wandered off again, through the dark halls and outside into a courtyard.

“I think I found our next fantasy” I teased, walking up behind Cas and pinning his hands behind his back playfully.

“Not here Dean” he growled back, clearly sexually frustrated from my advances. I released him.

When we were back on the mainland, we decided to explore the shops. We bought a large white padlock and a permanent marker from a hardware store, then walked down a back street and stumbled upon a sex shop. I raised my eyebrow questioningly at Cas, who shrugged, so we entered.

It was dark inside and the air was thick with the smell of sweaty men. I choked back a lump in my throat and pushed forward, Cas holding my hand and trailing behind.

We located the toys, and I shuffled uncomfortably. This was turning into a whole new stage of our sexual relationship.

“What are these?” Cas asked innocently, holding up a display item of large beads on a string. I instantly snatched them and put them back.

“Not those” I yelped, leading him away.

Cas picked up a small vibrator and pressed the button to change the settings, then put it down.

“What do you want?” I asked him, watching as his eyes swept over the shelves. He smiled.

“These” he responded, placing a box of candy thongs in my hand, followed by flavoured lube “I brought our handcuffs and body chocolate with me” he continued, placing a box of condoms on the pile in my arms.

“What-” I started. Since when was my husband a sex maniac?

_I think I broke him…_

We left the shop and caught a taxi to the start of the Golden Gate Bridge. We thought it was the perfect time to walk along it, as the sun would be setting soon.

We locked our fingers together and walked side by side, swinging our hands between us. We stopped not even a third of the way along, as I didn’t really fancy walking almost 2 miles just to walk back again.

“We should get out more, we always stay home” I suggested quietly, looking out at the pale orange-pink sky over the water.

“We could have date nights?” Cas suggested, looking from the view into my eyes.

“That’s not what I meant” I half chuckled. I saw Cas fumble in his pocket out the corner of my eye.

“Here” he smiled, handing me the padlock as he opened the marker pen.

We scribbled our names on the padlock, and Cas helped me attach it to part of the railings, where thousands of multi-coloured padlocks were already lined. With a quick kiss on his stubbly cheek, I took the key from Cas and tossed it off the bridge and into the water below.

“That was amazing Dean” Cas sighed, curled up in my arms with his head on my chest, the bed sheets in a crumpled mess up to my waist. Our bodies were warm and wet from sweat, our hair slicked back and dripping. Little pieces of sugar candy were scattered across the floor, and an empty bottle of body chocolate was lay across the bedside table.

“Well it is our honeymoon” I smirked, twirling his hair between my finger and thumb, looking down at him and admiring his perfect shape in all its glory.

“You are amazing” he added, rolling onto his front and looking up at me.

“I try” I chuckled, looking down into those soft blue eyes “What’s got into you? Being all soppy and crap…” I half frowned, lowering my hand from his hair and wrapping my arms over his upper back.

“I just love you”

“I love you too” Those words slipped so easily off my tongue now. It had felt strange at first. Like I was breaking a law of some sort by having emotions. I had always closed myself off before, but with Cas, I didn’t feel the need.

“I am glad you do” he sighed contently, rolling back over to look up at the ceiling again. Everything was silent for a while, in complete content and blissfulness.

“Let’s have a baby” I whispered softly.

Cas didn’t respond at first, instead he turned to look up at me, one eyebrow ruffled in confusion.

“Where is this coming from?”

“Why not? I mean, we’re happy, married, have a place…”

“We need a bigger house” He noted, squeezing my hand in his gently.

“We can find one together. What d’ya say?”

“Okay” He smiled, kissing my chin. I leaned down to kiss him on the lips in return.

 The next few days flew by. We went down to the beach a few times, around the docks, went shopping, and talked more about the idea of having a baby. I don’t know why I had suggested it that morning, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted a child just yet, but the words just slipped out.

“I just want to look in here”

I didn’t take note of the shop Cas was dragging me into, I was too lost in thought, but when I looked up, we were stood in front of an aisle of baby clothes.

“What are we doing?”

“I just wanted to see” He cooed, running his hands over the soft fabrics of jumpsuits and socks.

“It might not even be a baby Cas, we might end up with a toddler”

“I know, but I hope we get a new born”

I followed him slowly down the aisle and stopped in front of the bibs. I smiled to myself, admiring one in particular. It was red with yellow writing saying ‘these fools put my cape on backwards’. Suddenly, images started flashing to mind of my father. I took a step back quickly.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked, worried.

“Yeah, it’s just…” I started, turning to him “I don’t want to be a deadbeat dad”

“Why would you think that?”

“My dad was a drunk and a hunter. I was left to look after Sammy and make sure he went to school and did his homework…”

“That is why you will be the best dad”

I frowned, not sure what he was getting at.

“You looked after your brother and took responsibility. There is no one I would rather have a child with than someone who has natural caring and fatherly instincts, and the ability to set aside his own needs to put those reliant on him first”

I blinked, not sure how to respond. I hadn’t thought about it that way before.

“I guess so” I shrugged, trying not to let Cas see how his words touched my heart. I quickly changed the subject by pointing out a batman bib, making Cas smile before walking on.


	19. Part 3 Chapter 4

We had been in San Francisco for a week, no worries, no troubles. Just each other. No more thinking about angels and murder and homophobic attacks. Though there was that risk no matter where we went. But it was nice to get away from it all. We had been to many typical tourist places during our short 7 days there, and a few less-touristy places too. Discovered nice restaurants and the best café for a bacon sandwich. Eventually our time in San Francisco had come to a close, though I was sure we would be back. If only to check on our little padlock.

It was almost a 2 hour flight back to Oregon. We slept most of the way, heads resting on each other and a blanket over our laps. It was a tiring, and brilliant, honeymoon. But now it was time to go back to reality.

We arrived at the airport to be met by Charlie with my car, and a huge banner saying ‘welcome home Mr and Mr Winchester’. I smiled to myself, before lightly jogging up to Charlie and embracing her tight.

“Missed you kiddo” I admitted.

“Alright calm down” She laughed, pushing me off playfully before hugging Cas “How was it?” she turned to me and asked.

“It was-”

“Were having a baby” Cas interrupted. Charlie blinked at him, then looked at me for confirmation. I smiled and shrugged.

“Yes!” she cheered, pulling us both into a tight embrace “This is gonna be awesome!”

“We have a lot to sort out first” I chuckled at her excitement.

Charlie drove us home, all the way asking questions about the honeymoon. I had to stop Cas a few times from telling her about his ‘most memorable sexual experience’ with me.

We made sure to pay her in a takeout for the car journeys, and gave her money for the cab home. I growled slightly, protective of my baby when she stated that “This car’s a beauty, might have to borrow her more often.” She just laughed it off and hopped in the cab we had called for her.

“See ya later bitches!” Charlie called, climbing into the cab. We waved her goodbye from the stairs of the apartment block. When Charlie and the car were both out of sight, we lugged our bags up to the flat and let ourselves in.

“Welcome home” Jess called, running to us at the door and taking our coats.

“Hey” Sam smiled, wrapping me in a bear hug and patting my back “Miss me?”

“Of course” I laughed, throwing the suitcases onto the couch.

“I want to hear all about it” Jess smiled at Cas, dragging him to the kitchen to talk.

“How was it?” Sam asked me, sitting beside the bags.

“Freakin’ awesome” I grinned happily, sitting opposite him.

As I was telling Sam about Alcatraz, Jess and Cas returned carrying a tray of cups, a jug of iced lemonade, and a plate of sandwiches.

We all sat around the coffee table, catching up on the past week, chugging down cold drinks as it was scorching hot outside.

“Who needs to go abroad when you have this weather” Jess noted, looking towards the window-wall on the far side of the room.

“You’re lucky, you live in California. You can visit a beach any time anyway” I noted

“That’s true” she shrugged happily.

“Oh, before I forget” Sam started, holding Jess’s hand as she stood by his side. He looked up at her, smiling wide, then back at me as Cas sat next to me on the couch.

“We’re having a baby” Jess finished his sentence, doing a slight jump of excitement. I blinked, my jaw clearly hanging open.

_My little brother is going to be a dad…?_

“That is wonderful news” Cas smiled, nudging me out of my shock before walking to shake Sam’s hand and hug Jess.

“Wow… I don’t know what to say” I admitted, walking over and grabbing Sam’s fist, pulling him into a one-arm hug “I guess congrats”

“Thanks” He grinned. He looked like a changeling the way his mouth reached from ear to ear.

“You’re the first to know” Jess informed us “I’m only a couple of months in, but I already have so many plans” she couldn’t seem to stand still so I offered her my seat.

“I hate to take away your glory moment here, but it’s odd you’d bring this up” I glanced at Cas before continuing “Because me and Cas are planning to adopt”

“Oh my god!” Jess squealed, causing me to flinch “Our babies can grow up together!”

I was rather taken aback by her over the top excitableness, my ear drums could hardly stand it.

“I’m happy for you bro” Sam admitted, standing to pull both me and Cas into a bear hug.

“We decided on our honeymoon” Cas informed them.

“Aw how sweet” Jess noted, smiling as she hugged us both “We can have a joint baby shower”

“Jess, honey, they might not get a baby. Might be a toddler or young child” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry guys”

“It’s okay” I shrugged.

“Have you thought about a surrogate?”

“I personally don’t like the idea of the baby only having one of our genetics. It’s all or nothing” I chuckled. Jess raised her eyebrow slightly. I shuffled uncomfortably and answered seriously.

“In all honesty, what’s the point in bringing more life into this world when there are so many little lives already existing and going to waste in orphanages?”

“That’s a fair point” She noted, unconsciously running a hand over her belly. Sam looked at his watch and stood up.

“We better head off, gonna take a while driving home”

We said our goodbyes and waved them out the door.

“I think it’s time for bed. I’m beat” I sighed, closing the door and following Cas across the room.

“I agree”

 We dragged our tired asses to bed with our bags trailing behind. We didn’t bother unpacking, just threw the bags to one side and crawled into bed.

“Home sweet home” I sighed, looking up at the ceiling as Cas crawled into bed beside me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into my chest, closing my eyes.

“Home sweet home” I whispered again.


	20. Part 3 Chapter 5

“I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester, but we have no children ready to be adopted at this time”

Cas looked at me with watery eyes. I turned to the woman behind the desk, her tweed fitted blazer bursting at the seams, and her pasty face framed with thick glasses and dark hair tied in a bun.

“Surely there’s someone…?”

“I’m sorry, but as I said, we have no one”

“What about the other places? Surely you are in contact with other homes?” I began to sound desperate, and I didn’t care.

“As I said, nowhere has any children ready for adoption, and the ones that are ready are all in their teens and have a lot of anger issues we are trying to fix up. Some older children have been passed around between houses and we want to make sure they are psychologically ready to be let down again before we ship them out”

“Who says we would let them down?!” I snapped, slamming my hands on the desk. The woman, identified by the plaque on her desk as Ms Joan Claudette, sat back and folded her arms.

“I think it’s time you two left” She said sternly, nodding towards the door.

I sighed and stood up, placing my hand on Cas’s lower back as I led him out the room. Several small children ran past us in the hallway laughing and chasing each other. I heard a small sniffle come from Cas, but I daren’t look, because seeing him upset would only make me more angry at the system.

“Hey Charlie” I sighed, holding my phone to my face.

“What happened this time?” She knew before I even said anything that something had gone wrong.

“Same story as the others, no children are ready”

“That’s just bull” She snarled.

“I know, but there’s nothing we can do”

“I’m sorry. I know you’ve been looking for months now” she said sincerely.

“I was hoping to have a baby for Cas’s birthday in July, but it’s almost October”

“I wanted to dress them up as Yoda for Halloween” Charlie sulked. I chuckled slightly at the thought, then my smile dropped.

“I’m gonna head off now, Cas needs me”

“Okay, chin up”

“Thanks kiddo” I forced a smile down the phone before hanging up.

“Cas buddy?” I said softly, walking up behind him. He was stood staring up at the orphanage. I placed my hand on his shoulder and stood by his side “Are you okay?”

“I just wanted a child” He said in a very quiet gruff voice, clearly holding back his pain.

“I know. I did too” I didn’t know how to comfort him, I felt helpless.

“I want to go home”

“Okay, anything you want. Would you like to grab a doughnut?”

Cas shook his head and headed for the car. He was silent the whole way home, staring out the window at nothing in particular.

He didn’t even talk when we got in. He just went straight for the bathroom and locked himself in. I figured he needed some time alone. And in all honesty, so did I.

I grabbed a beer from the fridge and slumped on the couch, flicking through the channels but not paying attention to what was on. I stopped flicking and the channel landed on a show called ‘one born every minute’. I felt anger bubbling up inside of me, and without thinking, I hurled the remote at the TV screen. The screen cracked in a cobweb shape in the middle, splinters shattering around onto the floor. I sat bolt upright, hand still in the outstretched position, eyes fixed on the mess I made. Slowly, the TV leaned forwards, and before I had chance to stand up, it fell to the floor and smashed with a crashing sound loud enough to wake the dead. I sat back, hands covering my face, and half screamed, half groaned, for what seemed like an eternity.

_This day can’t get worse._

My phone rang then, I glanced at the caller ID. Sammy.

“Hey Dean” He chirped down the phone. I grunted a sound resembling ‘hey’ in response.

“What happened?” He quizzed, his cheeriness diminishing.

“We can’t adopt. Nowhere will allow us to. Bunch of homophobic douche’s if you ask me”

“That sucks, I’m sorry” He said whole-heartedly.

“Not your fault. What’re you calling about?”

“I was gonna let you know I sent you Jess’s scan photo, over email. I kinda wish I hadn’t after hearing your news”

“No its fine” I assured him “Thanks, I’ll look later”

“Okay”

“Oh and Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations” I said sincerely.

I went to meet Charlie the next day for a coffee and to talk about all the crap going on. Cas stayed at home, drinking beer and eating nachos. We seemed to have switched roles in our grief.

Even though the sun was out, Charlie suggested we sit inside in the corner. She thought I might feel uncomfortable talking about my feelings out in the open. What had happened to the old me, who denied the presence of emotions? Cas must have really influenced me over these years…

“Have you thought about getting a surrogate?” She suggested, looking up at me over the rim of her large cappuccino.

“We really didn’t want to bring new life into the world-”

“I know I know, but there may not be another option?”

“Would you…?”

“Be a surrogate?” Charlie choked on her drink “Dean you know I love you both, but I don’t really want kids right now, Moondoor needs me. Besides, red hair wouldn’t really look good with a baby between you and Cas. You need a baby with dark hair.”

“We don’t really care about hair colour” I semi-pleaded “I wouldn’t trust anyone else”

“Look, I really don’t fancy carrying a man’s child in me. It’s kinda a creepy thought for me. A pregnant lesbian having a baby for a gay couple? I don’t want that kind of publicity. Besides, how can I kick ass when I have to watch what I eat and drink and do…?”

“I see your point” I sighed, swirling my coffee with a stirrer.

“I’m sorry, you know I’d do anything for you, just… not that” Charlie lay her hand over mine.

“I guess I can go to the fertility clinic and ask what they have?”

“That’s the spirit” She smiled, sliding a plate of pie in my direction. I shook my head and drank my coffee in silence. Charlie stared at me, clearly in shock.

“Did you just… turn down pie?” She gawped. I shrugged, and finished my coffee.

“Dean, sweetie, you need to lift your chin up. I know life seems shitty right now, but maybe it’s best? You need to get a house and sort out finances… You both start back at work in a couple of days. You need to think about who would stay at home to look after the child and all sorts”

I looked up at Charlie. She was kinda making sense, in a way. Maybe we were getting ahead of ourselves. But I knew what I wanted. And I was going to do anything in my power to make myself and Cas a fully-fledged happy family. I deserved that at least, didn’t I? ...Didn’t I?

As soon as I got home I called up the fertility clinic and made an appointment to talk with someone about our options. I didn’t tell Cas, he would just continue to sulk anyway. He had let his stubble grow out a little and his usually perfectly styled hair was a wavy mess. Like permanent bed hair.

I placed the roast chicken dinner on the coffee table in front of Cas. He didn’t look at it, or me, his eyes were fixed to the empty space where the TV had been. I looked over at it and remembered I needed to call for a replacement.

“Cas, baby, you gotta eat something”

He didn’t respond. His eyes stayed fixed on the wall.

I sighed and stood up, leaving his dinner on the table and going to the kitchen to eat mine. I hated seeing him like this. I had no idea what he was thinking about, how he was feeling… He wouldn’t talk to me or eat. At night he would have his back to me and be as close to the edge of the bed as possible, not even wanting to touch me, or let me hold him. I began to feel like this was all my fault, like the world was punishing me for my sins against humanity. I had always tried to justify my life to myself and others. I’m not gay, Cas isn’t even human. Maybe that was it. Maybe his father was punishing us- a hunter and an angel together. It must make him sick.

Cas didn’t come to bed that night. I figured he needed some space. I heard him leave through the front door around 2am, probably going for a walk in the cold breeze to clear his head. We both did that often, more than we should have, given the past situations with homophobic scum. I rolled over to face his side of the bed, empty and perfectly flat. It was as if we didn’t even live together, back when I was alone, when I would wake up from nightmares every morning. I was so scared of that happening again, though I would never admit it to Cas. He worried about me enough, or, he used to anyway. Not so much these past couple of months.

I tossed and turned for a few hours, but I just wasn’t tired. Well, I was… but not like I wanted to sleep. I was just tired of being let down by the system.

Unable to drift off, I picked up my phone from the bedside table and logged onto my emails. Of course, there was the usual scams and junk mail, but among it all was the email from Sam. My finger hesitated over the name, my brain whirring as to whether I should click it or not, for fear of making everything worse. In the end, I gave in. I tapped the little box on the screen and was instantly met by the scan photo. I smiled to myself, looking over the white figure which was sort of resembled a baby. She was over half way through the pregnancy apparently. Sam noted in the email that her due date was late January.

_I might have to share my birthday with my niece or nephew…_

They said they weren’t telling anyone the gender, so only sent out the scan photo where you couldn’t tell. I found it amusing how the scan photo had a black blur in the perfect spot to cover the baby’s modesty, like on TV where they use the black square to cover stuff.

I zoomed into the scan and ran my finger along the outline of the baby’s head. My smile turned to a frown, and I placed my phone back on the bedside table.

_This isn’t fair. He’s my baby brother, but he gets to be a dad before me. I may never get to be a dad at this rate… I should have stuck with women. But how could I not fall for those beautiful blue eyes and that dark rugged hair?_

I closed my eyes and eventually drifted off.

I woke to an empty bed.

_Did he even come home at all last night?_

I rolled out of bed and stretched before throwing on my robe. Yawning, I trudged out the bedroom and across the living room. Just as I passed the front door, it swung open. I jolted, pulled my fist back ready to strike the intruder.

“Cas?” I gasped. He fell into my arms, looking worse for wear, but not beaten.

I kicked the door closed and carried Cas to the couch, laying him down.

“Cas, what happened?” I panicked, carefully trying to slip him out of his trench coat.

“I’m… fine” He panted, his eyes closed.

“No you’re not, I’m calling the cops” I growled, storming over to the phone.

“Dean” He breathed, reaching his hand weakly towards me.

I stopped and turned, then walked back towards him and knelt by his side.

“What happened?”

“Angels” His guff voice was quiet as he was clearly in pain.

“What about them?” I snapped, anger bubbling up inside me.

“They are angry… with what we did”

“What we did?”

“We got married… some angels are…against it” His rough breathing caused him to have a coughing fit. I sat Cas up gently, propped up on some cushions, and ran to get him a glass of water.

“Did they hurt you?” I asked, handing him the water, which he glugged thirstily.

“Like they could” He chuckled weakly. I forced a smile, still worried for my angel.

“Are you sure you are alright?”

“You should see the other guy” He smirked, clearly getting better as we spoke. I rolled my eyes and helped Cas to sit upright.

“Everything is fine, Dean, I swear”

“If you’re sure…” I trailed off, taking his glass and placing it on the table.

“I am sure” He promised, grabbing my hand and looking up into my eyes. I sighed, shrugged, and helped him to his feet, swearing to never bring it up again. For a moment, we both forgot about the issue of not having children. And it was nice. Until the delivery man came with our new TV.

He insisted on showing us how it worked, as if we didn’t already know. He also seemed to think that I was incapable of wiring it up myself, stereotyping us as the kind of couple who know nothing about DIY or electronics. I bet he was expecting us to be flouncing around in pink Hawaii shirts and booty shorts, offering him home made lemonade. I snickered to myself at the thought of Cas in booty shorts and a pink shirt.

The Electrician flicked through the channels, stopping on a children’s TV show, which personally I found terrifying. He made several remarks about how much his daughter loved the show, looked us over, and flicked to the cooking channel. I could feel rage bubbling in my chest, wanting to tell him where to shove his channels, but Cas lay his hand on my shoulder, instantly calming me.

Once the Electrician left, I decided I needed something comforting to do, to take my mind off everything. So I grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge, ordered a takeout, and sat beside Cas on the couch. I passed him a beer and flicked through the channels until I found something relatively good to watch.

We sat there until at least 4pm, eating pizza, drinking beer, just trying to forget the past few months. For a short while, it numbed the pain, but it didn’t go away completely. I sighed, leaned forwards, and pulled out the miniature pool table I got Cas for his birthday from underneath the couch, placing it on the coffee table.

“Fancy a game?”

“I think we have both had too much beer for that”

“Precisely why we should play” I smirked, handing Cas one of the foot-long pool cue’s. Begrudgingly, he took the cue from me and sat on the floor between the couch and table.

“I’ll break” I offered, lining up the miniature cue ball.

I woke up to the alarm on my phone ringing. Blinking, I looked around, hearing a faint beeping from the bedroom- my alarm clock. I had fallen asleep on the couch.

I sat up and stretched, and glanced over at the arm chair, where Cas was curled up with a piece of pizza still in his hand. Smiling, I walked over, took the pizza, had a bite, and nudged him.

“Cas” I grumbled through a mouth of cold pizza “We gotta go to work”

He just grumbled in response, so I went to make coffee. Whilst stirring in Cas’s sugar, I heard scuffling behind me.

“Morning sleepy” I smirked, turning to hand Cas his coffee “Guess you smelt it?”

He nodded slightly, rubbed his half-open eyes, and took a sip of the freshly poured coffee, ignoring the fact it was boiling.

“Back to humanity today” I noted, placing my phone, keys and wallet in one place so I didn’t forget.

“I wish I could just sleep forever”

“I’ve never known you to sleep this much” I chuckled, heading through to the bedroom. Cas followed me slowly, shuffling his feet along the tiles.

“I never needed to before”

I got undressed then put on my suit and drank my coffee before Cas had even got out of his clothes from the previous day.

“Come on” I rolled my eyes, helping him into his white shirt. I tied his blue tie for him and helped him into his black suit jacket, before checking he had actually zipped up his suit trousers.

“See? Not so bad” I laughed, brushing his hair to look relatively normal.

“I thought it would be at least another 70 years before you had to get me dressed” He smirked, finally waking up properly.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late for work”


	21. Part 4 Chapter 1

I was feeling exhausted. Dean had to help me do some every-day things at times, because my body just did not seem to be able to work to its full capacity. My boss thought I was depressed. He did not bother to ask me, instead he asked Charlie. So of course she ran over to me and asked how I’m doing and brought be a doughnut.

“I am fine, just really tired” I urged.

“Swear?”

“I swear” I smiled, crossing my heart.

“Good” She chirped, turning on her heels and skipping away. I stared at the doughnut, suddenly really hungry. I was never usually this hungry, or thirsty, or tired. I figured it was because of the angel attack the previous week.

My mind wandered back to that awful night…

 

“Castiel” I had heard a deep voice rumble, shattering the windows of the run down houses. I wasn’t entirely sure what area I was in, but it was not something I usually had to worry about.

A white light hit a passer-by, the only person I had seen for at least 20 minutes. That poor woman, she had no idea. Her eyes glowed blue as she approached me, and I knew she was no longer the innocent homeless woman she had been only seconds earlier.

Two more people appeared out of thin air, either side of her.

“Castiel, you have sinned, and we are here to rid you of your impurities”

“What are you talking about” I scowled, unable to pinpoint exactly which angels were possessing these vessels.

“You have laid with a hunter” the first angel stated.

“A male hunter” another added as the three of them approached me.

“Father did not disapprove” I backed off slowly.

“Father is not around” the third angel snapped.

“We are here to do his work, to cleanse the angels of impure thought”

“You can’t just walk around claiming to be doing our fathers work! That’s blasphemy!” I yelped, stumbling backwards and falling over as the first angel got a bit too close for comfort. I sat there, not sure what to do, looking up as the three angels surrounded me.

“Don’t worry Castiel, we won’t kill our own brother”

“We just want to rid angels of their impurities, by getting rid of said angels”

I looked between the angels as they pulled out their angel blades, slowly reaching for my own. Within a second, they were on me. I fought back, kicking and slashing at them. Blue light seeped from their cuts. I gasped, a sharp pain in the side of my neck. The first angel held a glass vial to my wound, my blue grace pouring into it.

“No!” I yelped, trying to push them away. I felt my self growing weaker by the second.

“Don’t take all of it, we don’t want to kill him”

“Leave him with just enough to keep him alive for a normal human period of time”

My vision started to blur as my eyes rolled back in their sockets.

When I came too, I was exhausted, drained, and really hungry. I missed Dean. I knew he would ask questions, but I refused to let him know I had my grace stolen, he didn’t even think I had any to start with. I couldn’t _lie_ about the angels attacking though, that part he had to know…

I shook the awful ordeal from my mind and stood up, light headed. I glanced over at Dean in his cubicle, getting on with his work, which was strange as he never liked doing work. I crossed the room to the employee lounge to make myself a coffee. Carol, the new department drone, was stood stirring her coffee. She smiled at me, so I forced a smile in return.

“What’s wrong with you and Dean, have a fight?”

“No, nothing like that” I responded, pressing the buttons on the machine.

“Then what’s up? You both look awful”

I turned, coffee in hand.

“No offence” She quickly added. I nodded in gratitude for her change of words and added some sugar to my cup.

“We wanted a baby. Nowhere would let us adopt. We have an appointment tonight at the fertility clinic to discuss other options”

“I would have been a surrogate for you, as I’m sure many of the women working here would, but we would lose out on money from work, and not to mention about half of us have had our tubes tied”

I frowned, not sure what she meant.

“It means we can’t have kids” She smirked at my ignorance.

“Ah” I nodded, taking a sip from my coffee and looking at the wall awkwardly.

“Sorry, hope the clinic goes well” She smiled, placing her hand on my shoulder as she walked past and left the room.

We had been sat outside the office door for around half an hour before the doctor called us in. We sat silently across the desk from her, shuffling our feet on the worn grey carpet.

“I’m Doctor Sandra Clarke” She smiled, brushing her blonde hair over her ear.

Myself and Dean smiled in response, trying to get comfortable in our old leather seats.

“So, how can I help you both?” She smiled, peering over her thick rimmed glasses with huge dark blue eyes.

“Well, we wanted to adopt. We are married and have a flat and felt it was time…” Dean began nervously. Doctor Clarke nodded for him to continue.

“But no orphanages or foster homes would allow us to have a child, they said none were ready to be taken. They were supposed to call us with news, but we have heard nothing. I have even witnessed other _straight_ couples going into the building and coming out with children, so clearly kids are ready to be adopted there, which I think is unfair to take away the opportunity for them to have two happy and loving parents-”

“Okay” Doctor Clarke quickly interrupted Dean’s rant, pushing her thick rimmed glasses up her freckled nose. She pushed her chair backwards and reached into a filing cabinet by her side, pulling out a thick paper folder. She shuffled back to the desk and flicked through it, not taking her eyes off the paper as she spoke “Do you have any preferences on surrogate looks?”

Dean looked at me and I shook my head.

“No” he responded coolly.

“That makes this easier… Would one of you like to be a donor, or would you not mind if it was a baby conceived by another man?”

I shook my head at Dean again.

“Originally we would have preferred one of us to donate DNA to our child, but we aren’t that bothered anymore”

“Good, Good” She noted, still staring at the papers “We sometimes get young teenagers in here who don’t want to abort but don’t want to keep the baby. So we set them up with a couple and they stay in contact until the baby is born, and on that day, the baby is handed over to the adoptive parents”

“That could be something we would be up for, we aren’t very keen on creating new life when there’s so many lives going to waste in orphanages and stuff” Dean smiled, getting hopeful.

“Unfortunately” Doctor Clarke sighed, ignoring Dean’s comment and looking up at us “There are no pregnant women registered with us for that currently, and for obvious reasons we can’t predict when the next woman will show up”

“Okay” Dean sighed, sitting back in his chair “So what about artificial insemination?”

“Let me check” She smiled, moving some paper to one side.

I looked at Dean hopefully, and he grabbed my hand tight in response.

“There is currently a waiting list of 35 couples wanting insemination, but we only have 5 surrogate women to date. It is so much easier getting donor sperm than donor wombs”

“What?” I gasped, sitting upright. Dean Squoze my hand tight, and sat forwards slowly.

“So how long are we talking?” He said in a tone which I detected was slightly annoyed.

“Unless we get more surrogates, or a couple drops out, you’re looking at around a 63 month wait, maybe more”

“That’s appalling!” Dean snapped.

“Well I’m sorry, but that’s just how the world works. Some of these couples are coming from other states. This organisation has the best track record-”

“I’ll tell you where you can shove you’re track records!”

“Dean, please” I begged, holding his arm. He sat back in a huff, and I turned to Doctor Clarke, who was clearly taken aback.

“I apologise, it is just that we have been looking for months for some way to have a child, and we continue to be let down”

“That is not my problem, Sir. I can’t just hire people in the street and ask them to be a surrogate, it’s not that easy. Now please, I think you and your _friend_ should leave”

I stood up, pulling Dean with me. He shrugged me off, and stormed for the door. He turned abruptly in the doorway, glaring daggers at the Doctor.

“And FYI, I’m his _husband_!”

Dean turned on the spot and stormed out. I followed close behind, leaving Doctor Clarke in shock.

“Well that’s just great” Dean snapped, climbing into the car and slamming the door.

“We will find a way” I assured him, though I wasn’t entirely hopeful myself.

“Sure” He huffed, starting the engine.

I knew I had to find a way, not just for myself, or Dean, but for the sake of our relationship. I knew that with all these fights and being let down, it was going to take its toll on us.

That night, I tried angel radio, but I got nothing. I could hear nothing. I cried out in anger and sadness, holding my face in my hands.

_How am I going to cope with no grace?_

Whilst Dean was asleep that night, I snuck out. I had heard of a club just a couple of blocks away that a lot of angels attended. It was cold out, and there were no stars. I pulled my trench coat tighter around me and sped up my pace. The outside of the club had a queue, but I walked to the front as I recognised the bouncer as an angel.

“Castiel” they smiled. After a second, their smile fell “You have no grace”

“It was stolen, I need to talk to angels inside, for information”

“That’s terrible!” He gasped, opening the door “Just shout if you need anything”

I entered the club slowly, the room was dark and there was multi-coloured lights flashing everywhere. It reminded me of my stag night.

I looked around the room, eyes narrowed, trying to identify any angels. Just then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Defensively, I spun around, hand ready to pull out my angel blade.

“It’s alright Castiel, it’s me”

“Gabriel” I grunted.

“You don’t sound too happy”

“Why are you here?”

“Are you kidding me? This is where I’m in my prime!” He grinned as 3 young women gathered to his sides, all in skin tight sparkling dresses and high heels.

“I’m trying to find someone-”

“Who can get you a baby” He rolled his eyes as if it was obvious.

“How do you know that?”

“I know everything Castiel. Plus the fact you’re the talk of the town around here. Little brother trying to start a family” Gabriel teased “Girls, go get yourselves some jello shots” he smiled, turning and handing them a 50 dollar bill, before turning back to face me as they ran off squealing happily.

“I can help you” He promised slyly.

“You know I do not trust you, no one does”

“ooh, harsh” He cringed “Well, I guess you don’t want a baby” He smirked, turning to walk away.

“Wait!” I called. He turned on his heels.

“Talk to Antonio, tell him Gabe sent you” With that, Gabriel turned and walked to the bar.

I looked around, and approached the first person I found.

“Do you know Antonio?”

I asked several people before a young man pointed me towards a dark corner of the building. Nervously, I headed towards it.

“Antonio?” I called out, turning a dark corner.

“Who’s askin?” Replied a deep voice.

“Gabe sent me, I’m his brother”

“A brother of Gabe is a brother of mine” A figure emerged from the dark, but not out far enough for passers-by to see them.

“I need some help”

“You may be talking to the wrong person”

“Please” I begged “I just want a child”

“Meet me out back” with that, the figure vanished. I headed out into the alleyway, to be met by a large African-American male. He had a scar down his left cheek, and wore a black leather coat which looked like it had seen a few wars.

“Who are you?” I asked, trying to get a better view of his face in the dimly-lit alleyway.

“Antonio” he chuckled.

“No, I mean-”

“You mean, what do I do?”

I nodded slowly in response, still on edge being in an alleyway after my angel attack.

“I track down Nephilim and deliver them to heaven”

“I thought they were just a myth” I gasped.

“No more than you or I” He smirked, pacing in front of me “Now, are we going to do business?”

“What for?”

“For a child that you so desperately want” He rolled his eyes at me “I have my sights set on a pregnant human, she is carrying the spawn of an angel. I am ordered to take the child from the hospital and send it to heaven to be dealt with”

“What do you want in return?”

“Your grace”

“A bit too late for that” I snickered. He glared at me, and I looked at the floor.

“It was stolen?”

“By angels” I admitted. He chuckled loudly, then walked towards me aggressively.

“I can offer you something else” I swore, sheltering myself under my arms.

“Don’t waste my time” He snarled.

“I am not” I promised.

“I’m listening”


	22. Part 4 Chapter 2

It had been weeks since I made a deal with Antonio, though he swore me to secrecy. It was already coming up to the middle of October, making Dean very depressed lately.

“All I wanted was to dress up my baby as someone awesome, like Angus Young, Robert plant, or even James Hetfield…”

“Or Elvis?”

Dean glared at me, then smiled.

“Could you imagine them all dressed up like a miniature angel?” He smirked to himself, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

“A demon would be ironic” I noted, sitting on the kitchen counter.

“See? This is what we’re gonna miss out on”

I sighed and looked down at my hands, not sure what to say to cheer him up. Dean was miserable for the rest of the morning.

“Come on” I grabbed my coat and threw Dean’s leather jacket at him.

“Where’re we going?”

“Out” I snapped, walking out the door quickly.

Dean followed my closely as I walked down the street to the local store.

“If we can’t have a kid, we could at least make other kids happy?”

Before he could respond, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the candy aisle.

“Cas, I can’t” He groaned “It won’t be fun without a child. I wanted my first real Halloween to be with my child on theirs”

“Please Dean, I am really trying here. I am trying so hard to make you happy”

He thought for a second, looking at the floor, then me, then back the way we walked.

“Fine”

I smiled widely and walked up the aisle, grabbing various multi-packs of candy.

“Oh, Christ, no Cas” He yelped, hitting vegemite chocolate out of my hands.

“Why not?” I frowned.

“It tastes like ass”

“How would-” I began, but Dean raised his eyebrow so I stopped mid-sentence. I followed Dean around the small store. Dean grabbed a few lots of Liquorice, some Reece’s skittle-type things, a pack of Twinkies, and a six pack of beer.

“I don’t think the children can drink beer, Dean”

“This is for me” He smirked, proudly “And so are the Twinkies”

I chuckled and followed him to pay for all the candy.

“I didn’t think anyone liked Liquorice”

“Are you kidding? It’s classic movie food, right up there with popcorn” Dean defended.

I raised my eyebrow, but shrugged and let him keep the Liquorice.

We walked home, happy for the first time in a while, arms bursting with candy. I almost dropped a pack of marshmallows trying to open the main door to the apartment block.

We were laughing and joking all the way upstairs and along the hallways, Dean slightly ahead of me. Suddenly, Dean stopped abruptly, causing me to bump into him. I walked to stand by his side, questioning his actions.

“What are you doing, you cannot just stop….oh”

In the hallway, outside out door, was a basket.

“Careful” I whispered to Dean as he approached it suspiciously. He waved at me to be silent, walking sideways slowly. He lifted a piece of fabric which was strewn over the basket, only to be met by the sound of loud wailing. Dean stumbled backwards, crashing into the wall and falling to the floor.

I half-ran up to him, dropping all the food, then I turned to look at the basket, and at the pink blob inside. Frowning, I circled it to get a better view.

“Is this…” I started, looking over at Dean.

“A baby” He breathed, staring at the basket in shock.

We had carried the basket inside, placed it on the coffee table, our candy thrown onto the couch. Dean was pacing back and forth beside the table.

“What the fuck do we do?” He panicked. I was at a loss for words, which Dean saw as he looked at me. He stopped, and glanced at the basket. Without saying anything, he pulled out his phone and dialled a number, pacing once again.

“Hello, police? Yeah, we have a baby dumped at our doorstep, we have no idea what to do”

With a few grunts and details, Dean finally finished and hung up, before slumping on the couch and slicking his fingers through his hair.

“What did they say?” I asked, sitting beside him.

“They are going to come over, do a DNA test, try and find the birth parents. If that doesn’t work, they will take the baby to an orphanage”

“This is the definition of painful irony” I sighed, glancing at the basket.

“Pure torture” He agreed, before getting up and pulling a beer from the 6 pack we bought. He threw one to me, and we sat, drinking, both staring silently at the basket in front of us.

The police questioned me in the kitchen while Dean assisted the DNA analysers. I kept glancing to the living room through the archway. The analysers took out a cotton bud, which they called a ‘swab’, and asked him to hold the babies mouth open.

“Why do I have to help?” he objected, taking a step back.

“You found the baby, don’t you want to help find their parents?” One of the analysers frowned. He didn’t respond, so the other analyser did it for him. It only took a second, but the baby started wailing. Poor thing was wrapped up so tightly in the blanket it could hardly move, now it was being subjected to strangers prodding and poking at it. I turned my attention back to the officer, who was filling in a few forms.

“We’re all done here” the analysers called, putting the swabs in bags and walking to the front door.

The police officer smiled at me and packed up his files, walking through the archway to join his colleagues, one of which was carrying the baby in the basket.

“We will call you with any updates” The police officer smiled at us both.

“This sucks” Dean sighed under his breath. The officer frowned at Dean in confusion.

“Is there a problem?”

“We have been trying to adopt for months, even get surrogates, but everywhere either had a waiting list or was homophobic-”

“Dean” I tried to interrupt, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“No, I just think this is cruel. This poor innocent child was abandoned by the people dedicated to take care of it, meanwhile, people like _us_ are desperate to have children, but instead we’re subjected to stereotypes and insults” He snapped, shrugging me off.

The officer blinked, clearly taken aback.

“I am sorry for my partners behaviour, it has been very stressful lately” I sighed begrudgingly, ushering the officer out the door.

“It’s perfectly understandable” He shrugged, following his colleagues “we will let you know if there are any updates” he called out behind him as they walked down the hall.

“Thank you” I forced a smile before closing the door. I did not turn around, instead I planted my forehead against the wooden door, and sighed, exhausted.

“I’m sorry I lashed out” Dean whispered from behind me. I turned, slightly aggravated at him. But when I looked into those beautiful green eyes, my anger drained from my body.

“I know”

Dean forced a half smile, trying to pretend that everything was okay, and walked to slump back on the couch again. I walked to the kitchen and put the shopping away.

“What if this was all an elaborate prank by those homophobic bastards that attacked us?” Dean suggested, popping open another beer.

“They are not smart enough” I noted, opening my own beer as I walked over to join him.

“That’s true” Dean chuckled, taking a swig of beer and turning on the TV.

We hardly slept that night, both confused and emotional after the previous day’s events.

It was not even 6am when I got a phone call, waking both me and Dean up.

“Yeah?” I groaned down the phone.

“We got the results, but couldn’t track down the parents, it’s as if they never existed. No hospital or midwife or even doctors have any records. No baby is even recorded by any of them to be born around the time we estimated for this child was born. So we will be taking the baby to an orphanage soon. They were only a couple of minutes old when left at your door, which is odd because there is no way someone could give birth and get the baby to your apartment in time. The baby is about 12 hours old now, maybe less, but needs caring for urgently. We have managed to get a nurse here to feed and change the baby, but adoption will be difficult. I remembered what your partner said yesterday, and was wondering if you two would be willing…” The officer trailed off.

My half-closed eyes opened fully at that point, and I was suddenly wide awake.

“Are you serious?” I gasped loudly. Dean jolted up beside me. I ushered him out of bed and jumped up myself, holding the phone on my shoulder as I tried to dress myself.

“If you’re up for it, come by the station today, we can sort out the papers for you”

“Thank you so much” I yelped, hanging up and throwing on a shirt.

“What’s going on?” Dean scowled, sleeping getting his clothes on.

“I have a surprise for you” I grinned, pulling my shoes on and grabbing the car keys “come on!”

“Alright” He groaned in response, trailing after me, still buttoning his shirt.

We arrived at the police station, Dean let me drive as he was so sleepy, and had no idea where I was taking him. He frowned at me, confused at our location so early in the morning. I got out and opened the door for Dean, who stumbled out and up the stairs to the building.

“Ah, Mr. Winchester” The officer we had spoken to called out, walking from a small group of other officers to talk to us “I’m glad you’re here. We have the official documents ready for you. In all honesty, the quicker we do this, the quicker we can move onto more critical cases. You’re saving us a huge chunk of time by being here” He smiled, leading us through to a small room.

“What’s going on?” Dean scowled, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“You will see” I promised, taking his hand and following the officer. We all sat at a table in one of the interview rooms, and an assistant brought through some files, smiling at myself and Dean before leaving promptly.

“These are all the documents, I’ll leave you to fill these out and make sure everything is prepared” The officer smiled, before walking out.

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” Dean finally snapped. I smiled, and slid the papers over to him. Glancing down, realisation struck, and he looked at me, dumbfounded.

“Are you serious?” He gawped, hands trembling over the adoption papers.

“I am” I smiled in response, picking up a pen and signing my name on the several dotted lines, before holding the pen out the Dean.

“This is so… sudden”

“We found the baby, surely this is a sign? You said it yourself, this child was abandoned by those who were supposed to protect it”

Dean sighed, knowing in his heart what he wanted, but his brain getting in the way.

“We aren’t prepared”

“We can go shopping on the way home” I suggested, resting my hand on his arm “Think about Halloween” I smiled calmly. A smile spread across Dean’s face and he scribbled his details on the papers faster than I could teleport.

There was a knock at the door, and a female officer walked in with the cradle. She placed it carefully on the table, and scooped up the wiggling bundle of blankets.

“Say hello to your new baby girl” She fussed, walking over to Dean who was on his feet in seconds. “We found a Babygro in the lost and found, it’s a bit big but will do. Keep the blanket”

I smiled and moved to stand beside him. The female officer carefully placed the baby in Dean’s arms, who flinched, clearly worried he would drop her.

“You’re a natural” She smiled.

“I’m scared I’ll drop her” He whispered, looking down nervously at the little pink face and stroking the end of her nose softly.

“Aww, you are so sweet” The female officer cooed, watching attentively as I stood beside Dean to look down at this mysterious new creature in our life.

A midwife walked in to give us some leaflets and sign the forms, then talk us through the basic needs of a baby, plus any medical needs.

“It should all be in these booklets and information packs, but if you need anything, I wrote my number on the top of the page” She smiled, pointing to the top of one of the leaflets.

“Thank you so much” I grinned, watching as she scooped up the adoption paperwork and handed us an appointment card for registering the baby.

“Enjoy your new family” She smiled before walking out the room.

“I’ll show you out” The female officer informed us, leading us out the room and down the hall.

“Congratulations” The other officer, who had organised all this, called to us from up the hall.

“Thank you so much” I called back before we walked out the building.

When we got down the concrete stairs, we glanced from the impala, to the baby in Dean’s arms, and realisation his us.

“We’re fathers” Dean gawped, looking down at the tiny pink blob. I glanced at the car, and the seats.

“erm, Dean…”

He looked up at me, a smile spread on his face. He seemed happy for the first time in a while.

“We can’t put her in the car”

Dean looked from me to the car, and groaned.

“Supply run?” he suggested, nodding his head in the direction of the mall.

“Are you alright carrying her like that?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine” He semi-shrugged, carefully walking, baby cradled close to his chest.

“We need to think of a name”

“We have a few days until the registration, so we don’t have to decide now. Besides, she will be stuck with that name forever, we need to make it good”

I smiled, and walked closely beside Dean as we headed to the mall. I wondered how strange it would look, two men carrying a baby with no supplies.

_Maybe people will think we stole her?_


	23. Part 4 Chapter 3

We walked into the first ‘mother and baby’ store we found, to be greeted by sneers and stuck up noses from the customers and staff.

“What, never seen two baby daddies before?” Dean called out angrily, before storming to the back of the store. The staring people carried on hurriedly, clearly intimidated.

We stood and stared blankly at the various types of car seats, both dumbfounded. A young man with short hair at the sides, and a quiff in the middle, approached us.

“Can I help you two?” He chirped, fluttering his long eyelashes. I smiled in response. The young man was wearing the pink uniform with blue building blocks spelling out his name on his tag ‘Jordan’.

“Yeah, we are really struggling here” Dean sighed, exasperated.

“I can tell, guess you weren’t prepared?”

“You could say that. Just adopted this munchkin at the police station, with no warning” Dean flashed me a look, before turning back to Jordan.

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me dear” He smiled, turning to look at the items on the shelves. He sighed, and placed a finger on his cheek, thinking “right, what car do you have?”

“67 Chevy Impala” Den smiled proudly. The baby was very quiet in his arms.

“Ah, this will be hard then. A lot of seats are designed for more modern cars, but…” He trailed off, walking down the aisle a little as if stalking the items on the shelves “This one can be adjusted” He finished, stopping in front of a box.

“This particular seat can be detached so you can just carry the baby in the seat, set it down wherever, and it has a handle for easy carrying”

I looked at Dean, who was still confused, as everything had clearly gone straight over his head. Jordan noticed this, so turned to the other side of the aisle.

“This Maxi Cosi car seat slots into the Mountain Buggy Swift pushchair frame, meaning it can attach to this” he pointed to a larger box “It saves you buying a separate pram and car seat. This pram is just the frame, and the seat slots into it. And for later years, there is an attachable fabric seat for when you need a pushchair”

Dean sighed. I could tell he wanted to rub his eyes in exhaustion, but he was holding the baby so carefully that he dare not move.

“It’s the cheaper and best option for you and your car” Jordan insisted.

“Fine, we will take it I guess” Dean finally agreed “I have no idea what I’m doing” He added, staring at the box. “Cas, take the baby”

I looked at him, then the baby, completely overwhelmed and unsure of what to do.

“Let me help” Jordan insisted “I have three younger sisters” He carefully took the baby from Dean’s arms and placed her in my own, adjusting my elbow to make sure I was holding her right.

I blinked, lost for words as I looked down at the tiny wrinkled and pink blob, wrapped in a blanket, who had not yet opened her eyes.

Dean picked up the larger box, and Jordan picked up the smaller one, carrying them to the tills. Once Dean had paid, Jordan helped us to quickly set up the pram, much to the annoyance of his manager.

Dean shoved the smaller box in the bigger one, and any extra parts or extensions for the items in the smaller box, which we somehow squashed in the under-carriage of the pram.

“At least it isn’t one of the overly-large pink ones with about 20 million pockets and a cup holder” Dean joked, admiring the basic metal framework and car seat slotted in the top.

“It still cost over 300 dollars Dean” I noted, carefully placing the baby in the seat

“And think how much the bigger ones would be, how much we saved getting this” He retorted, handing me the instructions of how to strap the baby in.

“Why is this so complex?” I scowled, eyeing the paper.

It must have taken us around 20 minutes to actually work out how to fasten the buckles and adjust them correctly, but we eventually did it.

“Would you like the push her?” I offered. Dean seemed rather sceptical, or nervous, though I was not entirely sure which.

“Nah, you go ahead” He forced a smile, patting his hands on his jean pockets awkwardly. I raised an eyebrow, then took hold of the handle.

“We need clothes” I noted, strolling down the large tiled pathway into the centre of the mall, Dean walking idly by my side.

Dean veered into the first clothing shop we came across that stocked baby clothes. Without hesitation, he tracked down the baby aisles, and I followed hurriedly. He quickly grabbed a trolley and carried on.

“Dean, please slow down, this is heavier than it looks”

“You’re an angel. That never bothered you in the past. Remember when you picked me up-”

I coughed loudly, interrupting Dean as someone walked past, frowning at us.

“I remember” I hissed, catching up with Dean.

“Yes! Perfect!” He suddenly yelped, grabbing some Babygro’s off the shelf. I looked them over distastefully, then turned to Dean.

“You know she is a girl, right?”

“Does that mean she has to have bad taste in music?” He retorted. I sighed and let him choose whichever ones he wanted. The four Babygro’s he decided on were typically his style. They were all black, the first saying “I listen to LED-ZEPPELIN with my Daddy” In scrawled writing, the band name in its traditional font. The second he chose had a red hem, which I must admit was slightly more appropriate for a girl. It had the basic “AC/DC” and a red guitar on the front. The third was a Metalica shirt, and in the usual scrawled writing was “Little Horseman” scrawled over the bands logo. The final Babygro was again AC/DC, but instead, the logo read “AB/CD” with “for those about to walk” scrawled underneath. Dean seemed to think these were the greatest things since sliced bread, and I went along with it, knowing all our choices had to be compromises from now on.

   

Dean let me pick up a few pink Babygro’s, tights, socks, gloves, hats, bibs, tops, trousers, skirts, onesies and dresses.

“Pink is so sickly” Dean groaned, rummaging through the pink and white outfits I chose “At least let me get a couple of awesome things?”

“Fine” I groaned, knowing exactly what he was looking for.

We ended up with two more bibs, one saying “Never too young to Rock N Role” with a guitar underneath, and the other was again a variation of the AC/DC logo saying “BA/BY”.

“She is going to have no idea whether she is male or female” I snorted, watching as he threw red and black dummies into the trolley.

“Don’t be so anti-feminist, she’s gonna rock”

Rolling my eyes again, I quickly overtook and led him to the till to pay.

“That cost almost half as much as the pram” Dean grumbled, looking through his wallet as we exited he shop, shopping bags tied onto the pram in various locations.

“It was the band logo’s that cost the most” I retorted, smirking.

“Worth it” He shrugged.

  

We walked out the shop, turned, and bumped straight into Charlie. She stumbled, nearly falling onto the pram. Standing up, she looked angry, and about to snap. But her eyes met ours, then lowered to the pram, and her jaw dropped.

“Cas… Dean… What the hell?”

“Hey Charlie” Dean smirked.

“Did you just steal someone’s kid?” She frowned suspiciously, circling to stand beside me and get a better look.

“We adopted her” I said proudly.

“Her?” she frowned “since when?”

“Since like an hour ago” Dean laughed, pulling the blanket down a bit from the babies face so Charlie could see her.

“Does she have a name? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh god, I’m an aunty!”

“We haven’t decided on a name, it was all a bit rushed and sudden. Long story short, she was dumped by our door, the police did everything they could, but we ended up keeping her” Dean informed her, gazing down at the pink blob.

“We need a baby shower”

“A what?” Myself and Dean said simultaneously.

“Just, trust me. I will plan it all. Just get everyone you know to be at your flat in two days. I have loads to do!”

Dean raised his eyebrow as Charlie hugged us both, then ran off.

“That was weird” I noted.

“More so for Charlie” He agreed.

“Come on” I smiled “we have so much to buy”

Dean let out a long, tiresome sigh, and followed me to the next shop. He pulled out his phone while I was browsing, making sure those closest to us knew to be at our house in 2 days by the demands of Charlie, and that any information they needed, to ask her.

Meanwhile, I browsed through various changing bags; spotty ones, stripy ones, ones with ducks…

“I am _not_ walking around with that” Dean objected as I picked up a pink bag “Can we get one to match the pram?”

“Fine” I huffed, picking up a grey canvas bag with black seams. It had a million pockets inside, and a netted pocket on the outside, covered by a grey flap which buckled down to keep everything secure.

“That’s more like it” Dean beamed.

We circled the store, Dean pushing the trolley, filling it with bottles, sterilising containers, dummies, clips with elastic to keep the dummies attached the baby. A kind old lady had told us they sometimes throw them and you can never find them again. We also stocked up on various medicines, thermometers, baby wipes, cotton buds, diaper bags, and a tonne of other things that we had no idea what they were.

“How am I supposed to know whether the baby is a size 1 or 2 in nappies?” Dean groaned, holding two boxes of nappies up.

“Why isn’t it just labelled ‘new baby’ instead of ‘new born’, ‘tiny baby’ and ‘0-3 months’? What’s the difference?” He scowled, turning one of the boxes.

“Get new-born” A woman suggested as she passed by, waving at our sleeping baby.

I smiled at her in response, and Dean shrugged, throwing a couple of boxes into the trolley. Everyone was being so helpful, it was as if they could tell we were new to this.

“How do these women _know_ what to do?” Dean huffed, pushing the trolley to the food aisle to get milk powder. We picked up the one which had a picture of a happy baby, presuming it would be the best. That’s how we worked out everything else to buy, just look for the happy babies.

“I guess it’s a woman thing” I suggested. Neither of us had truly _looked_ at the baby yet. We still felt as though she wasn’t ours. I glanced down, before following Dean to the tills.

We headed back to the car, stopping again at a baby furniture store. We picked up a high chair, which was pretty basic looking. It was mostly plastic, with a white plastic table and a light red cushioned seat and back, nothing fancy. We bought a basic wooden crib with a long drawer underneath for storage, as there was hardly any room in our apartment. Finally, we got a matching changing table. We decided against one of the huge fancy ones that looks like a wardrobe. Instead, we settled on a small simple table with a cushioned top, and two shelves underneath. Finally, we bought a mattress and bedding, which we decided to get in cream, as Dean insisted “we aren’t gonna to be those parents who subject their child to gender stereotypes”. I went along with it, mainly to please Dean, and bought a couple of soft teddies and blankets to match the bedding.

        

“Can we go home now, before she actually wakes up? It’s been 2 hours, and the midwife said they often need feeding every 2-3 hours” Dean groaned, dragging his feet, a flat-pack box under each arm and shopping bags hooked on his fingers. The pram had boxes squashed under it, and bags tied to the handles too. At one point, Dean had to make a quick run to the car to dump some stuff in it.

“Let’s go” I chuckled, turning the pram and heading out.

We trudged along sleepily, both our arms aching and feeling like they were about to fall off, when I spotted a baby seat in a window. I paused, looking at it.

“Don’t you dare, I can’t carry any more” Dean threatened, trying to nudge me along.

“Dean, we need something for her to sit in other than a car seat, for when we watch TV”

Dean gave out a long, exasperated groan, as if he were a toddler being told its time for school-shoe shopping and a haircut.

“You go get the car, put the stuff in, then come back for me” I begged.

“Do I have to come back?”

“This is your baby too” I scowled.

“Technically not” He winked, walking off slowly, backwards at first, before turning on his heels.

“Dean-” I called, frustrated.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming back” He trailed off.

I shuffled into the store with the bags, pram and boxes making it feel like I was carrying Sam, Dean _and_ Charlie in a wheelbarrow. If I still had my grace, this would be easy. I sighed glumly at that thought, but carried on to find the chair.

“Aww she is so precious” A woman cooed, peering into the pram.

“Thanks”

“How old is she?”

“Around 15 hours” I answered honestly. The woman looked at me as if my answer was wrong.

“I bet you and your wife are so proud, where is mummy now?”

“My husband is taking the crib to the car” I said matter-of-factly.

“Oh” The woman frowned, straightening up and walking off. I was glad she left, she was in the way of the aisle. I continued down it and stopped by the baby seats. I chose the seat I saw in the window, a blue and orange chair with a slightly bouncy metal leg frame, a hoop over the top with dangling blue and red shapes, and a red and yellow flower on the back section.

“This is adorable” I noted, then turned to look at the activity mats “I heard these stimulate early development” I muttered half to myself, half to the baby. I browsed a few, noting the differences.

“This elephant is blue, which is all wrong” I frowned, looking at a box “But it does have a mirror. Though Dean would probably say that it’s giving in to gender stereotypes, making you wish to wear makeup” I spoke to the baby casually.

“I think we should stick to something neutral” I mused, putting the boxes back. I picked up another, called the Skip Hop Giraffe Safari Activity Gym. On the picture, there was a round play mat of a safari scene, with cartoon animals, though they were more realistic than some of the others, with their real colours. There was a red U-shaped pillow included. The edges of the mat and the 2 crossed over arches were light green, with a small darker green leaf-style canopy at the top. It included 5 detachable semi-realistic animal teddies; a giraffe, a crocodile, a turtle, a bird, and what looked like a hippo. The turtles’ belly was listed as being a mirror, but I was sure Dean wouldn’t mind, as it was only small and could be detached if he objected. Besides, it _is_ gender neutral after all.

“Your baby can gaze at the cut-out patterns overhead in the felt canopy, or she can reach to explore puffy and silky textures, crinkles, squeaks and chimes… Doesn’t that sound exhilarating?” I looked down at the blob, who was still snoring happily. I scowled, and looked at the box again “It will do.”

 

                 

I took one last look at the pink, lilac and blue play mat with pink and white spotty base and pink, lilac and blue animals with huge eyes. Sighing, I shook my head, and slid the two chosen boxes along the floor with my feet, pushing the pram.

I placed the heavy items on the till, shattered and wanting to just go to bed.

“Are you going to be okay carrying these?” The man behind the till asked.

“If my partner turns up” I grumbled.

“Need a hand?” Came that familiar, beautiful husky voice. I turned, to be met by a sudden hard, quick kiss on the lips.

“Hi” I said, surprised.

“Daddy’s here” Dean cooed at the blob in the pram.

Smirking, I shoved the heavy boxes at dean and paid the man at the till.

“Thank you for your custom” He smiled, handing me my change.

“I’m pretty sure this baby has cost me more than a year’s rent on the apartment” Dean chuckled, following me and the pram closely out the store.

“And to think, we have to keep buying nappies and milk, then food, then school supplies, then college…” I grinned, knowing I was annoying Dean.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself” He laughed, opening the car door and trunk.

We managed to squash everything in, though I am not entirely sure how, and Dean somehow got the base of the care seat locked into the back seat of the Impala. We clicked the seat onto the holder, made sure the baby was comfortable, and climbed into the car. The back window view was blocked due to boxes and bags, and in was rather worried the baby would get squashed, so Dean drove under 20 MPH the whole way home. I had several bags and small boxes piled on my lap, which was severely uncomfortable, and probably illegal, but there was no way I would ask Dean to get a family car. _This_ was _his_ family car, so now it was ours.

Dean put on Led Zeppelin, though nowhere near as loud as usual. It was a strange experience.

“If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me” Dean began to sing softly. The baby didn’t wake, meaning she either liked the song, or was just a heavy sleeper.


	24. Part 4 Chapter 4

“Hey Charlie” Dean smiled, letting her in.

“Wow” she gawped, looking around the room “this is weird” She noted, admiring the baby seat and activity mat on the floor, and the folded pram in the corner with the car seat. There were several teddies sprawled on the floor, which I kicked to one side. Charlie walked over to me and pulled me in a tight embrace.

“So where _is_ the little munchkin?”

Dean walked to the couch and scooped up the baby. We were still deciding on names.

“You’re gonna go to Aunty Charlie now” Dean smiled down at the blob, which was a little less pink.

Charlie let out a kind of _squeak_ before taking the baby in her arms carefully, trying so hard not to drop her. The baby opened her huge bright eyes slowly, a colour which could only be described as ‘dark cyan’, blinking away her sleep. Her dark blonde wavy hair, or what little she had, was a mess.

“She is so precious, less pink than when I had a quick look two days ago. Have you decided on names yet?” She smiled, rocking back and forth slightly.

“We have _no_ idea, in all honesty” Dean admitted.

“I like Adriel, as it means ‘my shepherd is god’, but Dean disagrees”

“Still sticking with the religious names, are we?” Charlie smirked.

“It is tradition” I noted “I also like Aarya which means ‘prayer’, or even the obvious name Grace”

“I kinda liked Phoebe, which Cas said means ‘pure, bright and shining’” Dean sulked, picking up some of the teddies from the floor and putting them on the arm chair.

“What about an angels name, one you like?” Charlie suggested.

“It is forbidden” I sighed glumly “otherwise I would gladly name her Sofiel, after the angel of nature”

“But that’s such a pretty name” Charlie objected.

“I know” Dean agreed “but rules are rules”

“Wasn’t there a rule about a male human hunter marrying a male angel?”

“I’m not male” I objected. Charlie raised her eyebrow, so I changed my wording “I meant _I_ have no gender, this vessel is male”

“What about Aanya?” Dean suggested, interrupting the conversation.

“Well, it does mean ‘God has favoured me’, which could work” I shrugged, sitting on the couch “though Alizah means ‘promised to god’” I mused.

“That just sounds like he is gonna marry her” Charlie laughed awkwardly.

“Unless it is spelt with an E, because Elasah means that ‘God has wrought’” I retorted.

“Why does it have to be about god?” Dean scowled, folding his arms and perching on the arm of the couch opposite me. I shot him daggers, and he flinched.

_If looks could kill…_

“Can’t we have something meaning grace, noble, peace, or something more… middle-ground?” He continued quietly.

“Aaleyah means noble…” I nodded, half agreeing.

“I like Aaleyah” Charlie agreed quickly, still swaying with the baby in her arms.

Dean looked up at me hopefully, clearly agreeing on the name. Sighing, I remembered my oath; that all decisions would be mutual agreements and compromises.

_It isn’t exactly a holy name, but it isn’t exactly a non-holy name_

“The ‘leyah’ part is like princess Leia, from star wars” Charlie chirped happily to me.

“Okay, okay” I sighed “Aaleyah it is” I smiled slightly, the name growing on me “as long as Grace can be a second name. Or Eve, or…” I thought for a second “What about Phoebe Aaleyah?”

A smile spread across Dean’s face at the mention of the name Phoebe.

“Can we…?” He asked quietly. I nodded in agreement.

“Hello little Phoebe Aaleyah” Charlie cooed, poking the tip of her nose gently “you’re a little pure, bright, shining, noble baby according to your daddies”

“So, what are you plotting today?” Dean chuckled.

“Well, I have some supplies” She smiled, handing Phoebe Aaleyah to Dean gently. She walked over to the four huge bags she brought with her, which were left by the door “but you two gotta go out for an hour or something”

“…alright?” Dean frowned, looking over at me “we could go to the café, but we gotta take Phoebe”

“I’ll take care of her” Charlie quickly offered.

“If you’re sure…” I raised an eyebrow.

“It will be awesome” She grinned. I nodded to Dean to show my permission, to which he walked through to the kitchen, Phoebe Aaleyah still in his arms, Charlie trailing behind. I watched as Dean carefully adjusted Phoebe Aaleyah to rest gently in one arm, while he took out a bottle and the milk powder from the cupboard. One handed, he unscrewed the lid of the bottle, opened the lid of the powdered milk tub, and scooped a couple of spoons-full into the bottle. He poured the water in to the bottle, then screwed the lid on and put it in the microwave.

“How did you do that with one hand?” Charlie gawped.

“How do you put on a suit of armour by yourself?” He smirked. I smiled to myself, still admiring his parenting skills. Charlie chuckled, then watched as he took the bottle out, tipped it one-handed onto the same wrist to test the temperature, then handed it to Charlie.

“You want me to feed her?”

“Sure, here” He smiled, passing Phoebe Aaleyah to her carefully.

“How do I do this?”

“Exactly how you imagine. Make sure the air hole on the bottle is always facing up, otherwise it creates bubbles. After, you need to put a blanket under her chin and rub her back in case she has wind” he informed her, attaching one of the bibs loosely around Phoebe Aaleyah’s neck.

Dean and I left for the Café, and were greeted by our usual bacon cheeseburgers and coffee, courtesy of the manager Julia. The coffee vanished rather quickly.

“You two look exhausted”

“Thanks” Dean smiled sarcastically. Julia chuckled, and poured us both a second coffee.

“We had a baby” I informed her “It is exhausting”

“Oh my! Congrats!” her eyes were wide in shock and excitement “Boy or girl?”

“Girl, Phoebe Aaleyah” Dean grinned, clearly proud.

“Beautiful name”

“Thank you, she is very beautiful” I agreed.

“Where is she?”

“Charlie is looking after her, she ordered us out of our own place for an hour” Dean snorted.

“Anything special planned?”

“I want to get Phoebe Aaleyah Christened” I said informatively.

“And I don’t” Dean scowled. Julia looked from Dean to me, then smiled and walked off to sort out other customers and staff.

“We need to, Dean” I pleaded. Dean scoffed, and turned his head.

“I already compromised the name Dean, I have compromised a lot”

“I’ll think about it”

I was not convinced, but I ate my bacon cheese burger in silence.

“I’ll be the stay at home, if you like?” I offered after a short silence. Dean looked up at me.

“I think we should switch and change. For example, I have a full week, then you, then me…”

“Or I have 2 days, a babysitter in the middle, then you have 2 days, and then we spend the weekend together?” I suggested.

“We’ll work something out, Andrew and Sherry talked and let us have maternity leave. Apparently they couldn’t decide whether it was paternity, maternity, or which one of us gets which, so we both got paid maternity leave. 12 weeks with just you, me, and Phoebe”

“Sounds perfect” I smiled, taking a swig of coffee.

After we finished our food and coffee, Dean checked his watch, then pulled out his phone to text Charlie. Only a second later, his phone buzzed with a reply.

“We can head back now” He smiled, grabbing his leather jacket from the seat beside him.

I pulled on my beige trench coat, dropped the money and a tip on the table, and took hold of Dean’s hand to walk home.

“You will have to teach me to make the bottle one handed” I noted to Dean, walking through the main door he was holding open for me.

“I have good balance and reflexes, and I can multitask with ease. I guess it’s just the way I was brought up” He shrugged “but I could try to teach you”

I unlocked the front door to our apartment and let Dean in first, my winged key-ring swinging in the lock. I still had the painted monkey key Dean had given me, though I still wasn’t sure why he chose a monkey out of all the animals.

“Ta-da!” Charlie chorused, spinning in the middle of the room. Phoebe Aaleyah was strapped in her orange and blue seat, which was bouncing slightly. The walls were lined with various banners saying ‘congratulations’ and ‘it’s a girl’, and the coffee table had a pink table cloth with white hearts. There were a few pink balloons saying ‘it’s a girl’ floating around tied to pink curly ribbon, weighed down either side of the TV with heart-shaped weights. The ottomans were brought through from our bedroom and each had a tray of snacks; bowls with various chips, breadsticks, cucumber slices and carrot slices beside a tub of a variety of dips, a salad bowl, cocktail sticks with cheese cubes and pineapple, miniature burgers, miniature hot dogs, and miniature pizzas. The worktop below the TV was lined with a tonne of tiny cupcakes with pink swirly icing, topped with tiny wafer butterflies. There was a home-made banner stuck to the top of the TV saying “Welcome home baby Phoebe Aaleyah” in big pink bubble writing.

“This munchkin was no help” she joked, walking over the Phoebe Aaleyah.

“This is beautiful” I gawped, walking around the room.

“A bit…pink” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“It was either pink or blue, nowhere has your ‘gender neutral’ ideology Dean” Charlie laughed, scooping up Phoebe Aaleyah carefully and handing her to me. “Don’t you like it?”

“No, no… I love it” He finally smiled, gripping Charlie into a bear hug “thank you”.

“Now go put on something nice, I’ll dress Phoebe” She ordered, taking Phoebe Aaleyah from my arms again after I planted a soft kiss on her tiny nose.

We shuffled into our room, still confused as to what was going on. I gave Dean a look, as if asking if he knew the plans. He shrugged silently, then walked to the wardrobe.

Dean threw on his favourite greyish-green shirt and a new pair of light denim jeans, while I sported a maroon red shirt, borrowed from dean, with my darker denim jeans and a black tie.

“Why don’t you wear a tie, Dean?” I offered, rummaging through the seemingly endless pile of ties sprawled on the bed.

“With this green shirt? No thanks” He laughed, heading for the bedroom door.

“You really _are_ camp” I smirked, following suit.

We were met by Charlie struggling to dress Phoebe Aaleyah, groaning as the baby waved her arms out of the sleeve every time Charlie put it in.

“Your daughter is worse than me when it comes to dresses” She laughed.

“Let me try” I offered “I may need backup” I joked, pulling Dean with me.

Dean held Phoebe Aaleyah sitting up, one of his hands on her back, the other supporting her head, while I slipped the tiny white dress over her front. I then leant her front onto my hand, and made sure to support her head, which was resting sideways on my other hand.

“She has such squashy cheeks” I cooed, then watched as dean did up the tiny poppers up the back of the dress. We finally lay her on her back, where she wiggled, clearly not liking the dress. It wasn’t exactly overly girly, just a scoop-neck sleeveless plain white dress, with the pleats starting around the waistband and going past her tiny dimpled knees.

“Finishing touch” Charlie smiled, placing a tiny white headband around Phoebe Aaleyah’s forehead, which had a frilly white organza flower on one side, with fake pearls in the centre “I thought white was appropriate for an Angel baby, and it’s sort of gender neutral”

“I think she looks like a little princess” Dean cooed in a babyish voice, rubbing noses with her. Charlie and I were silent, looking at each other with a mix of mild concern and humour. Dean paused, straightened up and coughed nervously.

“So, what’s going on anyway” He asked Charlie, heading towards the food.

“ah ah ah” She tutted, stepping in his way “just wait”

I scooped Phoebe Aaleyah into my arms and took a seat in the arm chair. Dean perched on the arm of the chair, looking down at the angelic baby in my arms. Charlie walked into the kitchen, and returned a few minutes later carrying a few bottles of red, white and rose wine, a bottle of gin, and a couple of bottles of various whisky brands.

“You need any help?” Dean offered.

“Nope, stay there”

Dean looked like a puppy that had been scolded for no reason, but sat quietly, watching Charlie as she placed the bottles on a tray on the table, then returned again to the kitchen.

“I have never seen her like this” I whispered to Dean.

“It’s creepy… where’s our Charlie? The badass tomboy?” He joked quietly in response. We both laughed quietly, but stopped abruptly when Charlie walked back in carrying a large pink gift bag.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

“Perfect timing. Bang on 3 o’clock” Charlie chirped, opening the door “What’s up bitches?”

“Hey Charlie” Sam smiled, hugging her before walking in, slowly followed by a rather large-bellied Jess wearing a stretchy blue halter neck dress which covered her ankles. Sam was wearing a white shirt and blue striped tie to match Jess.

“Surprise!” Charlie grinned, turning to us “Baby shower!”

“Why would anyone want to be showered with babies?” I asked Dean quietly. He snickered, rolled his eyes, and got up to greet Sam.

“Whoa Jess, you’re looking great” He smiled, placing a hand carefully on her bloated belly.

“Six months” She beamed proudly “You still got to be a Daddy before your baby brother”

“It was as much a shock for us in all honesty” 

I got up and walked to the three of them, Charlie was still by the door.

“She is beautiful” Jess complimented, placing her forefinger in Phoebe Aaleyah’s palm.

“She looks a lot like you, which is weird” Sam frowned “You sure one of you isn’t a woman?” he teased, nudging Dean in the ribs.

“She has a mixture of our eyes I believe” I noted.

_She does look a lot like us. Strange._

“Can I hold her?” Jess asked, still smiling.

“Of course” I placed Phoebe Aaleyah in Jess’s arms carefully, who instantly began swaying with her and talking in a baby voice.

“You’re just the most precious little baby, yes you are” She cooed.

“Congrats bro” Sam pulled Dean into a bear hug, patting his back.

“Thanks man”

“And bro-in-law” He chuckled, hugging me too.

“Thank you Sam-” I began, but was interrupted by more knocks at the door.

A few people from work, including Carol, Sherry, Alan and Andrew, whom we were colleagues with, walked in carrying gift bags and cards. Charlie took the gifts and piled them beside the couch, next to hers, and one that Sam and Jess had brought.

“So glad you guys finally got to adopt” Carol smiled, taking off her coat “Luckily it’s a Friday, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to come” she gestured to the work colleagues.

“Glad you could come” Charlie greeted them all, taking their coats to hang up. I finally took Phoebe Aaleyah back into my arms. She seemed rather peaceful. After a few minutes of talking, and people cooing over Phoebe Aaleyah, Bobby, Jo and Ellen turned up.

“Come here you” Bobby grunted, pulling Dean into a one-armed bear hug.

“It means a lot that you’re here” He admitted.

“Couldn’t miss this milestone could I, ya idjit” Bobbly chuckled, then walked over to me “Been a while since I saw someone as tiny as you” He smiled down at Phoebe Aaleyah, taking her tiny hand in his. She made a bubbling sound, and looked up at him.

“Say hi to granddad” I teased. Bobby shot me a daggered look, then smiled.

“I don’t mind being granddad Bobby”

“Does that make me a grandma?” Helen looked offended, then smirked and leant on Bobby’s shoulder, admiring the baby.

“Hell yeah, I’m an aunt!” Jo cheered, hugging Dean, and then semi-hugging me from the side, being careful of Phoebe Aaleyah.

“She has too many aunts and uncles on my side” I laughed. And as if they heard me, just then, Charlie opened the door to Gabriel, Balthazar, Naomi, Hannah, and Chuck.

“Where’s the little mayhem-maker then?” Gabriel cheered, walking across the room.

“Oh God” Dean groaned. I flashed him a look, then turned to my family.

“Hey Gabe” I forced a smile.

Chuck placed a gift bag by the door, and Charlie introduced him to Carol and Sherry from work. Balthazar, Naomi, Hannah seemed to feel awkward in this situation, but Gabriel was grinning from ear to ear, which of course can’t be good.

“Gabe promised to be on his best behaviour” Hannah informed me.

“Not sure how that’s going to go down” Balthazar laughed, watching as Gabriel made funny faces at Phoebe Aaleyah in my arms.

“I’ll behave, it’s no fun until she can walk and cause mischief” he scoffed, standing upright again.

“Thank you for coming, it means a lot to have the families support” I noted.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t all come” Naomi replied, looking around.

“We wouldn’t fit” Gabriel joked, before walking off towards the food.

Julia turned up at that point, shortly followed by Ash and Garth.

“She is just as cute as I pictured” Julia beamed, getting a little too close to Phoebe Aaleyah’s face.

“She gets heavy after a while” I joked, adjusting my arms. Dean saw I was struggling, so came over to take her off my hands.

“How heavy was she?”

“The Police officers found no record of her birth, so they did everything there and worked out the rough time of birth for us. She was 7lb when the police had her. We adopted her at just 12 hours old” I informed Julia, though a few more people were listening.

“Your story is so sweet”

Kevin and Linda were the last to turn up, as Kevin was apparently revising for his high school exams. Charlie hugged them, offering drinks, then waved over at me.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Charlie called loudly, jumping on the spot.

Everyone slowly went silent and turned to face the host.

“Hey. So, we’re here to celebrate Dean and Cas starting a family with their new baby girl Phoebe Aaleyah, named religiously after pure, bright, shining, and noble meanings. Apparently. Anyways, help yourselves to food and drinks, and we will be opening presents shortly”

 


	25. Part 4 Chapter 5

“Thank you” I smiled as Jess handed me a parcel with bright pink paper covered with cartoon fairies and flowers. Dean looked at the paper as if it had personally offended him.

We had already received a tonne of baby clothes and winter wear, as well as blankets, and occasional boxes of nappies.

I tore open the paper to reveal a pale pink knitted hat, mitten, sock and scarf set. They had already got us a massive ‘congratulations’ card with a $20 gift card for a baby store.

“They’re adorable, thanks guys” Dean smiled at Sam and Jess, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

“Mine now” Charlie chirped, handing me the large gift bag. I pulled out handfuls of tissue paper to reveal a knitted games console controller.

“So she can be a gamer, just like her Aunty” Charlie smiled, sat on the arm of the couch.

“Finally, something _not_ pink” Dean laughed, waving the knitted controller in front of Phoebe Aaleyah, who was waving her arms around excitedly.

I once again pulled out more tissue paper from the bag, revealing a tiny pink t-shirt saying ‘Two dads are better than none’, another t-shirt saying ‘I have two dads to beat up all the boys who make me cry’ with a little lipstick mark underneath, and a third saying ‘My daddies are gay and my aunty is a lesbian, and I’m still 100% cooler than you’.

“I like the second one” Dean laughed as I placed them on top of the pile of clothes.

There were two more presents in the gift bag; a pair of fake leather baby boots, with white fur inside, and a foam sword which was smaller than a banana.

“So she can come to LARP with me” Charlie grinned, taking the now empty bag from me and tossing it aside, with all the other empty bags, envelopes, and wrapping paper.

Of course my brothers and sisters bought Phoebe Aaleyah a bible for kids, rosary beads, and a silver band bracelet with a crucifix engraved. However, Gabriel thought it would be funny to buy her an angel-wing shaped pillow. At least it wasn’t anything bad, like a stripper pole.

As everyone was tucking into snacks and drinks, talking amongst themselves, one particular conversation caught my ear. A few of my siblings were talking about Phoebe Aaleyah. I didn’t turn to look at them, instead I simply listened.

“She seems a bit… strange to me” Naomi whispered.

“Not entirely human” Hannah agreed.

“Can’t you two just let them be happy? Heaven knows Castiel deserves it after having his grace stolen” Balthazar defended me.

“I still can’t believe someone would do such a thing” Naomi gasped, the subject quickly changing to be about my grace. I chose this time to glance over my shoulder, causing them to be silent and pretend as if they were not just communing.

Balthazar poured himself a glass of wine and held it up to me in a silent toast before taking a sip.

“Everyone seems to love Phoebe” Dean smiled, sitting beside me and blocking my view of my family. He handed me a glass of wine, then wrapped his arm over my shoulder, taking a swig of his own wine in his other hand.

“I am glad” I smiled in response, taking a sip of wine as I looked around the room. Linda currently had Phoebe Aaleyah, and Gabriel made a mobile appear above her head, floating in mid-air and spinning, four tiny teddies swinging as it turned.

Dean walked over to Linda and scooped up our baby, who was babbling and wiggling her tiny limbs.

“Her dress is beautiful” Linda complimented, straightening Phoebe Aaleyah’s dress whilst she wiggled in Deans arms.

“Charlie bought it, she hated being put in it, but she seems fine now” Dean smiled in response, before walking over to Sam and Jess. Sam was drinking a glass of wine, and Jess had water.

“Say hey to your uncle, Phoebe” Dean grinned, kneeling in front of Sam and turning his arms slightly so she was facing Sam.

“Hey small-fry” Sam cooed in a baby voice, placing his finger in her tiny palm, which she instantly clasped, babbling gibberish happily.

“I have never seen such a quiet, happy baby. Does she cry much?” Jess asked, admiring Phoebe Aaleyah with maternal eyes.

“She sleeps right through the night, only whinges a little when she’s hungry”

I walked over and placed my hand on Dean’s shoulder, looking down at our beautiful baby.

“Only a couple of years ago, you were a straight loner guy wearing band shirts and drinking beer” Charlie laughed, ruffling Dean’s hair as she walked past.

“Watch it” Dean warned playfully.

“Little daddy Dean” She cooed, skipping across the room.

Chuckling, I kissed the top of Dean’s head, before backing up to allow him to stand. Phoebe Aaleyah started to turn pink and whinge, not quite a cry, but she was fussing.

“I’ll sort her” Dean smiled, carrying her through to our room to change her diaper.

The rest of the party went quickly, people exchanging conversations and stories, holding Phoebe Aaleyah, or giving us cards and gifts. Charlie helped clean up before leaving, and Sam and Jess left last, having caught up with the latest news and gossip.

“I’m glad you’re finally happy. Now you can bring up a baby properly, not how we were” Sam smiled before leaving with Jess. Dean nodded in agreement and waved them off, me by his side.

Phoebe Aaleyah had fallen asleep and was currently curled up on the couch. I scooped her up and walked through to our room, placing her gently in her crib. Turning, I was met face to face with Dean, who quickly kissed me, before taking hold of my hand and leading me back into the living room. He lay me down on the couch, kissing my neck softly as he climbed on top of me, legs straddling my waist. I sighed, the feeling was amazing after a few days of hardly any contact. Dean had begun undoing my buttons and working his soft kisses down my chest, when crying echoed through from our bedroom. Dean groaned, resting his forehead on my chest, then sat up.

“Maybe tomorrow” I shrugged, getting to my feet and walking through to our bedroom.

Halloween was soon upon us. Although we lived in an apartment block, everyone celebrated. The kids from the building would trick-or-treat each apartment. We bought some small pumpkins from the store, as well as various decorations.

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing it properly” I had told Dean. He argued that when he was a hunter, every day was Halloween, but agreed anyway.

Phoebe Aaleyah was sat in her bouncy chair, still in her pyjama suit. It was quite early, though I knew Dean had been up a lot earlier than 7am on a holiday before. Dean and I were sat on the floor, a sheet of tarpaulin underneath us. Dean had found one of his old knives, and started cutting away at a tiny pumpkin.

“How do I do this?” He grumbled, clearly struggling as pumpkin juice spattered him. Laughing, I took hold of a pumpkin and a kitchen knife.

“Cut the top off” I explained, demonstrating before pulling out the inside juices of the pumpkin.

“That’s disgusting!” He gasped “Don’t watch Phoebe, Daddy is killing and mutilating a pumpkin!”

“Put the insides in this bowl so I can make pumpkin soup later” I laughed, scooping the seeds and juices into a plastic bowl next to me. Dean grumbled, then started to scoop out the middle of his own pumpkin.

Once the several pumpkins were emptied, I took the bowl into the kitchen to store for later. Dean took Phoebe Aaleyah to change her diaper, before joining me in the kitchen, where I had prepared some broccoli and cauliflower cheese. Dean put Phoebe Aaleyah in her high chair beside the countertop, and grabbed the bowl of food. I sat on the counter and watched, admiring my family.

“Look what Daddy made for you sweetie” Dean cooed, then gasped as he showed it her, as if it was a newly discovered food “Om nom nom” He smiled, scooping some up with her spoon “Cheesy!” He put the spoon towards Phoebe Aaleyah’s face, but she turned away.

“Oh come on” Dean frowned, no longer in his baby voice “You love this stuff”

“I think she’s seen you eating junk and knows it’s not what Daddy would eat” I teased, jumping to my feet to help out.

“Well she can’t exactly eat a burger and fries, can she?”

“We could blend it up” I suggested, taking hold of the bowl of gooey cheesy food.

“We’re gonna have a fat kid” Dean laughed, sitting on the counter and letting me take over.

“Not if we mix it up a bit”

Phoebe Aaleyah turned to me and finally allowed me to feed her, after poking her shut mouth a few times with the spoon. She must have decided she would rather eat the mush than starve.

Once Phoebe Aaleyah was fed, and dosing off again in her bouncy chair, we went back to work on the pumpkins for later.

“This is the hard part, but you’re good with a knife” I explained, carving out two eyes and a grumpy mouth with fangs. I turned the pumpkin round and showed Dean, who raised his eyebrow.

“Is that it?”

“Hey!” I frowned, jokingly offended “This is a work of art”

Dean laughed lightly “If you say so”. He picked up his knife and went to work on the pumpkins, occasionally looking over at mine as I carved them.

“Done” Dean panted, sitting back, exhausted.

“One down, three to go” I winked, pushing another towards him.

“Oh come on, you’ve done three!”

“Catch up then” I teased, wiping my hands on a cloth.

“This is harder than it looks” He scowled, looking down as he started on another pumpkin.

“I’ll help” I offered, taking one.

About an hour later, once the pumpkins were all carved, we placed a tea light in each.

“These jack o’ lanterns are kinda creepy” Dean admitted, holding one face-height with himself and scowling at it cautiously.

We placed one on top of the fridge, one on the kitchen work top against the back wall, one on the corner of the worktop opposite, one of the floor beside the archway into the kitchen, one on the coffee table, and two on the wooden unit- one either side the TV.

“I know you wanted to dress Phoebe Aaleyah as one of your rock idols-”

“Or an angel” Dean interrupted me.

“Or an angel” I frowned, then continued “But I found a costume, and I thought it would be adorable”

“What is it? Not one of those fat pumpkin suits, or a ghost…”

“Not quite” I smiled, picking up a bag I had hid behind the couch against the wall. I pulled out a dress with a red flared skirt with black polka-dots and a black sleeveless torso, red woollen tights with black polka-dots, little matching wings, and a red headband with two black antennas.

“A lady bug?” Dean raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“Don’t you like it?” I gasped. Dean saw the look of hurt on my face, and sighed.

“I guess it could look cute” He took the outfit from me and wrestled with Phoebe Aaleyah to put her in it. He put the little wings on last, as he had to sit her up to put them on.

“She looks adorable” I smiled, putting the headband on her.

“She looks…” Dean scowled, unable to find words. I glared at him, so he gave up. “Can we take the wings off for now? In case she breaks them”

“Yeah” I shrugged, helping Phoebe Aaleyah get her arms out of the elastic straps. “Wait til you see our costumes” I smiled at Dean, who had took the wings and was on his way to put them on the couch. Dean faltered.

“Our costumes?” He turned, wide-eyed, as if I had just shot Bambi’s mom myself.

“Well yeah, we can’t just go out like this” I laughed, heading to our bedroom.

“You’re toying with me, right?” He panicked, following me closely. I turned when I got to the bed, reached under and pulled out a bag.

“You can blame yourself for this” I smirked, and pulled out the angel wings he had bought me a while back. His eyes narrowed. “Don’t worry, I’m the angel” I smirked.

“Then what am I?”

Dean looked as though he knew he would regret asking, so I pulled out a set of sparkly devil horns on a headband, a red pitchfork, and a devils tail attached to a belt.

“Classic” He rolled his eyes.

“Come on Dean, don’t be a spoil sport. I have to wear a headband too” I noted, pulling out a headband with wire sticking from the top, and a fluffy halo attached to that.

“I hate you for this” He growled.

“No you don’t” I smirked, handing him the accessories. Dean snatched them, and stormed out.

“You suck” I heard him call from the other room.

 

      

I walked through to the kitchen, passing Dean who was rummaging through decorations, and poured a variety of candy into a huge plastic jack o’ lantern bowl. Dean grabbed the fake spider webs and lay them across the top of the TV, and any other surface he could find. He also sprinkled some tiny plastic spiders into the webs. I placed a few little LED ghosts, LED Frankenstein heads, and LED pumpkins around where the light from the jack o’ lanterns wasn’t quite reaching, and threw black blankets embroidered with spider web shapes over the couches.

“Wanna help me make some snacks?” I asked, walking past Dean who was playing with Phoebe Aaleyah on her play mat, letting her hit the fake spider webs which were draped over the top. He didn’t respond to my question, so I figured he was angry that I was going to make him dress up.

“You can lick the spoons and bowls” I called, walking into the kitchen smiling. Dean jumped up and followed me hurriedly.

We made our own Halloween version of rice-crispy cakes, using broken up Shreddies and white chocolate so they resembles spider webs. We used liquorice boiled candy to represent spider bodies with liquorice laces for legs, and placed one in the middle of each white chocolate Shreddies cake.

Dean rolled out some orange and white icing, and I wrapped bits of the icing around marshmallows. The white ones I decorated with black piping icing to make them look like ghosts, and the orange ones I decorated with green piping icing to look like pumpkins.

Dean insisted on some healthy snacks, because he didn’t want Phoebe Aaleyah to get fat. He said we already spoiled her. I must admit, I was confused, since I have never known Dean to eat healthy. Sam must be rubbing off on him. I quickly covered the kitchen work tops in various pieces of fabric; red, purple, cobweb-pattern, checked, anything I could find to reduce the clean-up time later.

Agreeing with Dean, I cut some small bananas in half, and peeled whole satsumas. I put a little piece of celery in the top of each satsuma, making them look like pumpkins, and used chocolate to draw ghost-faces on the bananas. I cut some cheese-strings into small pieces, flared each piece on one end, and stuck a twiglet in the other end, making them look like broom sticks.

“Perfect” I smiled, placing the fruit on one plate, the marshmallows on another, and the cheese brooms on a smaller plate by themselves, unsure whether they should be on the healthy or unhealthy plate. Finally, to please Dean’s weird new obsession with healthy eating, I used the orange peels, which I had got off whole except the top, to make mini jack o’ lanterns filled with grapes, blueberries, slices of strawberries, and cubes of melon and pineapple.

I made an array of other Halloween-themed food, such as yellow and orange bell peppers cut to look like jack o’ lanterns and stuffed with salad, hot dogs wrapped loosely in pastry and faces drawn on in sauce to look like mummies, carrot sticks shaped like fingers sticking out of various pots of dips, meatballs and cheese balls with cocktail sticks for legs, a bowl of figs and dates that looked like cockroaches, and various sandwiches cut into the shapes of ghosts, witches hats, and tombstones with names on.

“Don’t you think this is a bit overboard?” Dean asked as I stirred the pumpkin soup.

“Why do you say that?” I frowned, taking a sip from the ladle before continuing to stir it.

“Phoebe won’t even remember this”

“Maybe not, but you will” I smiled. Dean looked confused, so I continued “You never had a Halloween as a child, this is your chance to have one, with your own child. It will be a new experience for both of you”

“Thank you” Dean smiled after a short silence, and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

I poured the soup into a jack o’ lantern shaped bowl, and put it to one side, then went to the fridge to get out the brain-shaped jello I made earlier.

“Looks good” Dean complemented, picking up a cheesy witches broom.

“Ah ah ah” I tutted, taking it off him and putting it on the plate “Not yet”

                                       

It was around 2pm when a few friends started to show up. I invited Charlie, and she suggested I make it a party. So I had told the people at work who liked us to bring their kids.

Carol, Sherry, Alan and Andrew were a few of the people who turned up. We recognised everyone from work, as about 15 people showed up, having spoken a few times to the various women when they wanted us as gay best friends, whatever that was supposed to mean.

“Hey Carol” I smiled, walking over as the angel halo bobbed on top of my head. Carol had on a white dress which was splattered red.

“Hey, this is brill. The work Halloween do is awful, so we cancelled it this year. Glad you picked it up”

“Dead bride?” Dean smiled, joining us. He was wearing the costume I got for him, as well as dark jeans and his red shirt. I wore my white shirt and black smart trousers.

“My old wedding dress. My ex-husband wanted to sell it so he could afford his rent, so I kept it for a costume. Obviously the better option”

Dean and Carol laughed, and wandered off to talk to some other colleagues.

“Castiel” Sherry called me over “I want you to meet my little monster, Alison. She’s six next week” Sherry chuckled, looking down at the little girl she was holding hands with. I knelt down and smiled.

“Hey Alison, I’m Cas. I love your witch costume”

Alison shied away behind her mother, who was wearing a black dress and witches hat, similar to her daughter, which I thought was sweet.

“There’s snacks in the kitchen. We have some juice and milk cartons wrapped in white paper to look like mummies, it was Deans idea” I chuckled. Sherry thanked me, and led her daughter through.

Alan and Andrew had brought their wives, or girlfriends. Andrew, our boss, had a smaller boy hiding behind him, and his partner was carrying a baby wrapped in a white blanket which was tied around her. She was also wearing white trousers and white top, and had white fabric wrapped around her ankles and wrists, and a white bow tied in her hair. I found it amusing that she was a mom-mummy. Andrew had fake Frankenstein bolts on his neck, and some scars drawn on his face and hands. The child behind Andrew, who was clearly his son, was wearing a Frankenstein mask and green t-shirt with a black tattered waist coat over the top. He looked about nine or ten years old. The baby was quite big, so must have been about one.

A couple of women from work were hovering close to the door, so I decided to head over. They were both wearing torn tank-tops with fake blood splatters, and had back-combed hair and white contact lenses in.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Hey Castiel” One of them smiled, and brushed her messy dark hair behind her ear. I recognised her as Natalie from work after looking past the zombie makeup. To her left was a pushchair, with a little boy drinking from a Sippy cup “This is my nephew, Joshua. I’m the lead babysitting aunt, so I thought it would be nice to bring him. He’s just over two years”

“Hey Joshua, we have lots of treats in the kitchen” I smiled down at him, then up at Natalie “Help yourselves to snacks, there’s a punch bowl in the kitchen too, and some wine if you’d prefer alcohol”

“Thanks Cas” The other woman, Miranda, smiled. They headed to the kitchen, and I worked my way around the room, talking to various people, their kids, nieces, and nephews.

Joanna from work had been off on maternity leave. Her daughter was now about six months, so we sat her with Phoebe Aaleyah on the play mat, who was propped up with pillows behind her little lady-bug wings.

“I love her costume” Joanna smiled, giving her own daughter a pacifier with fangs on.

“I like your daughters vampire costume” I grinned in response, noting the tiny cape and slicked back hair, clipped back with a bat-shaped hair pin.

“Charlie, you’re here” I heard Dean call. I spun around, and Charlie was just walking through the door in her LARP costume.

“What’s up bit-” She stopped herself, then shrugged and pulled Dean into a hug. I jogged over and joined in with the hug.

“Loving the get-up” Dean teased.

“You look hotter” She winked, pulling on his devil tail. I chuckled, and led her through to the kitchen to grab a drink.

“Work held me up”

“You were working today?”

“Yeah, I thought I might as well turn up, since you two hardly do” She joked “Maybe I should have a kid, just to get a holiday”

“It’s harder than it looks” I sighed, pouring two glasses of wine.

“I know, I’m kidding” She took her glass. I poured another for Dean as he walked in the room.

“I gotta admit Cas, this is alright” He shrugged, taking his drink and leaning on the counter.

“Told you that you’d enjoy it” I smirked, sipping my wine before heading back into the living room. I had allowed Dean to play his classic rock music, though not very loud, since I felt that Halloween was a good night for Rock ‘n’ Roll.

The party went well, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. All the food was eaten, even the pumpkin soup and fruity snacks. Everyone left between 4pm and 5pm, wanting to take their kids out trick-or-treating, or wanting to get back before the trick-or-treating began. A few kids did knock during the party, and each received a handful of candy from the bowl I kept by the door.

Charlie was of course the last to leave after the party, offering to help us clean up. There wasn’t a lot of cleaning, since we used disposable plates and cutlery.

“These witch brooms are awesome” She noted, picking up the leftovers and eating them.

“I know right” Dean agreed through a mouthful of left-over snacks. I smiled and threw the now-empty plates in the bin.

“Time to go out on the town” I grinned, brushing off my hands.

“I’ll head off, I have a World of Warcraft game waiting for me” Charlie chirped, hugging us both. She walked through to Phoebe Aaleyah, who was on the couch, propped up by cushions.

“See ya later munchkin” She smiled, gently ruffling Phoebe Aaleyah’s hair before heading to the door. Phoebe Aaleyah let out a gurgled squeal of excitement, and her eyes trailed Charlie as she left.

Dean picked up Phoebe Aaleyah, and I grabbed the folded pram from our room. We headed downstairs, and outside. I unfolded the pram, which I had decorated with a string of LED ghost lights, and Dean placed Phoebe Aaleyah in it. We had decided to turn to car seat part around, so she could face outwards at the street. Door steps were lined with decorations and jack o’ lanterns, and kids ran around with bags of candy, some parents running after their little monsters.

A few moms cooed at Phoebe Aaleyah as they walked past. Dean was pushing the pushchair, and a few women looked at him as if he was a single dad. I scowled at them, but they paid me no attention, giggling to each other like little kids once they had passed us.

“Why are dad’s pushing their daughters seemingly the hottest thing?” Dean asked, not looking at me, but instead focusing on where he was walking.

“Because you are?” I smirked.

“Jokes aside, Cas” He frowned.

“I don’t know, single Dads bonding with daughters is apparently cute”

“But I’m not single” He raised an eyebrow, then looked around.

“Just looking at us, you wouldn’t guess we’re a couple. You’re the most macho thing on this planet, and I’m a… what was it?” I thought back to when I was bullied at work, when I first started all those years ago “A dorky accountant in a trench coat”

Dean stifled a laugh, so I scowled at him.

“Fag!” A young teen yelled, hurling an egg towards us. It hit Dean in the arm, smashing on his favourite leather coat. Dean looked at it, then at the kid, who was backed up by two friends. He started towards them, stepping around the pram.

“Oh, hell no! You did not just-”

“Dean, no” I objected, placing my hand on his chest and looking into his eyes.

“Did you hear what he called me?” Dean growled, not looking at me.

“I did” I noted “But he’s a kid”

“Little shit best run before I remember his face” Dean yelled, his voice low and alpha-male like. The boys scattered pushing each other as they ran.

“Dean, calm down. Think about Phoebe Aaleyah, she’s watching this”

Dean eyes softened, and he took a tissue I was holding for him, wiping the egg from his sleeve. He turned and smiled at our baby, then walked around to take hold of the pram handles again.

“Thank you” I whispered, kissing his cheek before we carried on walking.

We stopped at the nearest house, and I knocked. Dean looked a little flustered, clearly nervous.

“What if they don’t like people?”

I laughed, and looked at him “Dean, it’s Halloween. Just relax”

The door swung open, and a woman with a witches hat and apron with a black cat on stood in the doorway, holding a huge bowl of candy apples.

“Aww, aren’t you the cutest little lady-bug” She smiled, handing Phoebe Aaleyah a candy apple “and two for the cutest Daddies” She looked up at us, and held out two more apples.

“Thank you” I smiled, putting the apples in a plastic pumpkin-shaped basket I had brought with us.

“Wait, so this is free?” Dean asked, looking into the basket after the door had closed.

“Yes” I half-laughed, then led him to the next door. Phoebe Aaleyah was gurgling away in her pram, trying to suck on the candy apple, drool dripping down her chin.

When the pumpkin basket was full of candy, and Phoebe Aaleyah was starting to drift off, candy apple stuck to her face, we decided to head home.

We put the candy in the kitchen, cleaned Phoebe Aaleyah’s face and Dean changed her into some pink pyjama Babygro’s. She fell to sleep while being changed, which was a miracle. Then again, it had been a long day. Dean placed Phoebe Aaleyah in her crib, then lay back on the bed, clearly exhausted. I smiled down at him, then crawled my way up his body, kissing every inch.

“I like this costume” I whispered. Dean moaned quietly, eyes closed.

“It would look better on the floor” He objected. I nodded in agreement, and took off his horns. Then I unzipped his jeans and pulled them off to get rid of the tail. I looked down in admiration at my beautiful human, taking in every inch of his perfect body. My eyes drifted down and I smiled, before taking off my angel wings and halo. I kissed Deans stomach, and looked up. His chest was slowly rising and falling. Frowning, I sat up.

“Dean?”

There was no response. I smiled, and undressed him, then myself, before pulling the duvet over us both and getting comfortable.

“Goodnight to you too” I chuckled quietly, wrapping my arms around my sleeping husband.

The next few weeks flew by, and Phoebe Aaleyah could already hold her head up without assistance, though not for very long. She was already trying to roll. She would turn her head while lying down and try to make her body follow, but she was still too small.

Dean had Phoebe Aaleyah on the changing mat, which was on the table between the door and the window in our room. Her crib was the other side of the door, beside the wardrobe. I was laying on the bed, leaning against the headboard, a baby book in hand.

“Daddy hasn’t got laid in weeks because of you. No he hasn’t, no he hasn’t” Dean cooed, looking down at Phoebe Aaleyah who was squirming as he changed her diaper.

“Dean” I half laughed, attempting to sound stern.

“What?” He frowned over at me “She can’t understand me” He defended himself, fastening the diaper before blowing a sloppy raspberry on Phoebe Aaleyah’s little belly.

“Who’s a little cock-block? You are! Yes you are, yes you are. Just the cutest little cock-block in the world” Dean continued to coo at her, fastening the poppers of her Babygro. I rolled my eyes and went back to reading.

“Dean, it says here she shouldn’t be rolling or holding her head up for a while yet”

“Maybe they mixed up her birthday?” He suggested, struggling with Phoebe Aaleyah to get her legs into her woollen tights.

“No, they didn’t” I assured him.

“Then I guess we have a little genius here” Dean smiled down at the now-clothed Phoebe Aaleyah, wiggling her tiny feet with his hands.

I looked her over dubiously, then walked to the kitchen to prepare her some milk. I grabbed myself a chocolate yoghurt and sat on the kitchen counter with it, waiting for Dean to bring her in. He picked up the bottle and began feeding our baby. She didn’t take her eyes off my yoghurt. She pushed the bottle away, fussing.

“Come on” Dean groaned, trying to get her to take it. She just continued to fuss and watch me eat. Dean looked over at me, stuck his finger in the yoghurt, and fed Phoebe Aaleyah the chocolate off his finger. She licked it clean. Phoebe Aaleyah

“She isn’t supposed to have any other food yet, she’s only just a month old” I objected, watching as he managed to successfully feed her the bottle again.

“She clearly wanted some” He shrugged, not taking his eyes off Phoebe Aaleyah.

I rolled my eyes and finished my yoghurt, then went to make some coffee.

That night, Phoebe Aaleyah wouldn’t stop crying. We tried to feed her, change her, bathe her, and even play games with her.

“Why won’t she stop?” Dean growled, covering his ears with his hands and looking down at the pink baby, eyes scrunched and her gummy mouth wide and bawling.

“How am I supposed to know?” I snapped, flicking through one of the books “She has never been like this before”

“Damn it Cas” Dean yelled, grabbing Phoebe Aaleyah and placing her upright against his chest, her tiny head looking over his shoulder. She waved her arms around, still crying, as he patted her back lightly “What do I do?”

I shook my head, lost for ideas. Dean began to bounce around the room lightly, patting her back. Just then, he burst into song.

“And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles” His singing was loud at first, but as Phoebe Aaleyah’s crying died down, his voice softened “Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one. Happiness, no more be sad, happiness, I'm glad. If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.” His voice grew quieter as he rocked and bounced lightly around the room, gently rubbing Phoebe Aaleyah’s back as she went silent.

I had never really heard Dean sing before. He occasionally sang along to the songs in the car, but never ‘A Capella’ or unprompted. Dean gently lay Phoebe Aaleyah in her crib. She was already snoring quietly. He let out a long sigh, and stood upright, before turning to me.

“Bed?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Couch” I grinned cheekily, before walking out the room.

“You have a beautiful voice” I complemented, curled up to Deans side as he was spread eagle on the living room floor. He grunted in response, playing nonchalantly with my hair.

“This floor is cold” He whispered after a while, pushing me off gently and sitting up.

“I think it really is bed time” I smiled, wiping sweat from my brow before gathering up the lube and condoms and heading into our room, shortly followed by a well-toned naked Dean.

The next month flew by, it was only a couple of days to Christmas, and I had gone shopping for more baby supplies. I unlocked the front door, about to call out, when I saw Dean laying on the couch, Phoebe Aaleyah Sleeping on his chest, her tiny head nestled just below his chin, her legs curled up and her tiny hands clinging to his black shirt.

I smiled softly as Dean lifted his finger to his lips, silencing me, before looking down at our baby. I took the shopping through to the kitchen, and opened up the fridge. I made four sandwiches, two for me and two for dean, as well as getting out a tiny fruit yoghurt and a bottle of milk. Once everything was made, I placed them on a tray and walked through to the living room. I quietly placed the tray down on the coffee table, and turned to Dean.

His eyes were closed, and his chest was rising and falling slowly.

_He looks so peaceful. I can’t wake him…_

Eventually, after admiring Dean for a few minutes, I kissed his forehead softly. His eyes fluttered open, and he scrunched his freckled nose up. Phoebe Aaleyah Stretched and scrunched up her lightly freckled nose too.

“Like Daddy like daughter” I chuckled, handing Dean his sandwich. I took hold of Phoebe Aaleyah and sat her in her baby rocker, handing her a bottle. She took it, and was holding it herself.

“It really isn’t normal for her to be doing this already” I scowled, watching her.

“Then take her to the doctors or something?”

“What if it’s something… unusual” I sighed, remembering my deal with Antonio all those months ago. Dean looked up at me, mouth full of sandwich filling.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, just, not human?”

“Like a Demon?”

“No” I objected quickly “Just… not entirely human”

“Even better” Dean grunted, wiping his mouth. I raised an eyebrow inquisitively at him.

“Just means she fits in with us perfectly” He continued, brushing crumbs off his shirt.

I smiled slightly, and sat beside him, tucking into my sandwich. Once Phoebe Aaleyah finished her milk, I fed her the yoghurt with her pink baby spoon.

Phoebe Aaleyah cried the next day too. I had just bathed her, and wrapped her in a white towel, placing her on the white fluffy bed spread across our bed. She wriggled around, opened her mouth, scrunched up her face, and let out a deafening cry.

“I think she’s teething” Dean noted, running in, eyes glued to a book he had in his hands.

“Well, make it stop” I groaned, hands over my ears.

“I sang last time” He scowled, placing the book down and holding Phoebe Aaleyah’s tiny hand in his. The screaming got louder, so I looked down dubiously at our crying baby.

“Phoebe Aaleyah, why do you have to be so fussy?”

“She really is like you” Dean half-laughed before turning to find her some clothes. Once his back turned, Phoebe Aaleyah opened her eyes, and they glowed. Not quite like an angel glow, as mine had before. But they were darker, more of a dull white.

“Nephilim” I muttered under my breath, as Phoebe Aaleyah closed her eyes once again and fell silent just as Dean turned to scoop her up.


	26. Part 4 Chapter 6

I wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to tell Dean. I didn’t want to tell him about the deal with Antonio, he would kill me. But I also couldn’t keep Phoebe Aaleyah’s secret much longer. She was growing and learning quicker than other babies.

I paced the room, waiting for Dean to return from the store.

“Broken a bowl again?” I heard Dean laugh. I turned to face him in the doorway. He was smiling, carrying a few large bags of presents in one hand, and holding the car seat by the handle in the other, Phoebe Aaleyah gurgling happily inside. He tossed his keys onto the couch and placed the presents and car seat down, crouching and unstrapping Phoebe Aaleyah.

“Sorry” I smiled “I was just anxious. I’m not used to being away from Phoebe Aaleyah”

“Over-protective mother syndrome” Dean joked, gently handing her to me.

“Hey sweetie, Daddy missed you” I grinned, looking down into her perfect sea-green eyes.

“Other Daddy treated her to a lick of his chocolate ice cream in the park” Dean chuckled, stroking her silky dark blonde hair softly.

“Daddy spoils you” I gasped in a babyish voice, holding Phoebe Aaleyah up to touch noses with me, her tiny legs dangling and kicking excitedly. Dean smirked his beautiful lob-sided smile, and headed for the kitchen.

Phoebe Aaleyah seemed happy for the rest of the day, rolling onto her front and turning in circles to explore her play mat, drinking endless amounts of milk, stealing spoonful’s of whatever we were eating just by looking at us with her big round eyes. But that night, the crying started again.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Dean yelled, running in to where her crib was. I groaned, climbing up from the couch where Dean had pinned me.

“I got this” I smiled, scooping up Phoebe Aaleyah in her pink blanket and holding her to my chest, rocking her gently as I began to sing softly to her “Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free. Flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me. It's like a light of a new day, it came from out of the blue. Breaking me out of the spell I was in, making all of my wishes come true”.

Christmas was more stressful than the previous years. It wasn’t as easy as setting up a tree with some lights when you had a teething baby who wanted to grab anything within reach.

We had to sit Phoebe Aaleyah on the couch so she couldn’t trash the decorations, but she seemed very happy there, playing with a teething toy we had bought her.

Once the tree was up, Dean wrapped the tinsel and lights around the tree, while I hung baubles on the branches. Dean scooped up Phoebe Aaleyah, holding her to face the tree. I placed the string of a pink bauble in her hand, and we helped her put it on a middle branch so it was in clear view.

The light pink bauble hung from white organza ribbon, with gold and white tinsel wrapped around the base joining the ribbon to the bauble. There were a few charms also attached, red love hearts, lilac stars, pink stockings, and the word ‘baby’ in pink and white bubble writing. Written on the bauble, in bright pink writing, was “Baby’s 1st Christmas”.

Dean placed a silver star on top of the tree, then bustled around to make sure it was perfect.

We placed all the wrapped presents underneath the tree. I had shown Dean how to professionally wrap them, but of course I let him do some himself in his signature scruffy style.

There were a few larger gifts for Phoebe Aaleyah, and several small ones, as well as several for myself and Dean. We had gone shopping on different days to make sure the gifts for each other, and from Phoebe Aaleyah, were a surprise. When I was shopping with Phoebe Aaleyah, I had held her up to help choose something for Dean out of a few options I had pre-picked.

“Done” Dean smiled, dusting off his hands and admiring the tree covered with decorations and lights. I looked around at the various Christmas ornaments and decorations around the living room, and nodded in agreement. The couch was covered with a red cover, with tiny green Christmas trees printed around the hem, and there was a small matching table cloth covering the coffee table.

“It’s perfect”

I put the Christmas dinner in the slow cooker so it would be ready for the next day, and grabbed some snacks from the cupboard.

“Film time?” I suggested, settling on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, Cheetos, microwaved nachos, a couple of bottles of beer and a bottle of milk.

“We need some relaxation time. Being a Dad is exhausting” Dean agreed, sitting beside me, Phoebe Aaleyah next to him, propped up by cushions.

“Here you go princess” He smiled, handing Phoebe Aaleyah her bottle. Dean opened the bottles of beer, handing one to me, before taking a swig of his own.

“This is the life” He sighed, placing the bowl of nachos on his lap and putting his feet up on the table. He flicked through the channels with the remote, settling on a movies channel, then tossed the remote aside, being careful of Phoebe Aaleyah beside him.

I smiled at him, placing the bowl of popcorn between us, and holding the Cheetos on my lap, before putting my feet up too.

“Couldn’t be better” I agreed, taking a nacho from his bowl and eyeing the film on the screen, which was almost finished.

Phoebe Aaleyah finished her bottle during the break between films.

“Try her with one of these” I smiled, handing Dean a Cheeto. He placed the Cheeto in Phoebe Aaleyah’s hand, who instantly shoved it in her mouth, sucking on it until it was orange mush. Dean laughed at her, wiping the orange drool from her chin with a tissue.

“I think she likes them” He commented “Glad we covered the white couch”

“White is an awful colour to have around kids” I smirked.

“We need more bedrooms anyway, we can start looking after Christmas”

“Really?” My eyes lit up.

“Consider it a joint Christmas present for all of us” Dean smiled in response.

“Speaking of presents, I have an early one for our little munchkin here” I smiled, reaching under the couch to pull out a bag. I handed it to Dean, who laughed. I raised my eyebrow curiously.

“So did I” He smiled, reaching under his side of the couch, trying not to push Phoebe Aaleyah off.

I grinned, and pulled out a pink, and very fluffy, stocking with a pink bow around the folded hem, with a teddy bear in the middle wearing a Santa hat, and building blocks spelling out ‘Baby’.

Dean rolled his eyes at all the pink fluffy-ness, but pulled out an equally pink Santa hat from his bag, with ‘Baby’s 1st Christmas’ across the white hem.

“I thought you hated pink” I quipped.

“It’s growing on me” He shrugged, carefully slipping the tiny hat onto Phoebe Aaleyah’s head.

“I’ll hang the stocking up with ours” I noted, walking over and hanging the stocking onto one of the hooks, which were hanging from one of the shelves beside the TV.

Once the film was finished, and Phoebe Aaleyah had eaten half her weight in Cheetos, though I’m sure most of the orange mush was on her and the couch, we decided it was time for bed.

“Come on princess” Dean cooed, cleaning Phoebe Aaleyah before scooping her up in his arms. She squealed in delight, and cuddled into his chest. I turned off the TV and light, and followed them into the bedroom. Dean changed her diaper while I brushed my teeth, then he let me dress her while he brushed his teeth.

“She’s getting big” I noted, laying Phoebe Aaleyah down in her crib.

“You’re a lump, aren’t you?” He smirked, ticking her belly lightly. She gurgled and shoved her hand in her mouth, eyes slipping closed.

“Goodnight my sweet princess” Dean smiled softly, kissing her forehead. I kissed her nose, and we clambered into bed.

“Goodnight Dean” I sighed into his back, itching my stubble into his spine. He wriggled slightly.

“Goodnight Cas”

                                  

“Morning sleeping beauty” I smiled down at Dean, holding a mug of coffee out to him. His eyes flickered open slowly, and he scrunched his lightly freckled nose up.

“Morning” He yawned, taking the coffee and admiring the mug “I love this batman mug. This was from our first Christmas together?”

I nodded, walking over to Phoebe Aaleyah, who was stretching. She had the teddies from our previous celebrations at the other end of her crib, the large angel teddy Dean had got me the first Christmas was in the middle of the pile, and the Velcro-handed monkey belonging to Dean hung around the rail of the crib.

I smiled down at her, taking a sip from my own batman mug which I had got for my birthday from Dean, the same time he gave me a key to the apartment.

I heard a whirring and turned on the spot, to see Dean driving his remote control car from under the bed, to stop just in front of my fuzzy-rainbow-sock feet. On top of the car, was a stack of cards and envelopes, tied down with red ribbon.

“Thank you” I smiled at Dean, untying the ribbon and picking up the cards. I flicked through, and threw a few to Dean.

“Cheers”

We opened the cards from friends and family, and some from colleagues, then placed them in a pile on the bedside table. A few people had sent us money or vouchers for Phoebe Aaleyah, which we put in a separate pile.

I’m not sure how, but I convinced Dean to let me dress Phoebe Aaleyah while he went to put the empty mugs in the kitchen.

I dressed her in a red tutu with white tights, a white t-shirt with a cartoon penguin on the front wearing sticks as antlers, with red and green writing underneath saying ‘ My First Christmas’. I also put a white headband with red frilly flower on her, tilted to the side.

“Beautiful” I smiled, scooping her up into a loving embrace “My little girl”

“Our poor baby” Dean chuckled, adjusting the tutu “What did I let you do?”

Dean threw on some jeans and a plain red t-shirt, while I sported a white jumper with a Santa hat on the front. Dean of course rolled his eyes at me.

I carried Phoebe Aaleyah through to the living room, where I had filled the stockings that morning, and Dean had put some gifts in mine, and some more in Phoebe Aaleyah’s, when he had taken the mugs through a moment ago.

“Look Phoebe, look what Santa left for you” Dean spoke to Phoebe Aaleyah in a babyish voice, walking over to her stocking. I gasped and looked at her, playing along.

“Look sweetie” I smiled, sitting on the couch, placing her gently beside me, propped up by cushions, while Dean brought her stocking over and sat the other side of her. Phoebe Aaleyah’s eyes fixed on the pink and blue flowery wrapping paper in the stocking. Although Dean had wrapped her gifts in blue paper, I had to credit him for finding some with flowers on it.

We took it in turns to each help Phoebe Aaleyah open a present, as all she could do was grab the paper and wave it around. She seemed to love the noise of the paper being scrunched up into a ball.

“Oh, look, you got a new teddy” I smiled, helping her open a present from Dean, which inside had a little teddy bear holding a circular see-through rattle with multi-coloured plastic balls inside. Phoebe Aaleyah squealed happily and shook it, clearly enjoying the rattling noises. Dean smiled and then helped her open another stocking present from me.

“Daddy got you a new pacifier, with a car on it” Dean’s eyes flashed up to meet mine, and I could see the look of approval on his face.

Phoebe Aaleyah got 6 small presents in her stocking in total, the other 4 were a teething ring with 3 key-shapes attached, to look like a set of car keys, a Disney princess Sippy cup, a tiny patchwork soother blanket, and some tiny black converse baby-shoes.

“These are so sweet Dean” I complimented, admiring the Converse shoes.

“I couldn’t resist” He chuckled, walking over to get our stockings. Phoebe Aaleyah sat happily between us while we opened our presents, she was too preoccupied with her new rattle.

“Some new tapes for Baby” Dean grinned at the cassette tapes in his hand. Phoebe Aaleyah looked up at him expectantly.

“No, not you baby, Daddies other Baby” Dean smirked, handing her the rattle to distract her again.

“…A pie recipe book?” I raised an eyebrow at Dean. He looked down shyly, hiding a smile. I put the book on the coffee table, along with all the other stocking presents for the three of us.

“A mistletoe belt buckle” Dean laughed, holding it up to look at it closer “This is the best” He unbuckled his jeans and attached the belt buckle to his belt, putting his plain one on the table.

“Now we are both Christmassy” I winked. Dean rolled his eyes, and pushed the empty wrapping paper aside, looking around.

“Big presents now?” He asked. I nodded, and carried Phoebe Aaleyah to sit her in her bouncy chair, facing the tree. We sat either side of her, and rummaged through the gifts.

“Phoebe Aaleyah, this one is from both Daddies” I smiled as she watched me pick up a box wrapped in pink princess paper.

“Though I had no choice on paper” Dean grumbled under his breath, before helping me unwrap it, Phoebe Aaleyah tugging on loose bits of paper to play with.

“Look, we got you a bouncer for the door frame” I smiled, holding it up to show her. She placed a hand on the picture, then gurgled, and went back to tearing up paper.

The next few presents were a set of denim overalls, some new pairs of socks, 3-6 month clothes, some new dresses, and a couple of princess dress-up dresses for 6+ months.

“So cute” I smiled, holding up the Cinderella dress.

Dean grinned, and slid a box towards me, wrapped roughly in blue paper. I cocked an eyebrow, and unwrapped it. Inside, was a few pie dishes and cookie cutters, as well as various tools for decorating the edges of pie pastry with patterns and shapes.

“You really want pie, don’t you?” I laughed, pushing the box aside.

“Our baby girl needs to try cherry pie, so she can be more like me” He sulked playfully. I rolled my eyes, and handed him a present.

“Aww a baby carrier” He cooed, admiring the black front-facing carrier with tiny pink flowers on the straps “Though I hate you for the flowers” He scowled at me.

“They can come off” I promised, snickering.

“I got you a present from Phoebe Aaleyah” Dean shrugged, moving the carrier to one side and handing me a present roughly wrapped in pink paper, sticky tape everywhere “She attempted to help wrap it too”

Smiling, I tore open the paper to reveal a T-shirt saying ‘world’s best dad’ with matching socks.

“Thank you baby girl” I grinned, kissing the top of her head softly.

“Oh and this one too” Dean quickly added, sliding a smaller present in my direction, wrapped the same as before. It was a ‘world’s best dad’ mug with a tie folded up inside, which had a stick figure drawing of a daddy and daughter on the fabric.

“These are the best” I complimented, leaning over to hug Dean.

“Phoebe Aaleyah helped me pick some for you too” I handed him a present, neatly wrapped in teddy bear paper and tied with a blue bow.

“Best presents ever” He grinned widely, pulling out the black ‘My kid rocks’ T-shit and tiny black ‘My daddy rocks’ Babygro. He looked down at Phoebe Aaleyah “Except you, you were my best present”.

After a few more presents were open, and cards for ‘A wonderful Partner’ and ‘World’s best Daddy’ and ‘Beautiful Daughter on her first Christmas’, there was a knock at the door.

“Hey Charlie” I grinned, letting her in.

“Where is my beautiful niece?” She cooed, running over to Phoebe Aaleyah and scooping her up and spinning around. Phoebe Aaleyah squealed in delight, blowing raspberries. Charlie sat on the couch and shrugged off her backpack, opening it with one hand to reveal a present.

“Look what Aunty Charlie got you” She grinned, helping Phoebe Aaleyah tear at the paper. Inside was a small feathery crown, tiny pink ballet shoes with sequins, and a pink tutu “For the prettiest princess in Moondoor”.

Phoebe Aaleyah grabbed the hem of the tutu, clearly liking the texture, and shook it around happily.

“Nice to see you too” Dean chuckled, slumping into the arm chair.

“Sorry” She smiled sheepishly “Did you get my card? I didn’t know if I was coming, but then I found these and knew I _had_ to”.

“Yeah, the vouchers will help a lot” I said thankfully, perching on the arm of Dean’s chair.

“Good” She grinned, turning her attention back to Phoebe Aaleyah “I can’t stay, I have some Christmas special quests to do”

“Before you go” I interrupted her, pulling out a card from my pocket “This is for you, from all of us”.

“Aww, thanks guys” She flushed, opening the card with one hand, still holding Phoebe Aaleyah.

“It’s a gift voucher for that online game you play, if you wanna buy more in-game gold or whatever” Dean shrugged, not entirely understanding how it worked.

“This is brill, now I can afford the level 85 duel wield daggers with +20 Attack damage and +15 poison” She grinned. Myself and Dean looked at each other and cocked an eyebrow.

“See ya later bitches” She grinned, passing Phoebe Aaleyah to Dean before skipping out the flat.

I looked at Dean, who shook his head, smiling, and as completely baffled as I was.

“Gotta love her” I laughed heartily, moving the wrapping paper and gifts aside.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Dean got up, expecting Charlie to have forgotten something, and went to open it, Phoebe Aaleyah resting in his other arm.

“Delivery for Mr Winchester”

Dean eyed the delivery man, then the large box by his feet.

“Yeah?”

“Sign here” The man held out a clipboard and pen, and Dean scrawled his name across it. As soon as he handed the pen back, the man shoved the clipboard under his arm and strutted off.

“Weird” Dean remarked, sliding the box into the living room with his foot.

“Does it have a sent address?” I asked, taking Phoebe Aaleyah from Dean’s arm. He analysed the box, tilting it at every angle.

“It’s from Sam and Jess” He grinned, placing the box back down and opening it. Inside was a baby walker, all folded up and ready to be made.

“DIY time” I grinned “Let’s see how macho you are with DIY baby stuff” I winked. Dean snorted at me, rolling his eyes.

“I’m awesome at DIY” He retorted.

An hour later, I was feeding Phoebe Aaleyah her milk on the couch.

“Son of a bitch” Dean snapped.

“Language!”

“Sorry, but how the hell am I supposed to fit part A into part B, when they are the same size and don’t slot in?” He growled, hitting two pieces of metal together.

“Dean…”

“No, I don’t need your help”

“I was just going to…”

“Shush, I’m concentrating”

Half an hour later, I sighed deeply, watching Dean struggle.

“Dean let me help”

“No, I can do this. If I can fix a car, I can fix a damn baby walker”

By this point, I was fed up with being told to shut up, so I growled under my breath, anger bubbling.

“For the sake of my father, Dean, you have part A and C, not A and B. That’s why it’s not bloody working!” I eventually snapped, making both Phoebe Aaleyah and Dean jump. Dean looked at me, then down at the pieces he was holding. He switched one with a different piece, and slotted them together with ease.

“…ah”

Eventually, the walker was built. It had a pastel green base with light pink wheels, white metal poles crossing at the sides, and a light pink frame on top. The activity table area was white, and the seat was a white fabric with light pink butterflies and flowers, and pastel green leaves and vines.

“Not too much pink” Dean noted “It’s perfect”


End file.
